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The Reverse Double Standard
The Monday Early Edition. Let’s get the week started!
We did a series a couple months back when we were getting our blog off the ground on the Double Standards between Men and Women. In retrospect, those posts expressed standards that left men pretty much unscathed. We talked about sex numbers, baby momma/poppa drama, etc. I happened to be chatting with one of my 38 female friends (I am heterosexual) recently. She was telling me how she got the price of an oil change dropped by like 15 dollars. At first I thought this was an accomplishment, and then I realized that if I pulled up in a fitted cap and tried to get that same discount it wouldn’t have happened. I had no choice but to chalk this up to her womanhood.
We’ve heard of reverse discrimination, so how about the Reverse Double Standard? In case anyone is jumpin’ the bone gun, this term will be synonymous with Woman Privilege, since Man Privilege allows us to sleep with 40-50 women by the age of 24-26 and not be labeled a slut. It also allows us to father a seed and be looked upon either neutrally or favorably afterwards while women often become “damaged goods”. Yes, I admit these Double Standards. However women get some advantages as result of boobs, buttcheeks, pretty faces, and/or nice hair…
Free Drank and Smoke
Regardless of if dudes are tryna get it in or what, women are usually allowed to drink or smoke (trees) for free. This doesn’t just apply at the club. It can be a pre-game event, a gathering at someone’s house, or a post party/club get together. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen men scurrying to cop bottles to feed to women, or how many times I’ve been in the presence of folks who were puffing non-tobacco products and seen a chick(s) make their way over and hop in the mix. I remember back in HS when heads had to throw in 5-15 bux, only to see certain girls pop up only once the thang was lit. Ish used to piss me off, but now I just deal with it. To shout equal opportunity nowadays would only make me look like a jerk.
**Note Slim Jackson did not partake in any such activities. He is only as guilty as Bill Clinton was.**
Discount City
I’m no longer impressed when a chick says to me “You won’t believe the discount I got on this/these shoes, jeans, shirts, boots, coat, apartment, house, car, boat, 50 inch TV, TV stand, dinner, season pass, oil change, tire replacement, Iced Latte, Orange Julius, couch, rug, kitchen table, mattress, and/or anything else that tickles her love button fancy. With a flip of the hair (if long enough), sexy blink, or pleasant flirtatious conversation, a woman can exercise great power in achieving discounts. Even a cute dude could come off as broke bastard if he tries to maneuver into a discount sometimes. Woman Privilege, Double Standard, Whatever.
Sexual Quality over Quantity
Even a chick who lays there on her back idle like a fish outta water can go around tellin her girls sumthin about the dude, or leave him feelin insignificant if he doesn’t live up to whatever standard she has in mind (i.e. stop watch). If a chick gets her rocks off in 5 minutes, that’s great! If a dude gets his rocks off in 5 minutes, he played a sport at UMass (Check the link if you don’t get the reference). While men may exercise a Double Standard with regard to quantity, women are allowed to exercise one with regard to the quality of the encounter. Yeah, dudes can say the beats were wack. But more than likely, he skeeted so it wasn’t THAT bad. Shout out to the Stamina Browns of the world. Also, shout out to alcohol for equalizing the game.
Wrap it up B!
Yeah, I know. This post was comparable to my special place long. I apologize…somewhat. If you made it through, I salute you. Let us know your thoughts on this one. Let the dialog be fruitful and pleasant.
44 Responses to “The Reverse Double Standard”
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Slim Jackson, has definitely nailed the key areas in which women tend to have a bill come up to free 99. I’m not one to partake in non tobacco activities (dually noted: Guilty as Bill Clinton) but while in school I noticed women would probably hit up their homeboy and suggest they go on an adventure of “Let’s Spark Up” Tour without dropping a dime.
I am never one to provide a woman that I do not know drinks, unless I have been guaranteed that some extra curricular activities will take place. The wool is not over my eyes because I take full advantage of a situation if a female is getting free drinks. I have had some of my fly female friends act as bait to help provide myself or the team with some free drinks at club/lounge while she does her business. So fellas, if you are in group that is at the club, try using your pretty female friends to get the drinks if not for you but the team free drinks. Try to only use the one you don’t have a chance in hitting a Barry Bonds homerun with…
In addition, I would suggest using this tactic in a tasteful manner to help benefit the group as a whole because sooner or later someone might feel like they are getting pimped or “used” (lolol …..yea right).
I don’t know if this might be only me but I have received discounts at men’s retail stores from women that look like they are over the age of 30 with no wedding ring. Maybe it’s the boyish looks or maybe their cougar senses are on high alert?
Remember fellas, see if you’re fly female friend want to kick it with the gang and see what discounts start floating towards the team…
Paz in Baghdad
-BBW
NOTE: This can only work if you’re female friend is like a 7.5 or better on a 10pt scale. Also, discretion is key because a patsy is made when they don’t realize they are being made into one. This will not work with an average females. I REPEAT, this will not work with average females….7.5s or better
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Seattle Washington Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 10:59 am
I concur with Mr. BBW, you’ve got to seize the opportunities when they arise.
A little while ago, my crew and I were waiting in a long line for some lounge that was about the size of my closet. We were, unfortunately, about 6 dudes deep and there was a sluggish line full of anxious chicks in front of us. Good thing this one fly young lady came out with us.
The eager promoter got duped when he tried to let said young lady jump the line and go straight into the spot. She immediately said we all were with her and in turn got us all in the lounge without, what would’ve been, a fruitless wait.
We dubbed her “American Express” that night. And now we don’t leave home without her.
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 11:49 am
SW…I definitely do remember that nite vividly…the stunned look of the promoter was awesome…I like how someone thought we were part of band or something…TAKE HEED FELLAS….it works…lolol
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Another side note to that is don’t let the pretty female friend get caught! I once was at a party and was immediately given a cup for the keg, I don’t drink beer so I kept just filling up for my guy friends. Well the guy who’s apartment we were at saw me hand my cup over and got all pissed off and tried to make the guys pay him.
Lame!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
November 30th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
He’s just salty cuz he nor any of his boys were going to have the opportunity to strike gold.lol.
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Nayhov about to change my name to Nay Peyso Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 11:37 am
This works everytime. I have used many a pretty female friend to ascertain drinks or entry into club. Roll to a club with 5 bad broads and you will be escorted in every single time.
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Let me just start by saying, none of these stingy NINJAS in Louisville buy you dranks…. but it’s ok with me b/c I’m not a hard drinker anyway.
I’m tryin to think of when I used my sexuality to get me something. Oh, I didn’t use it, but the guys must like me b/c everytime I go to Michel Tire, I get a hook up. They patched my tire up for free once! Gotta love that!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 10:44 am
That’s exactly the type of ish I’m talkin about!
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Well dayum, I must be a 6.5 ’cause I can’t remember a single hook up.
Well ‘cept for when I was in St. Thomas and the clerk didn’t charge me extra for the ocean side room. But then that was a female. Oh man. . . . .
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 11:53 am
Either she plays in the carpet or she didn’t like her job…
Or maybe you just struck her as a stunning individual!
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Or they were low in occupancy and she was tryna be nice.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 12:24 pm
But that’s not as exciting and interesting as the other options…
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Yea…I won’t deny woman privlege. Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t pay full price for anything. That has more to do with my ability to haggle than it does woman privilege, but again, I won’t deny that it does play a factor sometimes.
The other day (Black Friday), I was in the Polo Store and homeboy would not leave my side. He acted like a personal shopper and picked up everything I had my eye on. He suggested “colors that brought out my eyes,” and shirts that would “accentuate my neck.” (wtf?) At the end of the day, he slipped both of his non-Polo business cards in my bag (probation officer and Century 21…er?), along with a 30% coupon that he’s not supposed to give out til next week. Oh and somehow, one of those shirts didn’t end up on my receipt.
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NickiSunshine Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 1:43 pm
“would “accentuate my neck.””
WTF is right! LOL.
I dated a guy who said I had nice shoulders. I thought that was the weirdest thing ever but you may have me on the neck.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 1:51 pm
If a dude is into chicks with an athletic build, he may be referring to the definition. I could see that one. A nice neck though? Sounds like that goes in the category of “you got some purdy lips girl”. lol
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NickiSunshine Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 3:52 pm
What about “you’ve got a purddy mouth?”
I’ve heard that before and it freaked me the hell out.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:05 pm
“What about “you’ve got a purddy mouth?”
I’ve heard that before and it freaked me the hell out.”
hahahaha!
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“accentuate my neck.” (wtf?)
The hell? What is he, a vampire? That’s one I’ve never heard before.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Yea I was kinda like uhmmm…you’re definitely tryin too hard.
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Tonja (yes, I decided to change my name for continuity purposes in the blog community) Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Ooops, meant to reply to your actual post, Nyela. I blame it on Monday plus the Turkey Day food coma. But, yeah, he’s either trying too hard or that’s sincerely the first thing he notices in a woman. Both are disturbing.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:04 pm
It’s alright, gurl. I feel you on that Monday thing…it’s plaguing me right now. Yes, I said plaguing.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I just spit my lunch out. hilarious.
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LOL
Good read.
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Some women don’t maximize the potential of their Woman Privilege. Sure there’s the occasional hook up on the dinner check from the sexy waiter who accessorized your girl’s night, and the guy at the gym who reserves your machine and has your water waiting, but there’s so much more to it.
There’s a science involved:
I believe social networking to be a very big part of my life, that being said, I’m always rockin’ a few things: pearly white teeth, a conservatively intriguing outfit, great mascara, and a soft spoken voice. Works all day, everyday – any occasion, any venue. Who can be mean to a great smile, friendly demeanor, cute clothes, and some nice eyes? Come on boys, some of us may not know how to keep you around for a minute (some of us don’t really care to either) but we do know how to maximize our potential off of your little potential. Then there’s the factor of deciphering the physical quality that makes us stand out from the crowd (more importantly, stand out amongst our pretty girl friends), usually it’s the feature that makes us feel most confident. I think that’s key to Woman Privilege, you gotta know what works for you and what doesn’t. Beyond the occasional discounts and the once in a blue moon line skips, there’s an opportunity to build long-term perks. Using Women Privilege to enhance your social network, consistently and effectively, will probably result in basketball tickets (court side, kids), pricey hook-ups, exclusive connections and an all around great time. Why throw yourself all over some ‘my thing swing down to the floor’ fellow just for a drink, when you can impress the bartender and kick back with the ladies?
It disheartens me when women exercise the privilege to all the wrong people, playing the coy ‘let me keep it real, im pretty & you’ve got a hook up, let’s talk’ card with the doorman/bartender/athlete/jeweler will take you so much farther than the ‘it ain’t trickin if you got it, hollaaa’ card with some booty shorts and aluminum hoop earrings.
Southern ‘Twitter is My New Facebook’ Belle
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Nayhov about to change my name to Nay Peyso Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 3:02 pm
So new e-boo, when we having our first e date? I wanna see you parlay your good looks into something that can benefit the both of us.
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Southern Belle Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 4:04 pm
That’s how you come at me e-baby? Oh no. Refine.
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Peyso Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Hahaha. You know what we’ll save that for the thrid or fourth, when its your turn to pay
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Southern Belle Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:32 pm
lolol. i always got me, so i guess now is an appropriate time.
slim, if this works out you can expand to some type of match.com gig
hmm…
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Hmm…I don’t know how I feel about this perspective. I view Woman Privilege more as a tool to be used more unconsciously than manipulatively. I realize nothing we do is done unconsciously, but I feel like the idea of Woman Privilege presented by Slim is detailing the leverage women automatically have over men in everyday situations. I think about it like this: With White privilege, they don’t have to do anything extra; they’re just White. This puts them at an advantage in some (not all) situations.
Putting all that extra effort into perfecting this so-called “science” for “long-term perks” just brings the idea of another type of woman to mind…one I ain’t tryna be.
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Southern Belle Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Very well said, and point taken.
However, men are very aware of Woman Privilege and in the cases where we are given perks it is simply because men have a way of objectifying women. With White Privilege, white people just get perks from other white people because of a commonality and sense of security they feel between one another. Woman Privilege doesn’t function within the same sex dynamic, and men acknowledge that privilege in a woman from a strategic standpoint (either tryna get laid, tag along with ya girls for some free drinks, be labeled as the ‘cool bouncer’ because he befriends all the pretty girls, etc.) Too often the role that women end up playing because they get these perks, as a result of their physical attributes, is one that brands us as a piece of meat.
The majority of men don’t give out discounts and drinks out of the kindness in their hearts, if that were the case then we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Men hook women up for a reason, and while women don’t have to give in to it (they can just take their discount and jet), I offer a way of working the system the same way it works us. I think some women are under the impression that they can only strategize by sexualizing themselves, and I don’t necessarily believe that to be the case.
I use the terms “science, strategy, and long term perks” because I’m acknowledging the playing field. While some connections and hook-ups I get from friends, there are a good handful that come from Woman Privilege which, I would be foolish to deny, comes from being unfairly sexualized.
And I’ll support my stance with an anecdotal reference of a friend who writes for Slam. Part of the reason she is given access to the interviews that she gets is because she’s cute in the face. While her writing is phenomenal, unfortunately her intellect is not the first thing people see. So she networks with her face and seals deals with her intelligence. Now the women that network with the face and seal deals with their wet wet are a whole different topic of discussion…that’s a whole other system!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 3:51 pm
“So she networks with her face and seals deals with her intelligence. Now the women that network with the face and seal deals with their wet wet are a whole different topic of discussion…that’s a whole other system”
My Nantucket Nectar is all over the keyboard.
That sure does sound sexual doesn’t it?
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Makes sense. You just made me think of this: Woman Privilege was created, is fostered and perpetuated by men. If most men didn’t so unfairly objectify women (as you said) and act based on what they think they can get from us, we wouldn’t have such power. Kind of like a baby…once they figure out that crying will get them all the attention they want, tears well up at the drop of a pacifier. Unlike a baby, though, this ain’t a power that can be taken away—it’s here to stay, boo-boo’s. hehe
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:26 pm
power can be uslurped….
usurped*
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Southern Belle Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Haaaa, this place is so eloquently nasty.
I LOVE IT.
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Damn, I’m all for women privilege. That why I’ve been rolling deep with the females anytime I want to club/party. They get me in, I roll off to do my own thang all night. They get me free drinks, I play the occassional role of “boyfriend” when they ask me to lol. In the end, we’re all happy!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Are you sure that “rolling deep” is all you have been doing?
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CVal Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Hey, always made sure there is at least one “good friend” in the group in case of slim pickings. Once again, in the end we’re all happy!
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I appreciate you for highlighting this reverse discrimination that we have suffered through for so long. Finally … our struggle is realized.
And if one more girl tells me about getting into the club I dropped $60 to get in … for free and getting brought up to VIP and then popping bottles with {insert rapper or athlete} then I’m gonna … well I don’t know what I’m gonna do
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 6:27 pm
“And if one more girl tells me about getting into the club I dropped $60 to get in … for free and getting brought up to VIP and then popping bottles with {insert rapper or athlete} then I’m gonna … well I don’t know what I’m gonna do”
That’s the type of ish that will turn me into a salt machine!
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Jac Reply:
December 1st, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I guess I probably shouldn’t mention how I am always ending up in VIP w. Reggie and Kim and they friends.
I ain’t never paid to get in this club and I always drink free.
Sorry SBM
hehe
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slim you sound kinda bitter here…
i thought everyone got the discounts and such… my bad! so i guess that means i shouldn’t tell you about my midnight madness purchases (including the 2 free shirts) that i got…
but you are definitely right about the whole non tobacco substance that gets smoked like it (i feel like should have used hyphens)… i have never paid (or inhaled) before and never will!!! however, because i’m an alcoholic, hmph, i mean drunk, i will spring for a bottle or 2, for me…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I don’t sound bitter. I am bitter.lol.
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Don’t hate–participate…lol
We can get deals but sometimes folks like to get over just because you are a woman too…i.e., a mechanic who thinks he can overcharge just because you’re a woman and might not know a thing about cars.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Good Point. That is def a flip side. They’ll pull that ish on men too. Damnnnn themmmm!
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