Nah, Don’t Call Me. Just Text Me.
Last week, we had a good conversation going about how people now turn to the internets and social sites like Twitter and Facebook for the news and gospel of current events. Along those same lines, people have started to lean on the various forms of communication in their relationships with boos or potential boos.
What do you mean, Miss Jenkins?
I’m glad you asked. Remember the days when you had to have a phone conversation with people to get to know them?Nowadays, we have text messages, email, gchat, AIM, Skype, FB, myspace, twitter, and all the other mediums of communication that somehow have managed to trump face to face or ear to ear conversations.
To a certain extent, I kinda like being able to talk to someone throughout the course of the day through one of these thangs. When I’m at work, I can’t be sitting on my cooler than your phone iPhone all day. Plus the small talk helps make the day go by faster.
But…You can’t get to know someone via text messages.
I’m sorry, but most of our first few communications should not be via text message. Back in undergrad, this was cute, but things have changed. For me at least. Can you really determine your interest in someone by their 300 character text messages? Or maybe texting is an indication of lack of interest. I guess if I was really interested, I would pick up the phone and call. Or answer his calls. But its pretty lame to be texting all vigorously and consistently, and then have nothing to say during a phone call. How fast you can respond to a text does not translate into real time communication skills.
But what about when you are in a relationship?
Or just dealing with one boo piece. Let’s see:
You and your boo are currently in a rough spot. She said something crazy to you; or maybe he did something that really hurt your feelings; or maybe there is something in the air that is not sitting well between the two of you and it wasn’t his/her flatulence.
You know that you have to talk about it, but you both at work all day, and can’t really talk. Instead, you IM or email your thoughts. You get to say what you need without seeing her tears or the pulsating veins in his thronxington forehead. By the time you see each other later, the hard part is over. You get some pumpington kiss and make up.
I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with this, but its just something to think about. I have definitely chosen to email/IM about my issues so that he couldn’t see me cry sweat. Hell, it was so much easier. I didn’t have to worry about forgetting that really important point that I wanted to make, and came across at least semi-coherently.
But I also know that after I have done this once or twice with a boo, I sometimes have a hard time being able to articulate my emotions face to face. I get all flustered, forget what I really wanted to say, or skip over the main reason for my angst. My heart races a bit, my voice gets all shaky, and I feel uncomfy. And while I managed to get my point across eventually, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if it wasn’t for my semi-reliance on technology.
So good people, do you think technology and the internets have affected communication and how you interact with boos, potential boos, JOs, or people you are dating? Have you started to use text messaging and IM as a reason to spend less time on the phone or face to face with people? Or does it depend on the person? Leave a comment with your thoughts. Or text me. That’s how I like it. Pause.
Miss – Nah, you can’t have my number, but here is my email address - Jenkins
And don’t forget to vote! 
16 Responses to “Nah, Don’t Call Me. Just Text Me.”
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Most definitely!! I’ve seen the adverse effects technology is having on my face-to-face communication skills with boos, so I’ve begun to make a concerted effort to demand face time. This can’t transcend into marriage and other arenas of life like work and family communication, so while I do love the convenience of all of this technology, I’m starting to be more cognizant of the downsides.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 6th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Yeah word. When we beef with our husbands or wives, will we email them about it? Something to think about…
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No question it’s all affected many peoples’ ability to communicate, and the problem is over reliance on texting, IMs, etc. I will not have a conversation with anyone over text, and if I give a guy my number and he texts me first without a close follow up call, it’s really not looking good for him. I’m not a fan of texting in general, so I don’t answer them most of the time.
I have used e-mail to make some points when, like you said, you’re at work and can’t work out the fight, but still I like to hear a persons’ voice, proper emotion cannot be expressed with an emoticon.
I love technology, I just hate the way we use it.
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This is the second week in a work where I can see this blog!!!!
Now to the topic at hand, I think that communication should be used to help sustain relationships but not as a crutch. I dont think me and the SO would be where we are without all this technology, however, we have to make sure that we dont just rely on it.
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ildolceamore Reply:
July 6th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I wrote a letter to your company, told them to stop tryna play my e-boo like that.
ex-e-boo maybe?
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Peyso was blocked from 3 ways for 2 weeks Reply:
July 6th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
u know u still my e-boo
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There are many pros/cons to textual communication. I think that when it comes to serious issues, there are times where you have to get the thought out and text is the best option. A lot of times its an easy out because you don’t want to speak face to face.
When you speak through text emotions can be misconstreud and you hear the person in a different voice/tone. This can cause more trouble than good, which is why I choose to call/speak face to face about serious issues.
Text is great for conversation throughout the day, especially when you’re at work, because you can build upon your connection with one another and keep all forms of comunication open
Great Post Miss Jenkins!
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Technology is wonderful but when partners spend more time sending text and IM’s and later cannot hold a face to face that relationship is headed nowhere fast. This is especially true with a new relationship. If I just met a woman and I only text her or vice a versa this is because I am probably hiding something or not really interested. Some of my friends only talk with their Jumpoffs via text because they don’t really have much to say. However as an intermediary text’s IM’s etc works great to lesson the tension for arguments throughout the day. There has been a few occasions when me and my Boo aaaaah, (Ghost) LOL, worked things out via text before we got home. I always feel like the worst is over so even if we are going to continue to argue I can easily suggest that we move on.
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THE GOOD:
You can set up a post-club coital rendevous in a moments notice.
Say sweet ish all day to her, that she can save and return to later…foreplay is a 24 hour process with women…
THE BAD:
Old Flames can have easy access to you without having to face the awkward moment of calling you after not talking for months and they aren’t sure if you still like them
People have yet another excuse to be anti-social in social settings.
THE UGLY:
chicks that don’t even have text messaging, wtf are you a floppy drive…they still make you?
People that you call and get a text back saying “what’s up?” with no explanation for not answering.
*disclaimer* i only do this if i cant take a phone call, but can text, in the current environment, like class, meetings, and the club
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i know for one i text a whole lot. somewhere in the neighborhood of 5K-7K a month according to my phone bill. i do pick up the phone and call people as well. its just easier for me to text.
i talk with the s/o throughout the day by gmail chat, msn messenger and text. its just easier that way. like two weeks ago i called her at the job just to chat and she was like “umm is something wrong? you’re calling me during the day.” lol. i guess i do need to do better.
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I am actually not big on talking on the phone until we’ve actually gotten to know one another.Awkward pauses are just…well… awkward.
In the initial dating phase, whenever possible, let’s meet for coffee or something like that.
Once all of that is out of the way, texting/ chatting/etc., is more than welcomed.
As for my girls, it really depends.. only one of my girls can keep me on the phone for HOURS laughing at her antics.. for everyone else, I’d prefer a text or a chat.
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Nothing compares to face time [pause]. I think people could unanimously agree.
The internet and wireless communication have pros and cons in relationships. My sanity is thankful that I can keep up with my boo when I’m hopping from state to state or galavanting abroad. In that regard technology is great, the person you miss is only as far as it takes for the phone to ring. Then there is video conferencing, cell phones, and real time messaging to satisfy a person’s emotional
and physicalneeds.But it is a curse at the same time. I wonder if my parents’ relationship lasted so long because they didn’t have 9 types of technology to make life even more complicated than it is.
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I use all the mediums of communication that are available. I prolly use the phone the least…but I’m working on that. When I ask “what’s for dinner later?” and the person responds with “yeah”, that means it’s time to pick up the phone.
Has anybody else had difficulty memorizing phone numbers? I’m awful. If I don’t have it saved in my phone, it’s a lost cause.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
July 6th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Word. If the number didn’t exist to me pre-2002, I don’t know it by heart.
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I’ve never been a big fan of the phone… but this may be because my mom got us the AOL 2.5 disk when I was like 12… I use technology to communicate a lot. Just the other day I was thinking there is this guy I’ve been conversing with back and forth for weeks and we only have each others facebook and BBMsgr info smh.. I’m tryin to do better though. But if I happen to meet someone online (yes it still happens) I don’t give them my # for fear of having to ask for it back. I will give them an email/screenname if they don’t graduate to a phone number that is their bidnassss… If I meet someone in person I’ll give them my number and if they text me first I don’t answer until they call. I don’t give them any of my online info.. they have plenty of time to learn about my little idiosyncracies later…
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Well.. with the current bf.. we NEVER .. I repeat NEVER talk on the phone (i’ve maybe talked to him twice.. once because he was in the grocery store getting something and needed a quick answer so he called. the 2nd time he didnt respond to my text fast enough so i called)
Anyway, this may not work for everyone but for us it works. We text and gchat all damn day. We probably talk more on chat than we would if we only talked on the phone. granted we see each other a lot but I like text based communication. it works for me. I gchat all my friends and never call them except for emergencies.. since all my friends have blackberries.
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