The League of Unextraordinary Women
She ain't got nuthin' on these women.
Last week’s guest post by Luvvie on the different flavors of men (pause) to stay away from was well-received. As a matter of fact, it was so well-received that I figured I needed to do a response post of sorts. This one is for the men…and the women who may not even know that they’re not-so-superheroes. I present to you a few members of the League of Unextraordinary Women—a collective of marginal and subpar villains and would-be heroes. Slim.Shows.No.Mercy.
The Unhollerable Heffa
This woman lurks in the streets of NYC and other major urban areas throughout the United States. You may find her in Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles, Miami, and the list goes on. She’s also commonly found at colleges and universities as well as night clubs. She is the chick that always assumes everyone is tryin’ to holler at her and mean mugs her way through life in an effort to ward off those who could honestly give 2 sh*ts about her existence. Her appearance is usually smedium at best. This pseudo-villain often misconstrues friendliness with holler attempts. Her obvious weapon is her face, which also happens to be her tragic flaw.
The Do Her Do Gooder
This woman is a hero to some and a villain to others. She may also be known as “The Mask”. She is the one who proceeds to engage in promiscuous and highly questionable behavior under the guise of “I’m doin’ me.” As mentioned in a previous post over at SBM, she isn’t just doin’ her, she’s doin’ him, him, him, and him. This woman often lacks personal accountability and can often appear delusional. Her quest for control over her life often backfires in the process. She tries to act like a man even though her anatomy doesn’t match. She is oh so simple, yet so damn complex.
The Crippling Criticizer aka The Judge
Again, this is another marginally attractive woman. She tends to lurk between a 4 and a 7 on the I‘d Do Her Scale. She is the one that always has a critique or criticism of somebody else. She needs little more than a few seconds to find fault with or judgment of someone regardless of gender. Her influence on her friends is often strong, as she can talk one of her girls out of a perfectly good man with her skillful and potent criticisms. She is either loved or hated with very little room for middle ground. This woman may also have inner turmoil that rarely, if ever, gets discussed.
The Prodigal Promiscuist
This one is easy…literally. This is the woman that engages in scandalous activity 6 days a week with an emphasis on Friday and Saturday night, then assumes that all is washed clean because she wakes up on Sunday morning to go to church. It’s almost as if Sunday is dirty laundry day and then the slate is clean for another week of recklessness. She speaks the good name of the lord regularly, but her actions most certainly don’t match. It is important to mention her close relatives: The Godly Gossiper, The A$$hole Apostle, and Judah the Judgmental (sibling of The Criticizer).
The Pseudo Celeb
This is the high maintenance woman that walks around with an err of excessive confidence. She is always dressed to the flyest even in situations where she needs to just chill the f*ck out and relax. She has a knack for finding herself in the presence of professional athletes, musicians, or actors. She may range from average to high attractiveness. She lives off her looks and presents an image of being extra classy and glamorous. The term Diva comes to mind for this time, but it’s not necessarily accurate as that term is reserved for the Mariah Carey’s, Mary J.’s, and even Beyonce’s of the world. This title would also require talent. Had her father’s sperm landed on a different egg, she very well may have just come out smedium.
The Leech Lady
Simple. She’s the gold digger that uses a man for material gain and nothing more. The most skilled of leeches manage to suck money out of a man’s wallet without suckin’ much of anything else. Enough said.
The Gumby Gal aka The Hypocritical Heffa
This one is a beast, as she is nearly ubiquitous. In her mind, the rules don’t apply to her. She’s allowed to do and say as she pleases and bend whatever rules do exist as she sees fit. But if anybody else follows those same actions, they are somehow in the wrong and worthy of name calling and reckless hate. This may be the most common type of unextraordinary woman out there. She is unavoidable and often goes by the title of girlfriend, significant other, or boo.
Now that I’ve probably made a few enemies, I wanna open the floor for discussion. What does everyone think of this list? Any additions from the men? Any dissent, co-signage, or thoughts from the ladies? C’mon, you know you wanna…
No Misogyny & Yes, Shots Fired,
225 Responses to “The League of Unextraordinary Women”
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None of these describe me. Likewise, this list lacks depth.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:17 am
None of these describe you? Well maybe that means you’re a superhero. As for this post lacking depth, I think quite the opposite. It’s easy to pick away at the surface things like a woman’s hair, make up, style of shoes, body composition, etc. I’d be curious to know what you think is missing…other than the actual superheroes.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:35 am
I’m no superhero, but none of the descriptions in the post fit me.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
U mad?!!!
They NOT suppose to fit you if you not a negative person…lol
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Why would I be mad?
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Rox is busy, but... Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
LMAO I’m sorry. I think it’s funny that ur bothered that u don’t fit any of the above descriptions. It’s a GOOD thing hunnie.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I’m not bothered by it.
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Mc Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
soooo chick.. r u really mad?!?!? as a fellow woman I am honestly confused, and ur need for attack?
Are u saying u r another kind of undesirable woman???
Maybe the i need attention i’m going to act a fool on a blog chick?
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BlueFlame Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
LMAO! Mc u a mess!
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Eh, no. Your analysis is quite wrong. My response is actually quite tame compared to others.
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I’ll take the admission of shots fired as the invitation to shoot back…
Boooooo Mr. Jackson. Boooo!
No disrespect on the great command of the English Language and Eloquence exhibited in producing this post, but…
I dare say that you have gone too far. It is one thing to say that a dude in a Dirty White Tee with Weave Braids is hard to take seriously, but to say that a woman with insecurities is what? Not fit to inhabit the Earth? Not worth your time? The bane of the male existence? Villains? Really, Mr. Jackson?
Last week, we established that Financially Sound women are not allowed to also possess emotions. Now we are stating that Financially Unsound women are not allowed to have pride. I am a little confused, but before I go on, I would LOVE to know the
non-existenttype of woman the ThreeWays fellas feel is a relevant creature in the human population.While you work on that I will prepare an additional comment to Luvvie’s Post on Men Who Have Unrealistic Expectations to Hide Their Own Insecurities/Commitment Issues/General Uselessness. (In case you missed it… that was a shot.)
And did you just call your boo Gumby?!?!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:10 am
I’ll gladly tell you what type of woman I think is a “relevant creature” in the human population. You, as well as some of the other folks reading this, might actually be surprised. I’ve also seen the other post that you speak of regarding the correlation between men’s preferences and their insecurities. Just as you think I went too far, I think that’s a correlation that’s overused and abused when there’s no other obvious explanation or liking of a man’s particular standards or expectations.
Oh yeah… so when you say “relevant creature”, are you talking about in the context of a relationship, or in general? Let me know and I’ll write a post about it…Just.For.You. I say that with love and admiration.
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Mr. Jackson, it’s your post. I am assuming that you would never consider The Judge, Unhollerable Heffa, The Do Her Do Gooder or the SuperFriends Godly Gossiper and A$$hole Apostle dating material. So I figured you meant in life. But I am open to either interpretation.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:23 am
“but to say that a woman with insecurities is what? Not fit to inhabit the Earth? Not worth your time? The bane of the male existence? Villains? Really, Mr. Jackson?”
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Slim was not trying to say that these women shouldn’t be on this here Earf. However I must concur that insecure (men and) women are also the bane of my existence. Hell I have been the bane of my own as a result of insecurities. But folks who externalize their insecurities by being ugly toward other people i.e. the judging broad he mentions, or the broad who mean mugs her way through the skreets don’t make things easier for anyone.
Stay tuned for a post about her…
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I admit that that was a bit of an insomnia induced hyperbole on my part. Yes, these women make life hard for the well intentioned, but who is to say that their intentions aren’t pure as well?
I’d love to banish some of these women to the far corners of the Earth, but with them would go all of my 9 Aunties, save one. Both of my Grandmothers and several of my friends…
But hey, at least I would still have my Moms.
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Peyso Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:47 am
All u need is Mama…..
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Rox is busy, but... Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I concur 100%. These chicks exist & need to be checked, whether insecure or not. Grown folks, male or female, have little excuse. Sucks that women can be so insecure, & I have pity on them because I’ve had insecure moments myself, but luckily I’m also adept enough to recognize it & snap myself back into reality. But like I said, that’s still not an excuse & men (nobody, for that matter) should have to put up with it.
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You have GOT to start meeting a better class of woman. Or as you sometimes say… WDDDA (Where Dey Do Dat At)?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:12 am
I have met a better class of women. They are the superheroes. I would have talked about them today, but well…you know how it is in the blogosphere. People don’t read that type of stuff. lol @ wddda
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Jeez… all these “you just need to find a better man” comments weren’t around last week!
I Co-sign the list. To be honest, 70% of woman probably fall some how into this list.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:06 am
And 95% of the women in NYC
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
All women in NYC are the greatest.
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Rox is busy, but... Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
CHeeKZ baby I did write that last week, in response TO YOU
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
thank u Roxy……… i think.
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Rox loves CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
lol… I wouldn’t steer u wrong.
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LOL! I knew this was coming. What took you so long?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:57 am
lol. This post has been written for a few days. I was just waiting for my posting day to put it up.
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I guess I can relate to this post. We all have known at least one of these types. Thank God that these types of “exceptions” are not the rule. Love me with my flaws and all
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I love my sistas but you need to add the following:
1. Mamacita with Daddy Issues;
2. Smothering Sally
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:28 am
3. Crazy Ladi
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
YES!!!! That one works too!
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
4. Stalker
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I think this post is fantastically written (no bias here). I have to be honest and say that, while I wasn’t the full-fledged “Unhollerable Heffa,” I did have a mean, mean-muggin game.
I’m from Miami: While this may not be the case everywhere, nine times out of ten, dudes are tryna holla—doesn’t matter how good or how busted you look. And nine times out of ten, they’re downright disrespectful. So yea, I walked down the street armed with a fierce mean-mug because I just didn’t feel like dealing with it. And then I got called a b*tch cuz I didn’t give the dude with the gold teeth and cockroach braids the time of day when he “psssst” at me, saying “wassup, lil red, come ova here and lemme pinch that fine a$$” the time of day.
If this still qualifies me as the Unhollerable Heffa, in the words of Redman, I’ll bee dat! lol
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I still have a mean mugging game and it’s because them dudes I dont’ want hollering at me ALWAYS DO… and sometimes I just don’t feel like speaking to people! lol
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Exactly! Why are you tryna holla, and you’re clearly homeless?! No, sorry, I’m not going to smile and indulge you. Stop.It.
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:38 am
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how me being this person (I Admit It!) hurts anybody else.
I’m just tired of being hollered at by the 5 foot 7, 42 year old (usually Greek) dude with the beer belly and gray haired goatee, driving a 96 Honda. So over it.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:00 am
What if he just wants some directions?!
Or the time?
Its like you can’t even look a female’s way without her looking at you like a perv.
You are not the only woman left on earth. You aint Queen Elizabeth. You aint above talking to some one.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Several weeks ago a man wanted to ask me what time it was, except he practically started running after me saying “Hey, hey, hey!”
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Also, what is with certain men and women using the word “Female” when the words woman or girl would better suffice?
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:09 am
lmao…
**Omar Gooding in Baby Boy voice***
B/C you Females be some Unstable Creatures. I aint even going to say the B word, so I’ma call you some Unstable Creatures.
How you going to get mad at me for calling a gender by its sex?
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"Just cuz I'm nice..." Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Actually, CHeeKZie, often times an “I’m fine, how are you,” a smile, or even eye contact gives a HELL of a lot of u mens the “go ahead & GO IN!!!” signal. How u explain that? I consider myself a friendly person; I like acknowledging ppl. I think it’s rude when I see chicks ignore men BUT men need to CHILL! Be content with the “Hi” let go… NO, I’m NOT giving u my number.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Let’s assume for today that the men who visit this site are not thirst buckets.lol. Actually, I’m pretty sure that all the men who visit this site are not thirst buckets.
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
But you are suffering due to the broader population of your brethren, Home-Bucket.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
CO-Signizzes for Still Water and Slim.
Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Or the guy that says “How you doin’, Lightskin”.
Or the guy that never introduces himself, but thinks it is okay for him to ask you your relationship status before they ask you for your name.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Word, Erin. Usually when they use the word “female”, it is with some venom. I’ve never heard a man use the word female while saying something nice about her. lol
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Exactly. And I’ve tried to walk down the street and smile and speak to people but it never stops there!!! NEVER.. my sucess rate is 0% so I’m just nasty initially.
If someone speaks, I don’t igg them, but if I sense it’s not genuine, then my reply back is not very cordial.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Thats cause you actin light skinnedededed
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Streetz: OOOHHH I hate that term. I will e-kick you in the nutz!
and lol. bc I know you are fycking with me.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Do u hate it bec u act like it lips? smfh….
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Play nicely now. Don’t wanna have to drag anybody ass out the sandbox.
Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:29 am
“Exactly! Why are you tryna holla, and you’re clearly homeless?! ”
LOL. I’ve noticed they have the most balls than anyone. One offered to take me to dinner. It took everything inside of me not to utter, “Um…how are ya gonna pull that off, honey?” I just laughed and walk away.
Or the ones who take one nice gesture and run with it. One man says, “God Bless You” to people that pass him and I said, “You too” and he’s like, “You the first person that said that to me! Where you from? Can I get your number?”. LMAO…boo boo, payphones are about to be 100% obsolete so again I ask…”How?”.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Exactly!
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Right. Street harassment is a real problem in a lot of major cities.
“This pseudo-villain often misconstrues friendliness with holler attempts” – Quite often men will use “friendliness” to put them in a position to “holler” at a woman.
There is a difference between staring a woman down and then saying “Hey, how you doin’ baby?!” and just generally passing a woman on the street or in a store and just saying “Hi!”. Most men I have encountered do the former.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Be sure to check out my post on this Monday. lol.. I address this.
I wrote it this morning bc I was pissed about one who’d gotten to me on my way to work.
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MaPockets Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Yessssss!! I, too, have experienced this before. A conspicuously homeless man once hollered at me on the street.
“Hey, sexy…wanna go half on a baby?”
!!!!
MY FACE = complete and utter disgust combined with shock and disbelief, served on a bed of sauteed Oh No You Didn’t and sprinkled with Maybe I Should Yell Fire and Run Far Far Away…with a side of the PMS Monsta venom from I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.
My response was simple.
“But where would the three of us live?”
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Berriblk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Preach!
I’m from Miami as well and walking home everyday from middle, high…shit elementary school even has built up that mean mug for sure. It has its purpose and it has served its purpose, maybe all too well. When I went away to college and the mean mug kept getting me the “unapproachable” tag line I tried my darnedest to let it go (still trying… and still being judged before getting to know me).
I still don’t see the point in walking around [alone] with a smile on your face, thats just ridiculous!
You all know you give those street brothas an inch and they’ll take a mile. You’ll have rocks being thrown at you (true story) or being called an “ugglass bitch, ain’t wantchu nan way”.
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Dimples Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:26 am
As someone from LI where there really isn’t anyone to mean mug, you quickly learn to mean mugg when you are in a city because if you don’t you attract unwanted attention and people feel as though they can follow you and try to spit game.
I was talking to my friend who just moved up here from Mississippi and she said she learned within the first week of living in the city that in order to get through the streets of NY without too much harassment, you have to have a mean mug because people will either know you aren’t from here or feel like its ok to invade your personal space. So I think its ok to be a mean mugger.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
If you or your gf from Mississippi have a fat arse that you are not entitled to any personal space. For the good of the mental health of all black men in NYC we are allowed to get a feel as you walk by.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
LMBO.. MEN!
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
You know whats funny? in NYC we hip to the mean mug game so if you cute with a stank face, dudes will go IN!!!!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Yeah, the mean mug is regular in the city. lol
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I sorely do not believe any female that says…”Thank God I don’t fall in any of these areas”.
LOL…There could be pieces of you that falls in if not one but 2 of these catergories.
With my feet on the desk, I’m strongly applauding Action Jackson’s post…lol!
Peace during the NFL/College FB/Madden Season,
-BBW
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
“I sorely do not believe any female that says…”Thank God I don’t fall in any of these areas”. ”
I’ll give ya that we’ll probably have bits and pieces of this list, but, baby this is a list of SEVEN identities! And all these women that frequent here? We gotta all fit into a box of seven identities? We women are varied. You gotta add about 50-leven more to the list before you describe all of us complex creatures.
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Super Rox ;-) Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Love, nobody is perfect. The way we deal with our flaws is what makes a person a superhero or not. I’ve seen a lot of the characteristics that Slim has discussed here in a LOT of MEN too so I find it funny that u find it funny LOL. U just might be guilty of some of’em as well – how can we know for sure???
True, Slim wasn’t lying – these chicks exist, but unfortunately, perfect ones just don’t.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
“perfect ones just don’t.”
CHeeKIe is E-perfect.
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Rox loves CHeeKZ but... Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
no u ain’t
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“CHeeKIe is E-perfect.”
Aw, thanks e-honeybun. At first, I thought that was an L, but it’s a capitalized ‘I’. I was gonna be all, “Who the eff is cheekle? Thought you were e-creepin’ for a sec…lol
Rox, yes I am.
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Rox can admit when she's wrong Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Awwww, lol, I thought CHeeKZ was talking about himself. I mis-read, my b CHeeKIe! I apologize. If CHeeKZ of all ppl thinks ur E-perfect then u probably are.
right back atcha.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Yeah, I had to laugh at it because I, like you, initially mis-read it as him talking about himself, too (wouldn’t be a surprise…haha). Then, I did a double-take and like I said above, I thought the I was a lowercase L. lol
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LOL some women can dish but cannot take…….wack brawds are in abundance just like wack dudes, cept alot of times bama a s s chicks get a limited pass, cause a dude will still tap that a s s *irregardless* LMAO..for a short min anyway
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I think most of these women can be summed up in one word: insecure. Its sad what our society has done to the confidence (and false confidence) of women in general.
Allow me to add an important exclusion: The Theatrical Tragegy.
This is the woman who thinks all other women are out to get her or her man. When she’s single, all she does is talk about how all the good men are gay or taken by white or latina women. If she sees a white girl at a black club, she will usually make a stank @$$ comment out her neck with the assumption that the white girl won’t do anything about it. If she’s in a relationship, she doesn’t want her man to so much as look at a picture of kim kardashian cuz she thinks it’ll mean he’ll leave her for one. When her man does step out (after being accused of it anyway), she blames the other woman for being a “ho” instead of the man or – God forbid – herself. She is the epitome of insecurity and the bane of my existence.
Yes I want your man, girl, and if you yap off at me again I’m gonna take him into the bathroom stall and eff him and his boy because that’s what us white girls do best!!!!! =D Enjoy the taste of my coots!
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:02 am
This:
“I’m gonna take him into the bathroom stall and eff him and his boy because that’s what us white girls do best!!!!! Enjoy the taste of my coots!”
is stank. I understand you’re being sarcastic, but, um….yeah it’s just a little crass. I enjoy raunchy language as much as the next gal, but spare us the visual. Please and thank you.
*shudders*
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Actually I’ma need a bit more on the visual…
1. Is this a bathroom w/ mad stalls or a private stall?
2. Are you wearing a skirt or jeans?
3. Is there any time for a mouth hug, or is this all ugly bumpin?
4. Heels or flats?
5. How flexible are you?
6. In the event it’s a non-private stall, will you keep rockin if someone walks in?
7. Had you been drinking/puffin herb prior to this semi-public spelunking?
8. Are you going to “hide the evidence”?
Answer in any particular order you see fit.
White women – pissin’ sistas off since the suffrage movement. God Bless them, the great state of NY, the New York Yankees, the New York Football Giants, the World Champion Lakers of Los Angeles, Triple H, and these Great United States of America (except new england of course).
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:59 am
RCLS – put the lotion down and step away from the screen! Although the white girl language was incendiary, it’s the “I’ll sleep with your man because you looked at me wrong” that indicates a lack of self respect and general skankness. Take a lesson from Salt N Peppa – they’ll TAKE your man, not just do him in a stinky stall!
If you’ll “do” a guy in the bathroom because a girl looked at you greasy, what *won’t* you do?
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Hmmm…did you put salt in your coffee this morning instead of sweet n low, or is this your normal sodium content?
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Ummm… RCLS, Anna Nimous makes a GREAT point! She ain’t being salty – I COULD turn it around & accuse u of “assuming” her comment was stank just b/c she challenged Joey. Here we go again, right? Always gotta be coined “angry” or “salty” just cuz we don’t agree with or take offense to what the white ppl say…
Joey simply showed us all yet another, & excellent I might add, example of an undesirable women. Thanks, girl!
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I just don’t understand how out of all the comments that have been made on this site, that Joey’s gets the crass/stank label. Let’s be real and call it what it was, a pot shot @ a white girl. And that’s cool, I’m not here to defend, just instigate.
@ Anna- If she’s doing your man in a stall, trust, he’s already been taken.
Back @ Roxie – Yea, you could accuse me of whatever you like, but I’d just delete it because a) I have the power, b) I’m 10 and c) I’m petty.
And thank you to you both for giving us excellent examples of why black men are running into white women’s arms like it was the Gold Rush again.
Now y’all done effed up and scared shorty away from answering my questions.
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
“And thank you to you both for giving us excellent examples of why black men are running into white women’s arms like it was the Gold Rush again.”
You’re running into their arms because their legs are wide open.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
We did not scare shorty away – she’s still busy servicing your friend (cuz she’s got both of you in this cramped azz stall). When she’s finished hiding his evidence she’ll get to you. Let’s hope she decides to gargle in between.
When have any of the women who frequent this site issued threats that if another woman looks at them funny, she’ll immediately have sex with him and his friend. In the bathroom. And make this other woman “taste her coot”. As much as I enjoy a little sexual exploration, revenge whoring is not where it’s at.
And it’s not a white woman thing. Some of my best friends are white. Take that, take that!
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
“Some of my best friends are white. Take that, take that!”
Spoken like a true racist, lmaooo
seriosuly tho, shorty did come on here wildin out. However ppl have said worse n not goteen roasted(english fail i kno)
Is it bec shes a woman or bec she lives at 2520 Becky Blvd?
Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Nothing to do with her race – more of a “woman to woman” thing. Everything was cool till Cap’n Save ‘Em flew in.
Oh, and this:
2525 Becky Blvd
*dead*
RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Anna,
What’s your point, my accountant is jewish and I have yet to be invited over for a seder dinner.
And I don’t think she was actually threatening anyone on this site per se. More of a euphamism if you will.
Let’s call it for what it was, it’s cuz she lives at 2520 Becky Blvd (yea, that’s not racist streetz lol)
@ Terri,
Let’s keep it 100, there are certain sistas out there that are as quick to jump if not quicker than certain white women when it comes to buddy luvvin.
Rox has yet to send a black man runnin...away ;-) Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
“And thank you to you both for giving us excellent examples of why black men are running into white women’s arms like it was the Gold Rush again.”
Annnnnnnnnnd what were those examples? Please, explore those for me. I’m utterly confused, RCLS, & as I’m in the middle of a take-home exam, I’m in the mood to be educated.
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
& y r y’all running? dudes tryin to duck & hide b/c they’re ashamed of their lame ass excuses? u can walk. a man who justifies playin in the 2520 pool by putting their sistas down has nothin to fear. I’ll just speak for myself & say that if a man falls under that category he def isn’t for me anyway. Beckies can HAVE HIM!!! so walk! u won’t look as desperate.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
*chuckles*
You said it right, Rox. How I got called salty for pointing out some truly ho-rific behavior, I don’t know, lol.
*singing* Don’t save ‘em, they don’t wanna be saved…
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Yo im laughin profusely on the inside right now.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:51 am
yeah I mean.. RCLS is right. She really didn’t OD.
We don’t even know if the angry black girl is tasting the cooch off the boyfreind eating the white jawn down in the bathroom than kissing his gf without brushing his teeth OR is the black girl tasting the white cooch from sucking off her man (something the white jawn probably did better) without him showering.
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Peyso Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:58 am
This is my first post from the new computer. The old one was ruined when I spat water all over it. Yep, our IT unit moves fast
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Cheekz, you’re the king of OD’ing. You just want company in your “Now you’ve gone too far” corner.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:57 am
LMAO!
when you are right Anna, you are right.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I guess I’m a little unclear as to why what was clearly sarcasm should be “called out” at all though…
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
that’s what i thought when i first read it. hell, i’ve written and said thing just like that. but then again, i’ve been quasi attacked b/c of it, too. sarcasm is wasted on some folks.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
I’m really not trying to belabor the point, but sarcasm isn’t so easy to spot, especially in written form. There’s no voice indication to go along with it. I guess that’s how my very tongue in cheek “Some of my best friends are white.” statement had RCLS talkin bout his accountant and seder, lol.
That being said, I understood that she was being sarcastic but I was a little uncomfortable with the language and I expressed my opinion. My reaction was visceral – Enjoy the taste of my coot? WDDDA? How this got turned into a “Y’all are just picking on the white woman!” thing – I don’t know.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Yo… LMAO atthis whole thread.
Anna felt offended by the comments and she commented… if joey wants to give neck in a bathroom stall more power to her, but she leaves herself to criticism.
Now, whats good with some pics? im bored
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
It’s RCLS’s fault.
& I’m done. Gnight loves!
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Do you girl. Just make sure they the ugly ones, though.
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Joey Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
W-O-W. Some points, if I may.
#1. W-O-W again.
#2. I didn’t respond all this time because the 3 ways site doesn’t allow for Re: from my mobile phone, which is the only place I can get on here from work.
#3. Yeah, I guess “sarcasm” is not an acceptable form of communication on this site.
#4. I see there are a lot of Theatrical Tragedies out there who felt I hit a little too close to home with these comments, and felt the need to make this about ME, when it was actually about YOU.
#5. I don’t think I was THAT OD. I mean, I could have been far more ignorant (and in fact, at first, I was, but then changed it so as to not offend our sensitive readers… but I guess there are some even more sensitive people than I thought).
#6. It was a joke… clearly I’m not gonna put myself out there like that except for comedic purposes or to prove a point. Allow me to put TMI out there for yall speculators. I haven’t had sex in 3 years, and I plan on keeping it that way til marriage. Sorry to disappoint, RCLS & Cheekz. You might could still get a mouth hug out of me if you’re on your best behavior.
#7. That last comment was also a joke. I see that I have to state that after every hint of sarcasm now.
#8. I find it funny that *men* can make far more ridiculous comments and no one says anything to them, but because I’m a girl (and a white girl at that), I get called all kinds of names outside my own. It’s JOEY. Get to know me before you start your “Crippling Criticizing”.
#9 (and perhaps most hilarious of all). I’m not white. Not a part of me is white. Not half white. My Daddy isn’t white. My Mama isn’t white. I don’t have white people in my family. My neighbors aren’t white. I don’t even think white people live in my whole building.
#10. Not that my race matters anyway… It just proves my point that Tragic women are the bane of my existence!
Have a nice day, ladies.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
::Scoots out from my desk, stands up out of seat and begins the slow clap::
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
now… are these sarcastic slow claps? just an’t tell the difference nemore – u need to slap a disclaimer on that
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I think they’re insecure slow claps
j/k
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
* joins Seattle in slow clap *
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RealTalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
“…because that’s what us white girls do best!!!!! =D Enjoy the taste of my coots!”
Joey, Joey, Joey. YES, please use a disclaimer or a “jk” if ur tryin to be sarcastic on the blog from here on out. Race doesn’t matter, not really, but u identified urself as WHITE homegirl!!! That there quote was taken directly from ur post, hun.
This whole thread is tragic…& u started it. POW!
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Joey Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Ummm I definitely insulted white girls in that statement (by saying they sleep around best), while “so-called” identifying myself as a white girl… So I thought that it was clear that I was just joking… But I guess I’m supposed to spell it out.
And also, tragic deez. =P
Oh, and even though I said “deez”, I’m not a guy and don’t actually have nuts. So let me disclaimer: J/K EVERYBODY!!!
Thanks Seattle and NIA anyway. =P
Let’s move on to the next topic…
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Maybe its time to set some ThreeWays lingo. There are people in here from all across the continent and India! I still haven’t figure out what a “jawn” is, I had to UrbanDictionary “2520″ and some blogsphere acronyms are way over my head.
But I definitely texted somebody today like “Yo… whyte gurl is wildin out on ThreeWays…”
Guess we could have just clicked on the link to your blog tho…
So disclaimers are important. When I moved to NC from NY, some of their sarcasm almost had me slapping co-workers. They still have to tell me… “Still! I’m just kidding! Loosen up!”
Salaam Folks.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I dunno… She didn’t OD. Others did. And what’s worse…people acknowledged her sarcasm.
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Nah, like a lotta other folks round here, I don’t buy that. For it to be taken “so far outa context” by educated folk?…she def OD’d.
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I didn’t say she ODed. I’m saying that I was in the camp of people who didn’t know she was being sarcastic.
I’m a little slow like that sometimes.
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
& I back u up Still Water… we really don’t need to place blame on either side. In bloggington u have to be clear (or prepared to take hits)
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I’m really not trying to instigate, but I just can’t help myself today!
Slow claps? “Gettem!?” 2520s are hella good for insulting themselves, so ur explanation really isn’t a disqualifying statement. ::shoulder shrug::
& this thread got all bursty b/c somebody thought ur statement (joke or not) was crude, especially b/c it was coming from a lady. Personally, I’m glad to see some ppl still hold women to higher standards
Moral of the story: be clear or get roasted! Today’s post was just classic!!! Haha
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
::right fist in air::
GET EM! I knew you would come through and ‘xplain yo self…though you didn’t really need to…but still. Drinks later?
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gem_n_i Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
hahahahaha. i was originally gonna comment to defend my girl Joey and her sarcasm that seems to be flying over heads left and right today, but she beat me to it. geez, it wasn’t that serious. it never is. double standards, insecurities (yes, she would probably really take your man and do him in the bathroom….”j/k”) and inability to decipher clear sarcasm have thoroughly entertained me for the day. thank you, thank you all!
tuning in tomorrow, but currently jammin to “i’ll take ur man” as my throwback for the day
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This is why Joey doesn't mess with women like that Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Thanks Gem for taking a break from studying about the vas deferens and coming out of the blog-reader-not-commenter closet to defend me. I love you too, boo. Being that you’re the ONLY person on this site who actually knows me, you know that that’s just how I talk. Most people (women especially) just don’t get it, which is why I tend to have mostly male friends. Cuz I keep it raw (pause) and don’t give a eff.
I’m sorry if my definition of being a “lady” is based on one’s actions and not her words… Blame my mother for being a vulgar, sarcastic, LADY.
That’s why this site is meant to be fun and judgment-free… whomp whomp.
Sowhatiff, I’ll meet you for drinks in an hour. Bring your man and his friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Yo,
Everyone do me a favor: STOP BITCHIN!!!
This list got EMO real quick, and didnt this Roo to the good bruhz ninja Slim or that Blue Juice lookin ass ninja Seattle write about that? People get too emotional over f*ckin comments.
Guidelines?!! Criteria?! Specify by saying JK?! GTFOH!
Dont be mad because some got exposed on the low when yall thought she was of the clearer skin persuasion! We grown lets call a spade a spade and not renig!
If yall goto nahright.com check THAT comment section. Some of yall don’t know what “affected” means!
Now having said that, Im bout to tear NYC down on a Wed courtesy of the NYCTwitterParty crew.
Lighten up my people
**No shots were fired in the writing of this comment**
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Rox can't stop won't stop Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I just can’t keep my mouth shut 2night…
1) The homies are gonna “get” the jokes – u have the advantage of being in the “know”
2) The homies obviously can’t be impartial & recognize how other ppl may not. Don’t act like it’s other ppls fault they didn’t “get” the “joke”
This thread is an excellent case & point.
Ain’t nobody upset b/c they thought Joey was white & found out she’s actually not. Big whoop. Not everybody personally knows her & the notion that she could’ve been a white girl was a safe assumption like RealTalk said. I went to a PWI, I heard white girls dis themselves & think they cute for it on the regular… but I digress b/c that’s totally not the point – ppl have failed to see the bigger picture.
Dish it out, take hits, make a rebuttle, take more hits, get offended, blame everybody else for not “getting” it, get defended by the homies… tis the nature of the blog world loves! If u can’t handle it then u best throw that disclaimer right on up there cuz ppl r gonna come after u… & unless they’re ur friends, won’t sympathize with u after the fact.
In bloggington ppl can only assume & sometimes things get poppin!!! like they did 2day, keeping me highly amused I might add. But at about the 5th comment on the thread or so, ppl weren’t even talkin about our dear girl nemore. So yeah, I think it’s fair to say “next topic” too, entropy has a way of takin it there, all on it’s own, neway.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
I stayed out of this thread for most of the day for a reason. I’d just like to say that I found today’s discussion to be extremely interesting. The day started with dissent on my post, followed by laughter from women who didn’t take offense, followed by additions to the list I presented, followed by reckless comments, followed by people attacking and throwing around the insecurity issue.
I’m amongst those who knew the whole time that Joey isn’t white. And from what I could see, most of the people commenting in this thread have been reading here for some time. To some degree, I feel like people should know her better than that by now. Folks really need to relax and take some of the ish written with a grain of salt. It’s a damn blog, a great blog, but a blog nonetheless. No reason for the explosion…unless it’s in a bedroom.
What I find to be most interesting is that the post was about unextraordinary women and provided an opportunity for the superheroes or whatever you wanna call them to unite, provide feedback, etc. But instead, it turned into somewhat of a war between a few folks…mainly women. I’m also still trying to figure out if the bigger deal was that Joey made a raunchy comment or the fact that she associated a race with it? I know I’ve seen a few folks here talk about getting some D or sitting on a man’s face and nobody even flinched at that.
Moving forward though, I think we all need to take a chill pill and if there is a question just ask the person for clarity. This community, yes community, is getting larger
than my pieceeveryday and I think we’re gonna need to establish some common ground moving forward. Last thing I wanna do is lose readers and have people going to sleep at night teary eyed because they got bodied in the comments on 3 Wayseven though I’ll be sitting at home laughing.With that said, much shout outs and appreciation to the folks that participated today and made this the greatest traffic day ever on the site. There was a point where I forgot I even wrote a post because I was enjoying the comments so much. Nonetheless, we shall move on. And if you haven’t voted for us yet in the finals, vote damn it.lol. That is all.
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LilBrownSkin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
:::insert Dreamgirls music here::: “We are a family, like a giant tree…”
LOL
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Rox Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
so cute
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 8:52 am
omg i hate that song.lol
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LilBrownSkin Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 9:09 am
lmao…me too!!
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
F*CK THAT SENSITIVE THUGS NEED HUGS!!!
Slim I feel you but FCK that!
Slim: Streetz Thats too far nIKKA!
Me: Deference
Slim: You aint a bruh tho
Me: Potato Potahtoe
Slim: You drunk?
Me: Nah man I got a point let me rock!!
On the REAL THOUGH!! Slim said it best.
Lighten up ya ninjas!
*this might offend my political connect UGHHH**
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This is why Joey doesn't mess with women like that Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
I give free (mouth) hugs!!! Who’s the sensitive thug??
eff a disclaimer!!!!
=)
my friends weren’t the only ones who understood me, Dr. Rox. I only have one friend here anyway!
Everybody say IIIIIIIIIIIIIII aM EvErYdAy PeOpLE!!!!!!!!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 1:49 am
Wait…. so there aint a white girl giving head in a bathroom stall tonight?!?
I don’t see what the big deal was…. y’all never heard of ATM?
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 27th, 2009 at 9:54 am
We lose again Cheekz. We lose again.
Slim, your post was funny. I won’t get on you because you have some decent points – maybe these are women that men hate to see coming (but I doubt it because many men scoop up these badly behaved women). But here are the women who really get on other women’s nerves:
- The C*ck Blocker: she is The Judge, but really, her judgements are just the method to achieve her motive: to block her friends from talking to men and keep them single. We all have had to save a girlfriend from a troll. But if she’s saving you from Morris Chestnut you need to punch that girl in the throat.
- The Frienemy: you can always tell her your troubles. She’s got the best ear, and will give you good solid advice when you’re feeling down or are going through a hard time. She’s the queen of the pick-me-up. But if you’re already up, watch out. She loves to comfort, but she’s really not rooting for you to succeed. Out come the snide comments, backhanded compliments and warnings not to get too far ahead of yourself – misery is just around the corner. Again, throat punch.
- Ms. Jealous of Your Man: We’ve all been in a position where a friend gets a man and falls off the face of the earth. While it’s not a best practice, be a friend and forgive her. She’s smitten. If she’s rude about it…fine, drop her. But no one in a (good) relationship wants to feel like they have to choose between their friends or their man. Stop being a baby and be happy for your friend.
- Ms. Too Friendly With Your Man: It’s great that you get along. But if I catch you looking too long and cheesing too hard….you’re violating all kinds of girlfriend laws and general woman laws. Break the glass and open the emergency can of WhoopAZZ. Try not to catch a case.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:03 am
You my freind… are good.
CO-Sign.
Great Villians from a woman’s perspective.
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Rox is laughing... Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
cuz these chicks are def out there too
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:15 am
LOL. I know a chick that has been every one of these chicks at different times in life. She’s a friend that I keep at arms length.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I am digging the additions.. good job!
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
- The C*ck Blocker: she is The Judge, but really, her judgements are just the method to achieve her motive: to block her friends from talking to men and keep them single. We all have had to save a girlfriend from a troll. But if she’s saving you from Morris Chestnut you need to punch that girl in the throat.
**Can I tell you these chicks should be burned, stoned and shot on site?! I HATE THOSE BROADS!!**
- Ms. Too Friendly With Your Man: It’s great that you get along. But if I catch you looking too long and cheesing too hard….you’re violating all kinds of girlfriend laws and general woman laws. Break the glass and open the emergency can of WhoopAZZ. Try not to catch a case.
**funny you should mention this. At SBM I just wrote a post on Friend vs S/O boundaries: http://www.singleblackmale.net/2009/08/26/whose-gonna-check-me-boo
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
i read your post on SBM in google reader since my job is blogblocking. anyway, good post.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
THank u dear. The Internets is hatin on us
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good list lol.
based on this list the one that irks me the most is the unhollerable heffa. most times she has no reason to act the way she does. i don’t know if her daddy told her she was the ish often growing up but someone lied to her. it really bothers me when women mistake a man being kind for them trying to holla. you ain’t THAT good looking for every man to want to get at you.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Now and days a woman doesn’t have to be good looking. If it resembles a woman then men will follow.
I’ve seen men stare down women that actually turned out to be trannies. They see the butt pads and it is over and done!
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Tunde Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:44 am
i don’t know what type of men you encounter but i need a woman to be good looking. a pretty face trumps a banging body all day in my book. smh. i don’t do butter faces.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Women have faces?
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
CHeeKZ,
I know you’re already in the corner by now, but go further into the corner. lol
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Theoretically.
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Tunde Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
rotflamo
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Anger Management Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Yall are a trip LMAO
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Of course you don’t know because you don’t see the interactions first hand.
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I admit to being an unhollerable heffa, not so much now, but that was me every darn day in Atlanta. Not so much on my campus, or on the Morehouse campus. But at that West End MARTA station-mean mugging. On the MARTA, West End to Peachtree-mean mugging. Walking to the West End “mall” to get my eyebrows done-mean mugging. I’m sorry, but a smiling face invited all kinds of tomfoolery from all of tom’s fools, and I don’t regret using the mean mug as a way of protecting myself from unwanted attention. Granted, the mean mug didn’t always help, and fools would get mad offended b/c I didn’t walk over to a car full of negros who blew the horn at me…like I work on the corner instead of just standing there waiting to cross the street.
Now that I’m older and wiser, I don’t mean mug nearly as much, but I strategically time it so that the dude rocking gold teeth will not bother me while I’m trying to get my groceries. Of course the mean mug vanishes when I see a sexy chocolate brotha picking out organic produce….
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:23 am
“I’m sorry, but a smiling face invited all kinds of tomfoolery from all of tom’s fools, and I don’t regret using the mean mug as a way of protecting myself from unwanted attention.”
I forgot to make this point because it’s true. I usually try to avoid eye-contact from the unwanted, fake looking for something in my bag, or otherwise make myself look busy. lol But yes, a smile is NOT always in an invite. It could just be a “good morning”. It’s in my instinct to smile at folks when I lock eye-contact. My cheeks just involuntarily lift up sometimes. Men, don’t just look at the cheeks, though (in all matter of speaking). You gotta look at the eyes too. If shes eye-boning you or giving you bedroom eyes, then YES it is an invite, if not, move right along. Also, if the smile is too damn quick, it’s just a being-polite one. lol
Then again, the frown can get unwanted attention to from the braver and obnoxious ones. A lot of women know about the random brotha yelling at them to “Smile, girrl!”.
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Exactly! Preach! Co-Sign! all that good stuff!
Where I am from (Big Ups to the Midwest) you are supposed to smile and nod to those that you pass… Dudes have made that nearly impossible when they then turn around and follow you down the street.
That was not an invitation for harassment. I WAS JUST BEING POLITE!!!
I usually get the “Why you gotta look so mean?!?”
Because mister, that mug… was meant for you. Fall back off my life.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:40 am
“Where I am from (Big Ups to the Midwest) you are supposed to smile and nod to those that you pass… ”
That explains Chicago. We have a combo of that big-city “don’t touch me, I’m in a rush” vibe, but we also have the midwest hospitality. I think it’s since a lot of Black folks migrated there from the South. Just about everyone I know here has grandparents and beyond from there and this mentality was instilled in us.
Oh and *dap* for this one:
“I usually get the “Why you gotta look so mean?!?” ”
That’s a common one, too. It ain’t always about YOU nicca, I’m living MY life and was living it before you strolled pass.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:33 am
“Smile, girrl!”
::cringe::shudder::ugh::
I hate this.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
About a few weeks ago I had a guy tell me “Your man must not be doing something right.” because I declined to engage in a conversation with him.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I agree. I’m a smiler b/c I’m Southern, and that’s what we do. Lately though, I’ve seen a lot of mean mugging women walking around downtown Raleigh. I think they may be implants from the cold north…lol.
And I despise the “Smile, girrl.”
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Tunde Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:48 am
I smile and say hello to people I pass in the streets as well (just how I was raised). Its common courtesy. *shrugs*
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:56 am
word. We all know black people we see everyday you are suppose to give a head nod.
If I walk by you in the office and you mean mug me, when I neve did you wrong… you have gone to far. You are not protecting yourself, at work I am no threat to you.
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Reecie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
me too. and if guys try to holler after that initial hi, I smile and let them down easy “I’m really in a rush, but nice meeting you”. I have been told smile girl, but its usually because I’m daydreaming/distracted and don’t realize I have the serious look on my face. most of the time I’m pleasant when I come across people.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
“I have been told smile girl, but its usually because I’m daydreaming/distracted and don’t realize I have the serious look on my face.”
You are me with this here. I always get the “what’s wrong?” because I daydream/think a lot.
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BlueFlame Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
OMG the West End was the WORST! lol I was so glad when i didn’t have to walk to that damn Marta Station anymore!
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
girl, me too. lol.
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My favorite is the Hypocritical Heffa. There’s nothing funnier/frustrating than watching a woman get at another woman for doing something questionable when you know that she did the same exact activities.
Her excuse – well, it’s different because she did it. Hahaha. Woooo. Man. You have to laugh or else you’ll end up blowing a blood vessel trying to find the logic in that.
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BlueFlame Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
I have to co-sign that…she also gives advice when it wasn’t asked for. And she feels that she is the AUTHORITY on your life. She will tell you what not to do and chastise you for it, then turn around and do that ish herself. I can’t stand that bull!
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Me trying NOT to be “The Judge” cost one of my friends dearly…
I think I’m a pretty good judge of character, dare I’d say very intuitive about people.
I don’t know how I’m going to reconcile the two [being & not being The Judge; trying to be the supportive friend, while not], but next time I have a bad feeling about my homegirls guy I’m just gonna have to let her know. Hell, she had the feeling herself, but you live and you learn….
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I will admit that I was unhollerable heffa but growing on the South Side of Chi-town it was a bunch of Bernie Mac looking cats tryin to holla at me with. Now that I have grown up, I’ve developed a much nicer approach to ward off these creatures while not creating future line in my cholocate brown skin.
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I got one:
Miss I like my Balls Blue: She is the most psychotic woman to ever known, and a danger to society. She talks a good game and makes you think that you are in there. You do everything right and are open and honest about your expectations. She has no problem with any suggestion you have while on the phone with her. She even uses terms like:
“I do everything”
“I’m not scared of anything you got”
“I hope you are ready”
“I’m down”
But she aint got a sexy bone in her body.
She could be saying yes, than changing it to a no just as a power trip.
She could be doing this b/c she was lying and has no idea how to handle the Cannon
Either way you will have to spend the night with a laptop and some hand lotion.
OR she does give it up and its no where near as good as she was talking.
She can’t pop lock and drop it
Its dry
-She sounds like a dying cat when you pound her
-She gets sore easily
-Big Nappy Bush
-She sighs and has a complaint every time you want to change positions
-You go to smack that bootie and get a little aggressive, maybe motivate her to put that thang in motion and she looks back at you like you were Don Imus at the Apollo Theater… I think you can throw out any dirty talk.
This is just as bad as the Blue Balled B!tch that didn’t give you any, b/c you feel like you are exposing your piece to disease or worst, pregnancy, when you could have done this better with that hand lotion previously mentioned.
Editor’s Note
***Ladies, I would say you belong in the category is you stingy with the knowledge. If you are giving out the headiepoo less than 40% of all s e xual experiences… the shoe fits.
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Tunde Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:51 am
yeah this villain is something else. bad thing is you don’t know she’s a villain until its too late. smh
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Your comments are, literally, the best! LMAO
“Big Nappy Bush” – I can’t!
I’m actually get warm from laughing so hard.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
“the Cannon” huh? You need more people, a pic and reference from your girl. Specially since you capitilzed the “C” in Cannon. lol!
Bragging + Bad sex = violence.
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CHeeKZ can't believe his manhood was just called out... Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Shots Fired.
Turning my own call out back around on me, huh?
Touche’
I going to be thinking about you this weekend Anna. Just know some young lady is going to be witness to all the artillery I can provide. This aint the Doctor’s office from yesterday’s comments. No shrinkage.
Thanks for the motivation
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
All I’m sayin’ is…
That heffa better be in a wheelchair come Monday. Talkin’ bout, “Heeeey, Latrelle!” o_0!
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I admit that I could be defined as the unhollerable heffa. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I’m intimidating. I could care less. Really, I could. That is mean, I know. You’re thinking she ain’t all that, I know. You’re thinking who does she think she is to type this cocky mess. Who cares…you don’t pay my bills. Neither does that Negro on the street. Why in the world should I walk around with a smile on my face? That makes NO sense. I mean I understand smiling at a guy that I’m ACTUALLY interested in, but, why would I smile at a guy whose just tryna holla? Or why do I have to smile at every guy who gives me a compliment? Really why? So, if I don’t smile I’m just an unhollerable heffa? Fine, that’s cool, I’ll take that. But real talk, sometimes I just don’t feel like smiling and I’m in a bad mood and it annoys me that random negroes think them giving me a compliment or hollering at me is gone change my life.
Maybe I am intimidating, maybe I am unhollerable, but, I’ll tell you one thing. If you were really about yours…you would get me. You’d know how to get through to me.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Man.
the unhollerable heffas are really tight today.
Not just you Loudpen.. but damn. Atleast y’all admit to it.
I think the point against unhollerable heffas is not that they are avoiding the wack men… they are avoiding humans.
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LoudPen Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Cheekz in defense of myself, I was particularly pissed off today. Thank you for helping me realize it. I’m not always unhollerable…sometimes I even smile.
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Reecie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I read a really random blog post about compliments just last night. I think the person said “sometimes a compliment is all the person has to give, don’t judge the giver, just appreciate it”. and you never know somebody could change your life….there have been days I’ve felt really really down/stank and the kindness of strangers TOTALLY improved my mood.
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Why is it that everytime someone has a problem, its labeled insecure? Cant some people just suck at life?
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:07 am
OMG i was just thinking this. It seems to be the default rebuttal in the blogosphere.
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Me falling down the stairs once a month, or ALWAYS dropping hot grits on my hands shows that I suck at life.
Hating on your bff’s dude under the guise of being a “friend” when it really because you are single and have no one to hang out with is insecure.
Yeah, the method sucks, but why kick her while she’s down?
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Peyso Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:18 am
or she could just be a bad person
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
“Hating on your bff’s dude under the guise of being a “friend” when it really because you are single and have no one to hang out with is insecure.”
Disagree. This person would suck at life.
I have girlfriends that I can’t find for months when they get in a relationship. I only hear from them once they got issues with their man and they need to vent. Do I get mad? Nope. I find new friends or hang with the ones that got time on their hands.
A chick that gets upset over that is not insecure – she just needs a life (AKA some good D of her own).
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
@Terri: This “insecure” and “fragile” stuff is killin’ me today. Fortunately, we’ll be addressing what that’s really about next week.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
To quote Queen Oprah, “There is only love, and fear.”
I think that insecurity and fear are at the heart of most bad behavior.
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Absolutely.
She ain’t got no D, her friend got the D. Now she fear she won’t EVER get D, which she then becomes mad that her friend got the D and she don’t.
It all boils down to just another chick angry for no got-damn reason.
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X-Men Nerd Aside: Um, even though you put Phoenix and not Jean Grey technically, I gotta say that I’ve always been underwhelemed by Jean Grey’ powers. I mean, she just had telekinesis. So the eff what? Folks got that in real life in Timbuktu or some ish. Now STORM was a bad bish. I know Halle Berry had one of the top 5 worst lines ever uttered in movie history (the toad struck by lightning line), but still, Storm is the bomb. Ok, just had to get that out.
On to the topic.
Interesting list, Slimmie.
This one, I hate the most:
“The Crippling Criticizer aka The Judge”
Mmmhmm. I can’t stand a heffa that always gotta judge someone’s looks but is the visual interpretation of Wendy Williams. Actually she is the literal representation of Wendy Williams because that “lady” sure can talk about folks (why are ninjas gender testing that poor Caster Semenya? Gender test THIS bish!). lol
As for the Unhollerable Heffa. There is a middle ground here. Check this. I’m usually am a sunny-side up (no eggs) chick who smiles at everyone she encounters…I even do the tight-lipped smile to that rude 2520 chick. But sometimes, sometimes, I have the occasional bad day. So um, the question is, can we ladies have a bad day once in a while? Don’t write chicks off as “unhollerable” or “b*tches” just ‘cuz you happened to run across her on an “off” day. Maybe even step to her with a cutesy line (NOT “Girl, stop frowning and put a smile on that face!”) and charm her…make her day. Don’t completly write her off. You never know…she might be an overall nice girl.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:23 am
I think the Unhollerable Heffa is more about consistency than anything else. I’m not exactly Mr. Friendly 24/7, but some these villains out there…
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I agree that Storm is the baddest, but Jean was telepathic and telekinetic. So, not only could she throw you out the window with her mind, but she can also make you believe that you’re a baby bird, and it’s time to leave the nest.
And, I agree with the UH point. Now, I’m usually a friendly person…I’m Southern, so there’s no other way to be. But, there are those times when I just don’t want to be bothered…I know guys are just trying to be nice, and I appreciate it, but sometimes, you fellas need to realize it’s not about you. I’m grown, and I have other shit going on in my life that has nothing to do with you. So, don’t take it personal (no Monica).
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Jean was suppose to be a bad ass but always passed out after she did something cool.
Storm got busy.
Pyslocke was the best looking (esp when Jim Lee did her)
But we are still getting away from the point about these Heffas… they think the world centers around a man wanting to be with them. We are not all hollering, some of us are not interested. And even if we are all doing the ghetto “yo baby yo baby yo” that doesn’t mean you should take it to head and think that you are fly. Its just what ninjas do.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:50 am
“We are not all hollering, some of us are not interested. And even if we are all doing the ghetto “yo baby yo baby yo” that doesn’t mean you should take it to head and think that you are fly. Its just what ninjas do.”
Okay, so whether it’s a part of your “game” to up those numbers or not, sometimes a woman just doesn’t wanna play. Her attitude may not always be from her thinking she’s too fly for you, it may be that she simply doesn’t wanna be bothered.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Wow. You brought me back with Psylocke. Y’know you read the comics when you mention her.
Storm was the most powerful in the comic book, but Jean Grey got in that ass when she needed to. She was just real soft at the end of the day.
Still think Rogue was one of the baddest though. The one in the comics, not the one in the movie. No shots at Anna Paquin though. After watching some of her scenes in True Blood, she could definitely get it.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
O damn. I am just realizing now that Anna Paquin played both characters. Damn I’m slow. She could get it, but the show is a bit overrated.
ROGUE was the bad, but if you touch her you fall into a coma and she gets all your thoughts. Not wavey.
I was deadly with Psylocke in X-men Vs Street Fighter.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I felt sorry for Rogue a lot of the time, but yeah, she had some BAD powers.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:46 am
“I agree that Storm is the baddest, but Jean was telepathic and telekinetic. So, not only could she throw you out the window with her mind, but she can also make you believe that you’re a baby bird, and it’s time to leave the nest.”
I guess I was never impressed because it’s an attribute that people in real life have…or claim to have, rather. It’s not really “super”, ya know?
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 11:57 am
yeah, i hear ya. Jean isn’t that impressive.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Not to geek out but Jean had the ultimate psychokinetic ability. She could control ish with her mind, telepathically mind fcuk you and shoot a concussive beam to obliterate you. She was always on some weak ish though physically.
Storm controlled the elements, and could fcuk u up in a fair one… but shes clostrophobic (sp)? so thats a loss, lol.
Psylocke Id marry. Betsy Braddock FTW
carry on
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
yea. I Co-sign.
Jean as Dark Phoenix FTW… but you know what is going to happen.. She is going to die, again, and disappear for 50-75 issues until they do a big 25 issue anniversary double sized blow out than bring her back.
In between time Cyclops is going to fall in love with Emma Frost or Madelyne Pryor (who I’m still confused she is)
We are sleeping on Domino, the original red-bone mutant.
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Streetztalk Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
LOLOL at this!
Cyclops wins bec he gets to bone KNOWING Jean will Rise again! (No JC the God)
Theres a chick on X-Factor named Monet. wow. google it ya geeks, lol.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
hmm uh.
The Black girl who use to be in Gen X?
Yeah that is a good book I heard.
They always have good stories in the side X teams.
SMH at this becoming a complete side track and having nothing to do with insecure women.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
oh i definitely agree, read my previous comment. i was referring to how they portray her on the movie. i haven’t read the comics in years, but her movie character sucks azz, to me.
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Being from NYC, you become accustomed to the mean mug. Everyone has it. As soon as I see that Welcome to New York City sign, my face get a little chillier (no Alpha) and I become a little more aggressive. It’s a given. However, you have to learn when to turn that off.
Also the mean mug, while it’s been latched onto by most of the ladies here, is just the feature of the Unhollerable Heffa. The overall stank, conceited (not cocky) and intolerable nature of this trick is what makes her an Unhollerable Heffa. These chicks deserve to be brought down to Earth and I usually end up being their pilot.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Also the mean mug, while it’s been latched onto by most of the ladies here, is just the feature of the Unhollerable Heffa. The overall stank, conceited (not cocky) and intolerable nature of this trick is what makes her an Unhollerable Heffa. These chicks deserve to be brought down to Earth and I usually end up being their pilot.
this was my homegirl last night at happy hour, stank attitude and all. now, i’ve admitted to mean mugging at certain times, but how can you mean mug at happy hour? it’s HAPPY HOUR!! and then, chick got mad when guys didn’t speak to her, saying “these dudes are lame as hell.” smh. yeah, gotta know when to turn the mean mug off.
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RightCoastLexSteele, Rubber Band Man Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Maybe that’s just what her face looks like.
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N.I.A. naturally Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
lol. no, she’s a pretty girl who know’s it, and she has a bad attitude b/c of it.
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I wake up and piss excellence, phoenix feathers, eye of newt and unicorn tears. Therefore, I’m perfect. This doesn’t apply to me. *cackles*
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Peyso Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
unicorns dont cry
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Dog, do you mind if I ask what you do for work? I just went to 7 different websites and saw comments from you on each one of them.lol.
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Peyso Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
i’m a mile wide and inch deep, (pause). I do a job that allows me to comment pretty freely between the hours of around 10:30am til about 2:30 or 3pm. The rest of the day 8-10:30 and 3-5:30ish, i’m slaving
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Interestingly enough, I’m able to comment freely like my ThreeWays award twin up there because a bulk of my job requires me being on the Internet so I can get my slick blog surf-on with little to no worry (I mastered the quick-draw minimize button and multiple windows when bossman comes by).
It’s the reason why I had no idea how/why I wasn’t granted access here for that span of time. My job requires a lot of internet research so they can’t be blocking websites all willy-nilly. You never know…I might need something job-related from here. Right…
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I give this post two snaps and a twist a la Men on Film. Quite a few of my friends are one or more of these characters. Actually quite a few women are in general, be it intentional or otherwise. One question though. Where o where is the drama queen? She needs to be added to the list, otherwise she will die of horror from being left off. I don’t really fit any of these, but not because I’m a super-heroine. I do get the title of drama queen a lot. What can I say. I’m a reporter. We know drama like TNT.
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Cheekie Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
“We know drama like TNT.”
Ha! This cracked me up.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
That drama like TNT line is crack.lol. I’m mad I missed this one!
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wow so many posts! already. I’m late this AM (actually had work to do), but the list was cool to me. I don’t think I’m any of them either. well maybe a tad of hypcrotical heffa. yeah, that’s the one. LMAO.
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None of this applies to me so I have no rebuttal. Yet I am quite entertained by the comments so I’ll just be lurking with my taffy.
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I can be the Unhollerable Heffa, for obvious reasons.
I am the Gumby Gal when I’m in a relationship. No the rules don’t apply to me. I can have male friends, you can’t have female friends, unless they are uglier than me, then by all means go right ahead.
Am I insecure? No, that’s just me.
It. Is. What. It. Is.
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Dr. Rox aka Professional Psychoanalyst Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
“…unless they are uglier than me…”
That’s the definition of insecure sweetie.
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Dear Dr. Rox,
Is “insecure” your blanket statement of the day too? Terri is not insecure. She is perfectly stable.
I hope you get the sarcasm in this post, because you clearly missed it in the last.
Sincerely,
Theresa.
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Mc Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Go ahead & hide under ur guise of “sarcasm.” The rest of us see right thru it.
Slim’s “characters” exuuuude insecurity (or on the other hand in regards to the gold diggers, they take advantage of it). INSECURE. Yes, that is the official & diagnosable “term of the day.”
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Now now ladies. We will be talking about insecurities on Monday. Please be sure to stop on by.
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Terri Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Mc your comments seem a little hostile.
I’ve learned my lesson:
In the event of sarcastic comments on BLOGS, please include disclaimer.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Let’s not get hasty now. We here at Three Ways are connoisseurs of sarcasm. Nothing like a nice witty and dry comment that goes over people’s heads and makes other folks crack up more than Joan Rivers’ face.
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Anna Nimous Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Whew – didn’t know this is Panties in a Bunchday! The good news is, controversy breeds new blog topics…
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Don’t forget about Tropical Storm Tina…she will rain on your parade-constantly. If it wasn’t her idea or an activity that she agrees with, she will make sure no one has fun. She refuses to participate in drunken nights of decadence and feels the need to condemn and judge anyone who participates in an activity that she doesn’t (morally) agree with. At some point she may even pull out a bible, start speaking in tongues and layin hands.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
hahaha @ Tropical Storm Tina!
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Mc Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
lolol soooooo true!! btw happy to see u on the blog today BlueFlame
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Today’s blog is FUNNY
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LMFAO @ a whole lot of this…
Highlights:
Joey…LMAO…umm..u def. did that to yourself. Its not about race…you’re a lady. I wouldn’t even joke like that.
Terry…I didn’t think that was sarcasm either…that sounding like a #truth…come on…don’t front!
Good laughs today, folks.
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WOW….. Slim I take my hat off to you. Just like my randomness often times inspires your writings, your site has truly given me wings (no red bull)…
Wow….
lol
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Kumbaya my lord…kumbaya….man people went IN on this post! good job slim! and what up mc! im on my phone so i cant post a reply…but HILARIOUS
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Still Water Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
In my head, I dubbed this post “Thriller” because I died and came back to life so many times…
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After some thought, none of these fit me at all. I’m not extraordinary or anything near that, but these descriptions describe very strong-minded and strong-willed women who end up embarrassing themselves instead of dignifying themselves. Not all of us are like that and some of us are simply too lazy (like me) to bother. :/
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