3 Ways Exposed: The Return

After a much needed break from the daily grind of writing for and running this sexy website, we decided it was time to return. The people asked us to come back, so we came back. It’s 2010 and we’re ready to take this blog to a new level in our quest to repeat as an award-winning website and place for intellectual orgies. Did we miss great opportunities to discuss current events **cough cough Tiger** while we took the hiatus? Yes. Did we find ourselves coming to the website admin panel to start writing a post and then realize that we were on a break? Yes. It’s no different than when you sleep with your ex or significant other while you’re on a break from the relationship. Better to do it when them than them do it with somebody else? Ehh, this is turning into a tangent already.

This year is going to be an interesting one for us. In terms of the administrative side of things, the post schedule is going to change a bit. Ms. Jenkins will still hold down Mondays and Seattle will deliver spine-tingling keystrokes on Tuesdays. Slim will be moving from Wednesday/Hump Day to Thursdays. Friday will remain Eff ‘Em Friday. And if RCLS doesn’t speak the truth on Wednesdays, it’ll be an up in the air day and we ain’t talkin’ George Clooney. It just means it’ll be something different each time. We already know that the ladies that visit the site will love some of the “different stuff”. In 2010, we’re also aiming to move from just being bloggers to writers. It may sound like the same thing, but there are some differences. Once again, you will see.

But now that we got the administrative stuff out of the way, it’s time that we told you the truth about what happened to each of us during the hiatus. Some of this will be shocking. Some of this will have you saying “So that’s why the person’s face was blurred out on Intervention”. Regardless of your reaction, enjoy and let us know that you’re out there!

Miss Jenkins

I am writing to you good people from the bing. After Seattle told me that I could have a baby by him and be on welfare, I dropped out of school and took him up on his offer. I came to find out that he was lying. His good-hair-having-self made too much money to be on welfare. When I learned about his lie, it was too late; I was already knocked up. In response, I did what any sensible woman would do: I busted the windows out of his car. Before I could ditch the crowbar and brick, the snitch called the cops and had me locked up. The prenatal care in here sucks. Thanks a lot, Seattle. No worries though. I’ll see you in February. And that batty RCLS too.

Slim Jackson

I tried to completely escape the world of blogging, but was able to get my fix on a weekly basis by posting over at the SBM site. Speaking of addictions, I got caught passed out and naked surrounded by empty bags of sour patch kids (#nochrishanson and #nodatelinenbc)…3 times. I ended up getting interviewed for what I thought was a special on addiction to sweet candy and it turned out to be an Intervention. They only allowed me access to the addiction clinic computer to write posts (Gotta let a genius do his work) and occasionally tweet. After I completed the program and was “cured” of my addiction to sour patch kids candy, I grew an extremely long beard and hiked through the Himalayas in search of the true meaning of life and the way to my inner-blogging Nirvana. At the peak of one of the mountains, I discovered my true self. I also looked down and realized my piece grew significantly which led to a change in my wardrobe and the removal of all boxer briefs from my apartment. But alas, I am back bigger and better than ever.

The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele

My plan to rid decent society of the plague known as “Sowhatiff Jenkins” came to fruition during the hiatus as I traveled to the Bean and convinced Seattle it would be pretty funny to see what Tiff would do if he told her to drop out of school and incubate his seed.  All I really wanted to do was create a scenario where she would be coerced into professing her love for him ever since she first laid eyes on him, blah blah blah, then I’d pick up the other line informing her she had been punked.  My hope was that the embarrassment would lead her to banish herself to the wilderness never to be heard from again.  Although successful, the plan has seemingly backfired, seeing as she gets out in a few months and will probably be loaded with new material like a rapper that just came home.  I’ve kept myself busy with other endeavors as well.   I’m currently in Buffalo, NY filming the movie “A 30 Million Dollar 8Ball: The Rick James Story” and working out the details with BET for my new West Indian version of the Jerry Springer show called ”The Fitzroy Clark Jr. Guinness and Kallaloo Hour”.  I know, I know, Brilliant.

Seattle Washington

Damn Ms. Jenkins got brolic when she was in the slammer. That seed is definitely going to the NFL or the NBA. At the very least he’ll take over for Shamar Moore as the muscular good haired Black actor. Looks like I will be sticking around for the next 18 years. Anyway, what have I been up to? Besides impregnating Sowhatiff (intravenously for those who were wondering) I well… sigh.  I took the money we got in ad revenue and went on a ruckus filled drug, alcohol and sneaker binge that consumed most of the Three Ways savings. Once I realized we made all of about $5 on ads, I found myself in some serious debt. To work my way out of it, I moonlighted as a Chippendale’s dancer for awhile, did some prize fighting under Kimbo Slice’s camp and even wrote a three part series of romance novels under the name of Seattle Slew. Once it was apparent that I needed more extra cash than Nas and Paul McCartney combined, I begged the rest of the Three Ways Crew for a reunion tour in the new year. This should add a whopping $.1 a day to knock out the debt. That can feed a kid in a Third World country according to those infomercials, so I should be OK. So, here we are. …Please geezus guys, never leave me alone again.

That’s about it. It was a real low key vacation as you can tell and we’re more than happy to be back. With that said, Happy New Year and let’s get 2010 started the right way with a Sowhatiff tomorrow!

Happy to be back in the sack,

The Three Ways Crew