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Is Technology Driving Us Apart?
"@TheRealRachel457 just said she's never done that before. #Swindle"
At the recommendation of Slim Jackson, I went to check out “Up in the Air” a couple weekends ago. For those who haven’t seen the movie or the previews, it’s a relatively new film that stars George Clooney as a corporate loner who’s in the business of firing people for a living. All the while, he’s struggling with a growing need for human contact. His need to fulfill a questionable career goal and his jetsetting lifestyle have all but destroyed every relationship and family tie he had. Yeah, good movie. All the while, a young upstart at his company wants to revolutionize the “firing business” by having the company’s lay off agents fire people over video conference instead of flying to each destination and meeting with the employee in person. Messed up huh? Imagine getting fired over a glorified Skype. While this is a stark and maybe far fetched scenario, this scenario did resonate with me. I have been observing lately that even during our daily lives, we are losing that human touch the more we rely on technology to talk to each other.
This past Christmas (yeah I celebrate Christmas still) I’m sure you were all bombarded by a heap of impersonal mass text messages that read, “Merry Christmas [insert generic friend term here]!” That is unless you’re a friendless hermit. If so, I apologize for throwing salt in the wound. My friends and I joked about the spammish holiday messages during the days before Christmas, but nonetheless I received a good amount of those this season. As a challenge to myself, I sent personalized text messages to my friends wishing them a “Merry Christmas” with an accompanying personal message. The responses I got were full of appreciation, shock and laughter that someone actually sent a text with their name and a few lines pertaining to their lives. And with that small gesture, I fully understood why my grandmother still sends out Christmas cards to everyone. There’s a personal touch that’s being lost with with my generation and may be completely lost with the next.
It’s indicative in our personal relationships and friendships. How easy is it to just wish a person a “Happy Birthday” on Facebook instead of giving them a call? Don’t get me wrong, there’s no need to call the girl you had a crush on in second grade and give her some birthday wishes. You may end up on her stalker watch list. However, does it hurt too much to call your close friend and wish them a “Happy Birthday” even if you only talk for one minute? It may surprise you how much folks will appreciate the call. Technology is supposed to help us contact each other with ease not diminish the contact itself.
And I think that’s the essence of it all. We’re losing sight of the purpose of technology and instead relying on the medium itself. Those who work in an office may sympathize with this example. How many times have you received a confusing email that could’ve been clarified if someone just stopped by your office? People used to look at me confused when I stopped by people’s offices to talk to them or at the very least called to get an explanation rather than going back and forth via email. It solves the problem quicker and is more personable. I guarantee things got done quicker not only because things were crystal clear now, but also because the person could now associate a face to the task. And a relationship is no different from business etiquette. A relationship of any kind cannot sustain itself on text messages and GChat conversations for there’s nothing like hearing a person’s voice. A video chat with a girlfriend or boyfriend that’s in another area code can help bridge the distance, but it cannot make up for being in one another’s presence. Technology is a supplement, not a crutch. Eventually it will break and leave you flat on your face.
Now I’m not saying I want to be on the phone with anyone for a extended amount of time talking about nothing when we could do that on GChat. Even if I do have roll over minutes. Nor am I saying that we should put down our iPhones and Blackberries for the feather pen, ink and a reliable carrier pigeon. However, I do think that it’s time to evaluate whether the technology we’re using is helping or hindering our relationships with each other. I’m personally going to try to do better at it and I hope my friends keep me accountable. So, what do you think? In true irony, let’s talk about all this via this blog site.
Seattle – Still Keeping My Unlimited Text Message Plan – Washington
87 Responses to “Is Technology Driving Us Apart?”
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” A relationship of any kind cannot sustain itself on text messages and GChat conversations for there’s nothing like hearing a person’s voice.”
That’s pretty much exactly what I said to the bf as we called it quits earlier today. There’s something to be said for a person who can have an engaging conversation in person.
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I send my friends Christmas cards. I was late putting them in the mail this year, and I knew they wouldn’t have them by Christmas. So, at 12:30am Christmas day, I sent mass texts to my friends and acquaintances wishing them a Happy Holiday and Merry Christmas. And I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t like talking on the phone that much, and a test is easier.
I try to call my babies more, though. And last week, I just found out one of my besties has had a threesome. Now, it I had called more, I would have known that. SMH….
Truth is, I have a busy life, and Gchat, Twitter, Skype, etc. are more convenient for me, and they allow me and my friends to communicate with each other while we are at work, or otherwise unavailable to talk to each other on the phone. And I always call my friends for birthdays and holidays, even if I do send a text. The best of both worlds in my book.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 9:08 am
“And last week, I just found out one of my besties has had a threesome. Now, it I had called more, I would have known that. SMH….”
wait…
first off congrads to your bestie (assuming its a girl).
But what good would your talking to the bestie have done? Is it that you just wanted to details sooner? Or you would have hated and planted the seeds of doubt.
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N.I.A. has Haiti on her mind.... Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:49 am
I would have known sooner. I felt out of the loop b/c the rest of our close friends knew. It happened a few years ago when I was in law school, and I know I wasn’t talking to her much during that time. I kinda felt bad I couldn’t be there to talk to her about it, especially since she felt bad after it went down.
And I wanted details!!! LOL!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
“especially since she felt bad after it went down.”
0_o. Eff your girl. She is going to discourage other women from doing it. Some people just don’t know how good they have it.
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Aww man =( I was about to be this post’s first! Post Cherry pop O_O
So I sent out about 10 Christmas cards for 2009 and the responses I got back were so lovely. Everyone was shocked, happy and so appreciative. And that was the best feeling. Someone even said I made his Christmas, but he was a bad investment. I still liked that I could cheer him up this season (^_^)
I’m all for live communication but people are so reliant and dependent on text messages (I’m keeping my unlimited texts too) and emails and what have you.
I appreciate spur of the moment phone calls, letters (only from “special people”), visits, etc. Haven’t tried video chat on an extreme level but it’s the thought that counts.
I tweet the quote “Technology is a supplement, not a crutch. Eventually it will break and leave you flat on your face.” It’s so true. Technology is definitely a HUGE factor in driving everyone apart. People add on to being driven away from one another too. And because of this wave of antisocial “friends” of mine that always want to text, I think it’s becoming contagious..
But I shan’t divert from my communicative ways and habits. I like talking. Face to face. Texts will suffice until then. But, like I said, I do love a great phone call. =)
Sue – Let’s Sit In A Circle And Get To Know One Another Personally – Dukez
^_^
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I totally agree with this!! We are being driven apart by technology! I am not a fan of texting, but at the same time, find myself texting more and more. There are certain people I expect to talk to on the phone, and some I’m okay with texting.
I even see this spilling over into relationships. We text more than we sit on the phone. I guess this is the way of the world.
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I feel you on this one. I cannot stand habitual text messagers. I only text message if I am running late, or need to ask a quick question. People want to carry on entire convo’s on text. I dont think so. I will stop texting and call you. I can’t do that back and forth. All of this text messaging is limiting intimacy in relationships as well. I wish we could go back to pagers (no I dont) but it least it required a phone call back…there was no getting around that. VM is a crutch, too. People wanna leave long vm’s about their day and how life is going….I say, lets bring back the busy signal (not really) but at least you didnt have 50 vm’s to try and get through. I long for the good old days….lol.
Good post.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:01 am
Slow down my queen…
texting has its usefulness. Sometime you can’t say what you erally want to say infront of people. But as long as no one is looking at your screen, you can text all teh dirty sex talk, gossip, and/or curse words. I wouldn’t make it through work without texting.
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Smiley Face Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Took the words right out of my mouth….add to that a look across the room and it’s on!
Many days I’m sitting at my desk cussing folk out right in front of their face on my phone to Mr Mister..keeps me sane, lol.
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MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
“Shorty just text me, says she want to sex me, LOL Smiley Face”
just saying… lol
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Yeah, there are definitely a lot of books (those square boxes with sheets of paper bound by posterboard) written about this very phenomenon. Modern sociology has shifted it’s whole focus to virtual interaction and how it has increased the rate of depression, feelings of loneliness or emptiness, and even impacted divorce, suicide, and other sociological problems. Basically there is something inherently human about the need for human interaction, and it is not fully satisfied by text, gchat, or facebook. The problem is we kinda psyche ourselves into thinking we’re fulfilling that need through these other forms. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes when someone calls me, I’ll ignore the call but text them instead, or sign on to fb or gchat. I actually convince myself it’s the same thing for both of us if they can tell me whatever they had to tell me via the written (instant) word. When really, I needed that phone call as much as they needed to talk to me. And I’m the first to admit, I’ve never felt so alone as I do now. Eh. =/
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:55 am
That’s real. Living apart from my friends and family, I’ve definitely realized that there is a huge difference between phone calls/video conference and actual face time. In fact, those phone calls would leave me more messed up than if I hadn’t talked to them at all.
Dammit, I’m going home to see my momma this weekend.
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MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
“The problem is we kinda psyche ourselves into thinking we’re fulfilling that need through these other forms”
I don’t know about all that… I don’t think we think of the technological conveniences (gchat, text, etc) as replacements to physical/auditory human interaction. At the sametime embracing one form a some point in time doesn’t necessarily mean you’re rejecting another form. I too have ignored calls and promptly responded in some other form… but that’s not because I was hiding behind technology… Maybe I’m at work and I forgot to turn my ringer off, or I’m in the company of others and I don’t want to have to leave the scene in order to converse with the caller…
I just know that when I don’t have the luxury of being on the phone, something as simple as a single emoticon from someone else can make a world of difference. Maybe there’s some intangible understanding between close people… Sometimes my friends and I have an implied context that only we understand… Doesn’t any close group of humans come up with their own quasi-language?
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Doesn’t any close group of humans come up with their own quasi-language?
Absolutely, but those intangible understandings come from human interaction, right?
My friends and I have things we say that no one else would get. Like “jes” instead of yes — which we say to mean we emphatically agree. I don’t know where that came from, but we all get it. I bet when you read that you mispronounced it. We know how to say it because of that regular interaction. This is a very simple example — but it makes the point. The understanding comes from somewhere and that place is probably not very techy.
I agree with you, though, most of us probably don’t see technology as replacement for human interaction but how long before that’s no longer true of the masses?
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MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
I see your point… However, the “closeness” of two human beings cannot be quantified by the amount of non-techy time spent together (whatever that means since Humans use tools); but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation… It’s like an argument that was used when the telephone came about or when mail systems were introduced… Even after all this techy stuff has been plopped onto our laps, we still visit eachother…
I agree with you, though, most of us probably don’t see technology as replacement for human interaction but how long before that’s no longer true of the masses?
People sound like they’re questioning the survival of older forms of communication… I dare say that all forms survive, it just has various manifestations. Instead of writing letters, we send email mostly… that’s doesn’t mean we lost the will or ability to send mail, we just use a different mail system… No one sends smoke signals, but we can text our fingers off…
It’s separating the understanding of a form of communication from it’s manifestation…
Forms of communication: auditory, written, physical
Given there’s written language, we’ll ALWAYS some how WRITE out our thoughts (bio-materials/rock to ink/paper to keys/electronic file to touchscreen/cellular towers…).
Texting is only one of many manifestations for written communication…
So I guess people are really asking is: Will a form of communication ever impede on the use of another possibly towards it’s extinction? Of course not… something that hasn’t grew old with all this technology is plain ol’ SEX (the case w/o toys). There, one can communicate (or not) what they want. auditory communication: Babies will still cry… Adults will always talk and scream… (even during sex..)
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It’s an unfortunate trend I see happening and I think we’re all falling into it. Your reference to on-the-job-technology-takeover is perfect. It’s amazing how people will walk right past my desk and send me an e-mail as soon as they get to their desk. I understand sometimes wanting to have records of communication, but you could’ve given me a heads up dude. You walked right past me.
I love things like facebook, gchat, and texting for allowing me to keep up with a lot of people at once. There are some people you can only get at during the day and if you have a 9-5 sitting on the phone is just not realistic; however, if I meet somebody and the only form of communication they seem to want to have is via text, that’s a red flag.
My ex was big on “phone time.” It used to drive me crazy; sometimes I just wanted to send an e-mail and be done with it but he always said “If I need to say it to you, I want to do it face to face and if not that, then I need to do it on the phone…” at this point, I respect his gangsta. People just don’t want to talk on the phone anymore. Blast those unlimited texting plans!
I knew it had gotten bad when there got to be some people who, if they called me, my heart race sped up because I knew it had to be bad news.
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Seattle you should know better….
Don’t you go suggesting those insightful funny character driven movies staring white people… you know the people of threeways only like movies starring black men dressed in drag with poor plot development!
#shotsfired.
Slim is wild’n. He knows I put him on to that movie. I even sent him the movie. I’m a huge fan of Jason Reitman. Juno is one of my all time favs! And alot of people think this one is better. I have already seen the movie 2.5 times. I love the fact that they used real people who had been laid off.
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LoudPen Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
CheekZ,
That shot was stupid & uncalled for. Like seriously. You pulled in an old a** post from 2009. It’s 2010 boo, we onto the next one.
#shotsfiredrightback
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Technology is a supplement, not a crutch. Eventually it will break and leave you flat on your face.
^^
THIS!!!!!!!
That is the main idea of this blog, in my opinion. Personal communication si a lost art among the advances of civilization. We must remember thought that communication evolves also, and we have to continue to find that human element among the technology, #noTonyStark
also, that caption on the pic? Priceless!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:16 am
Yeah, I thought you’d laugh at that. Lol.
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It can get annoying when the only time I can reach a person is through facebook….
.
Why is it that I can call you, leave a message…two days later you haven’t returned the call BUT I can send you a message through facebook and I get a MOBILE response from you in 2 minutes….something ain’t right.
Like you said, it does have it’s place but it does leave something to be desired with the human feel of conversation and communication.
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:26 am
Makes me think of people who won’t pick up the phone, but instead will return your call with a text.
I’m not talking about situations where you can’t be on the phone, like when you’re in a meeting or in class — I’m talking about the people who ALWAYS do that. C’mon dude, sometimes, you’re laying on the couch.
Not to mention, if I called you — odds are I wanted to talk to you, not spill my guts via my fingers. I have blackberry thumb as it is.
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Smiley Face Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:35 am
OK!! For real! I’m not trying to send fiddyleven texts when we can have a 5 minute conversation…pick up the phone!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:46 am
LOL @ Blackberry thumb. Our fingers weren’t built for texting and typing constantly. Our hands are going to look like a Auntie Anne’s pretzel when we’re 70+.
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:52 am
They sure are. My mom had to have surgery on her thumbs due to a job she held briefly. She says the pain I describe is similar to what she experienced. Lawd Jeebus.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:17 am
I can’t stand those. I called you for a reason. You don’t pick up but you’ll reply “Wassup” via text message? Way to slap me in the face. =(
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CHeeKZ Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
If I’m watching the game… or 24… or some p0rn.
I don’t want to hear your voice. Enter Txt.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Yo Tengo Superior Genetic Makeup Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Word…you should know that you shouldnt expect a response when 24 is on!
And can I say…for some odd reason, I’m a little disappointed w/ this season…who the hell cast BUBBA GUMP as the Director of CTU…G.T.F.O.H.W.T.S.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Ohhhh okay. 24 just became a new thing for me. So I guess there are times. I mean, I wouldn’t call during a game or something you
gotdamn regginsgentlemen live by. That’s just rude.Just like I wouldn’t want someone to call during Bad Girls Club, Heroes, 24, a good movie, sex (good or bad
..if it’s bad, I’ll probably text you lmao) and whatnot.Reply
CHeeKZ Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
its acceptable to text during doggy.
But when you are getting and giving face…NO!
watch out calling while I am @ work. I’m likely to pick up and let you hear… see you should have sent a text.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Texting during Face time is disrespectful…especially if it’s good. Texting during “The Act” is wrong period. I haven’t had to pick up my phone during it…only AFTER…if I can move. But calling someone? Oh you’re wrong
and I’m guilty of it toololReply
MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
I can’t agree since there are women who have given me the go-a-head (pause) to answer the phone during face time. One time, HER mom called me while… lol. Then another time my lender called me… Another time my brother called me…
Me: “Yeah”
Bro: “What’s good man?”
Me: *pause* “Man…” *bites fist* “just chillin’…”
Bro: “So yeah I got this new job, making some more paper”
Me: *pause* “Yeah…”
Bro: “What are you doing?”
Me: *ahh sh_t…* “You know… just coolin’ it…”
Bro: “Are you getting head?”
Me: “Homie… Let me hit you back forreal…”
just saying… lol
Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
LOL that’s insane. Okay if someone’s mom is calling, that’s just.. uncomfortable
*raises hand slowly* Been there, done that.
Smiley Face Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
But two days later and STILL no response…c’mon CHeeKZ man…o_O, lol
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Great post. While I love the convenience of technology, I too am growing a little tired of the distance that it allows us to create in our relationships. Yet, I’m all for sending texts to people you don’t really want to talk to. So I’m back and forth about it. I am also becoming more suspicious of all that technology can do. Yeah, its cool that my GPS can pinpoint my exact location, but damn, its scary too. Is anything really private anymore? *O_o to google*
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Yeah. And eff twitter for trying to geo-tag my tweets. No I don’t want people knowing where I am when I say something.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Nothing is private anymore. Did you know even WITH private Twitter profiles, you can Google your name ans it shows things you’ve said?? =( Crazy but sad and true
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Facebook isn’t even private anymore. I can’t even hide from the people the way I used to because they went and changed all the settings. Bastards.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
From what I’m hearing, they won’t let people delete their Facebooks completely. I think we signed our rights to the devil. Eff fine print (I will definitely be eff’n that in 2 days. Be on the LurkOut)
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I like texting and BBM. It allows me to simultaneously enjoy tv while not truly paying attention to what someone is saying to me and still come across as attentive…as long as i respond within 5-10 minutes.
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I do agree with Gchat is more convenient during the day while at work, but otherwise I’d rather more personal communication. My BF and I gchat, bbm all the time but sometimes its like damn, can I hear your voice? But its soooo much easier to talk about boring ish via type. On the phone it just seems kinda dumb & a waste of time.
I hate mass texts of any kind. I called one of my besties out on it and she had the nerve to send a mass happy new year email instead taking bout “well I promised I’d stop sending mass texts” like that was any better! lol. I respond to the msgs I can tell were personally for me-the others, I just let em accumulate. they don’t really seem sincere to me. If I can’t take the time out to contact you individually, I’m just not gonna do it. its no hard feelings though *shrugs*
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great post. awesome quotables throughout. i completely agree with the sentiment of the post- we are replacing necessary interaction with technology. and it doesn’t even afford good communication or communication skills! so much is lost without body language, facial expression, tone- all those things are necessary for context and the lack of them brings along miscommunication, misunderstandings, and fights. so sad. and i won’t even get started on how texting/facebooking/twittering has created these socially retarded beings in the world. but we frequently swing from one extreme to another, that seems to be the human way (e.g. indeterminate sentencing to mandatory minimums/determinate sentencing <– studying criminology so best example. forgive the nerdiness). i hope we’ll usher in a swinging of the pendulum back the other way and at least enjoy a little time in the happy, sane middle.
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Your post makes me also think of how kids can’t spell for jack these days.
In all their efforts to be special, they’ve truly forgotten how to spell simple words, like “true” which is not “tru” no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:19 am
0r if th3y start r3plac!ng l3tt3rs w!th num83rs and $ymb01$
=( Breaks my heart
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:20 am
Seriously, that hurts my head. Who came up with this mess? They need to be punished, immediately.
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Smiley Face Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:22 am
YES!! You know how long it took my to figure out that
“We r go’n 2 cry sk8 l8 2nite.”
meant
“We are going to Crystal Skate later tonight.”
O_o
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:25 am
I would have punched whoever sent me that in the face. Why am I having to decipher this mess? Just say it right.
I already can’t stand when people send me a short text with “dis” or “dat” in it. Dude, you not saving characters, you’re being lazy and stupid. Cut it out.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:29 am
How about these “cute” ones: “k” “lol” “ok” “iight” and the double k “kk”?
Seriously people, if you’re going to use text messages, please use all 160 characters. Twitter gives us 140. AIM texts give 129. All these restrictions, you might as well call me.
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:31 am
Yo! Can someone explain to me what’s up with the “z”s and extra letters?? Like “lolllzz”
I’m about to lose my mind. Cause LOL just isn’t enough, huh? We gotta be extra?
Dammit, find some other way to be different. Wear all black, pierce your nose, dye your hair yellow.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:44 am
What about LLS or LML?? From what people are saying it means “Laughing Like Shit” and “Laughing My Laugh”.
1. Shit doesn’t laugh. It just sits there. Sinks or floats. No laughing involved with shit, last I checked.
2. I would only HOPE it’s your laugh that you’re laughing. Why would you do anything like someone else, especially laugh?
The Z must mean they’re really laughing out loudZ. Lol I just stopped a laugh myself trying to say that ridiculousness out loud.
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Smiley Face Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:39 am
Maaannnn….I plucked her in the nose, lol.
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Sue Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:26 am
You’re lying?! Ha! And now because kids (at the age of 7) have cell phones are Blackberrys and what have you, the whole text messaging phenomenon is crashing. Letters will cease to exist soon.
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Texting, IMing, e-mailing and even Twitter help me keep in contact. My work hours are crazy. Sometimes when I get home, everyone is heading to bed. If I don’t text my BFF a msg or two, we might not talk for a week. Some contact is better than none at all. So for me, technology is helping keep me close to people. And because of the nature of my job, I don’t really miss out on face-to-face human contact. I spend the majority of my day out and about talking to people.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:37 am
It’s kind of funny you say that because that’s exactly what the main character of “Up In The Air”, and I to extent, thought as well. Lately, I’ve come to grips with the fact that there’s a difference between interacting with co-workers, clients and strangers and actual people who care about your well being. It nurtures the soul while the former are just appetizers. Just something to think about.
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I like my technology, I feel it keeps me closer to my friends on a regular basis. Yes I could call twice a week for 30 minute conversations, but I like the fact that G-chat and BBM allow us to constantly share the happenings in our lives.
Some people can take it too far though, one guy at job tried to teach me how to use the location feature on Google maps, looks down at his blackberry and goes “What’s my girlfriend doing on 86th street?” I almost died. A few weeks ago I wrote my friend on BBM and she didn’t respond the entire day, the next day I called her job like “Why didn’t you respond to my BBM?” turns out she had a new pin, later that night I joked with another friend that I was acting like a jealous Boyfriend. A few days later I left my phone at home and a friend I speak to on BBM almost everyday wrote me a few BBMs, didn’t get a response so she texted me, still no response so she called my phone, when I didn’t answer she wrote on my facebook wall. I think it’s all pretty hilarious, it’s kind of like when you’re in grade school and your best friend misses a day, whether they’re ok or not will constantly be on your mind.
I lost my phone last year and didn’t get back all my numbers because I have friends who I’ve known for years but couldn’t get in touch with, I was so happy when Christmas came around and I got my Generic Merry Christmas texts, I wrote back people with the “who is this?” and I was able to get all my numbers back that way. In my circle technology works to keep us all connected all the time, even friend I don’t speak to on the regular on g-chat, if I notice they haven’t logged-in in a while, I’ll call to make sure they’re ok.
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My co-worker, who I just saw in the break room getting coffee, emailed me a yes or no question about our project. Heffa, I just saw you!! smh… Maybe she was afraid to ask me a stupid question face-to-face. sigh….
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:10 am
People hide behind e-mails, I swear.
I’ve had people walk past me, smile at me, ask how my day is and 2 mins later fire off a nasty e-mail. They knew when they stood there asking me 50-11 questions they intended to get in my a** about something (pause).
I typically will just go to their desk if something like that happens — just to drive home the point that we could’ve done this from jump.
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N.I.A. has Haiti on her mind.... Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 11:34 am
She asked a follow-up question, and I had to pay her a little visit. She apologized profusely…. She’s a litte new here and new to the project, so I’ll give her a pass this time.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I work in a pretty chatty environment (in a productive way) and I still get tons of emails that the person could have just looked up and said to me. I don’t think this will ever stop. ever.lol.
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Cheekie Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
lol, same here.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
So do I. Thing is, I have people who will chat all day about Glee, but don’t like to discuss work face-2-face.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I’m seeing your point now.lol. American Idol, 24, and Jersey Shore are the hot face to face topics. Anything regarding business…email.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Exactly!! LOL!
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
You can’t truly “beat the beat” over text message my friend. That’s something that deserves to be done face to face.
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People will take anything and hide behind it. As long as they don’t have to be themselves, it’s quite alright. I’m starting to hate text messages. As “convenient” as they are, I can’t take that people would rather text than talk. Someone actually told me, “I can take a 15 minute phone conversation and spread it out for days via text”. Shocked the hell outta me but he was right. And it was sad that he was right.
No one knows how to have conversations anymore. Once text messaging came into our hands (-_-), it revealed the true colors of all the boring ass people we know and …”love”. Boring in person but popping via text messaging? Sorry..
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LoudPen Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Your comment was crazy. Absolutely insane. It was soo on point. You’re right ppl. scared to talk on the phone or in real life must not be that interesting. I always have something interesting to say.
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I prefer a real phone call over a text unless texting is the only option.
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“However, I do think that it’s time to evaluate whether the technology we’re using is helping or hindering our relationships with each other.”
I think it’s a little bit of both. I haven’t seen Up in the Air, but firing someone over Skype is kinda genius. It’s bogus as hell, but that ish could cut down on travel expenses if you have to have a meeting with someone across the country somewhere. I think it hurts because a lot of folks are using it as a crutch. How many horror stories have we heard of ninjas breaking up with their boo over text message? I never heard of a ninja breaking up with his ex with a smoke signal. It was only when technology became advanced that it started to actually replace talking.
As for me, I HATE talking on the phone. I used to hate texting too until the QWERTY (it was fun typing that…all the letters next to each other and ish) keyboard arrived on cell phones. Now, if I just have something quick to say, I text it. Or if I’m at work and can’t talk on the phone, I’ll text a convo. It’s pretty convenient. However, if I know the convo is gonna be hella long and miscontrued over text, I’m picking up the phone. It’s just easier.
Even if staying on the phone for hours will make my ear sweat.Reply
MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Now, if I just have something quick to say, I text it. Or if I’m at work and can’t talk on the phone, I’ll text a convo.
co-sign.
I think that given we are in more of a “multi-task” world. We have these tools to facilitate communication within our busy lives. Seriously, if I have nothing really important to say, or I’m asking something that doesn’t require an immediate answer, then, BBM or texting it is…
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Cheekie Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Exactly. I always feel silly when I call someone and have a convo like this:
Callee: Hello?
Cheekie: Hey, what’s up.
Callee: Hey, what’s good.
Cheekie: I’m cool. Where’s Macy’s?
Callee: State Street.
Cheekie: Thanks. *click*
I coulda just texted that ish. Normally that convo would last like 5 seconds. Waste of time picking up the phone to my ear. lol
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MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Also, when I text I don’t plan on having long drawn out conversations and ish (some people do though. O_o). I already know there may be delays on either end given we’re both probably multi-tasking. Very low priority communication…
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Acknowledging peoples existence on the planet when you pass them in the street/hallway/church is highly underrated. I am not lying to you, after I posted my last comment (on my way to the rooftop to jump off), I had like 3 people genuinely smile at me and say “good morning”. I don’t know if it’s the weather (being 75 today) or that I’m wearing uber bright cheerleader colors today, but everyone who passed me spoke to me. And all I was thinking is “if this were the northeast, that ish right there woulda never happened and I woulda slit my wrist in the bathroom by now.”
My point is, I also think technology has made us all hermits that “hide behind virtuality” as everyone keeps mentioning. So if we see the opportunity to genuinely speak to someone (if they don’t have an ipod in), we often pass it up cuz we’re afraid of their response or we can’t tell ourselves that if they don’t say hi back, it’s because they didn’t check their email yet. I dunno. Just talk to me people!!
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Smiley Face Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
For true!
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MeteorMan Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I agree that people do sometimes “hide behind virtuality” hence meeting a business contact is easier on LinkedIn rather than face-2-face.
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I’ve also noticed a growing number of people talking in Twitter/abbreviated speak. A lot more folks saying wtf or idk or bbl in everyday conversation. I don’t mean the full words. I mean the abbreviations just as you see them here. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’ma keep saying “pound” before a brief 1-3 word phrase though.lol.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
I sincerely hope you’re talking about women. If anyone of my boys said, “BBL son” to me in person – it would end our friendship post haste.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
LMAO at this. I’ma holler at you on Gchat tho.
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Ever since that Cingular commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nIUcRJX9-o
I’m definitely guilty of this and I think I derive a secret pleasure from doing it. I knew I had a problem when I was visiting mi madre for Christmas and she asked me what time I’d be back, I said “idk.”
It wasn’t until much later that I even realized I did it. She thought I was trying to be smart… ::sigh::
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Cheekie Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
“I knew I had a problem when I was visiting mi madre for Christmas and she asked me what time I’d be back, I said “idk.””
I understand tryin’ to shorten ish, but a lot of those acronyms are the same number of syllables that the phrases are when spoken out loud. IDK – I don’t know, WTF – What the f*ck, OMG (a very popular one) – Oh My God. Like, no one is saving time here! lol
But for people who are overexposed to acronyms all the time due to Twitterverse and other internet-villes
(like me), I can totally understand the usage of acronyms in daily life. Them m-effing acronyms have a way to seep into our subconscious. I find myself saying ‘FML’ sometimes when I stub a toe or some ish.
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Dot Dot Dot Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
I like saying WTF, STG and others because they are SFW…
I also say “Sigh” a lot. Just in case you don’t get the hint when I physically do it…
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ASmith Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I type “(dot dot dot)” instead of “…” when I really want to emphasize the trail off… One friend asked “why don’t you just use the ellipses”
“you’re too smart for your own good, (dot dot dot)” I responded.
And feel free to let this loser (me) know what STG means.
FTW and I just recently became acquainted.
confession: I judge people when they don’t know old ones like SMH and ROFLReply
I actually think technology has allowed me to cut the fat when it comes to dealing with people. Only family and close friends even get phone calls (which I despise by the way) and everyone else gets either aim or facebook. I refuse to twitter because I can’t fathom being that self important. We are speeding towards the day where robots will do all our speaking for us.
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Hey 3ways fam! It’s good to be back! Happy New Year to everyone! Sorry, I’m excited cuz this is my first comment in 2010.
Back to the post, technology is starting to piss me off. Like really. I like using GChat, text, & Twitter, but for different reasons. GChat is cool just to have a quick convo & talk ish about ur co-workers when they are standing right next to you.
Text is simply for follow up, just a quick hey or I miss u, no actual conversations should happen via text (IMO). If u have an actual conversation via text, I think that’s odd. Like Sam Jackson said on Boondocks, “why text & have a convo u could’ve had on the phone in 5 secs?” I guarantee the phone is more personal, less dramatic, and your damn fingers won’t hurt. Twitter is for talking to ppl. I don’t know in real life…so no need to get on the phone or chill with them.
I HATE work email. None of my immediate co-workers are in my immediate office & it is so annoying. All day I get these long ass emails full of crap that we could’ve had a damn meeting about. Foolishness. I dont read the emails, just skim.
Technology is ruining relationships (dating/love) FB, Twitter & other sites give u access to stalk ur mate & what they are doing which does nothing but make u crazier. I like technology cuz it’s made some things easier but I do feel like it’s having a negative affect on my life.
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1. “Up in the Air” was a great movie. George Clooney can have it.
2. GTalk/GChat for Blackberries is an amazing app.
3. Did we ever stop to think about how many more relationships we sustain based off of statuses, BBM, “Like” buttons, gtalk and other instant messengers? I can stay in touch with someone I am not close to, because I don’t have to call them and try to talk about all the things we don’t have in common.
If you look at older generations, many people fall out of touch with people (except for an annual Holiday Card) after they no longer have direct contact with them. My parents have “found” so many “old friends” now that they are on Facebook, because NO ONE takes the initiative to pick up the phone.
My friends? Monthly phone dates. My associates? I’ll hit you up on Gchat.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
January 20th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
That’s where technology has it pluses. Especially in this economy where people are using any old connection to get a job. However it’s all about balance and you seem to have it figured out with your phone dates and associate buddy lists. Thanks for stopping by!
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Today, not more than 20 minutes ago, a co-worker e-mailed me.
“Can you call me when you get a chance?”
No, she had not previously attempted to call me. I’ve been at my desk since 9:00 (before, actually) am and I haven’t left.
That’s all. Thank you world for listening.
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