Things Men Just Don’t Get
Last week, Slim and Sir Steele hit us with a list of some things women don’t understand about men. As promised, I have come up with a list of some things men just don’t get about women. Pull up a chair and enjoy.
Just look at him...
1. We know you love us and think we are beautiful, but we need to hear it anyway.
We understand that you are not emotionally expressive because you don’t want to look like a parfait emo teddy bear. And we know that we “shouldn’t” need reinforcement or encouragement if we have our ish together. We aren’t saying that we need to be told every 5 minutes that you miss us, love us or are thinking about us. But you need to remember to say those things anyway. When a woman has a man in her life, she shouldn’t have to “just know” how he feels about her without some regular expressions of affection or thoughtfulness. It lets us know you don’t take us or the relationship for granted. Plus it feels nice. Women need to feel nice and attended to. Mess around and she’ll find someone else to give her the attention she wants.
2. “That’s it. Right there.” means exactly that.
Slim and RCLS brought up this point and it immediately resonated with me. When she says “Don’t move,” or “Just like that,” dammit she means it. I have missed too many Os because dude wanted to get creative and start thinking independently at the wrong moment. All it takes is 1 second for the O to run away. Maybe she’ll return soon, but one can never be too sure. Please fellas, follow her directions. Now is not the time to wonder if she meant what she said. Along the same lines…
3. Not all of us like to be held right after the big O.
Men seem to have this idea that all women like to be held right after the big One. Not true. Some of us need a couple minutes before we get back in the game. If you did it right, she’s probably going through a lot after yall found the O. She is trying to catch her breath, regain the feeling in her knees, and wants make sure what she experienced was real. So don’t feel pressured to hug her or caress her right away. Whilst you wait, maybe you should offer her a sandwich. We like those too.
4. Yes we do love shopping that much.
It doesn’t really matter what we are shopping for. If we are in Target, Ann Taylor or BCBG, we will be taking our time. Yes, I know I bought Scotts last time, but what if Charmin Ultra has something new to offer? So what she tried on 4 dresses and 2 suits. She needs to try on this last one just in case it looks better than the others. And so what if she gets pissed and doesn’t buy anything? She needed to know that she exhausted all of her options.
5. PMS is real.
It’s not something that we make up in our heads. The fluctuation in hormones does so many things to us, most of which we can only work to minimize. Getting more irritable, crying at the drop of a hat, or getting pissed about something seemingly small aren’t excuses for us to act out of character. Not all the time at least. Sometimes, we are just as surprised by the mood swings as you are. And those cravings for chocolate, ice cream, and other sweet snack-time-goodness are not excuses to break the diet. Its like something comes over us that we can’t control. I wish I could explain it better.
6. Sometimes, we actually do want to learn about the game.
Or how to play the video game. If we ask you to teach us how to play or explain the rules, and you are mean about it, you will likely be making your life less enjoyable. Just humor us. We are trying to be interested in what you like.
7. We too have bodily functions.
I know its gross to think about, but we do. We burp, pass gas, and even make number twos. Get over it.
8. We don’t like to be told to “Relax,” “Calm down,” “Chill out,” or that “Its not that serious.”
Any of the aforementioned words or phrases will likely upset us. And so will “defending” the person we think did us wrong. Whatever got us riled up in the first place clearly mattered to us, hence the raised voice, neck rollin’, animated hand gestures, and the tight facial expression. You telling us to chill or relax will warrant a response similar to this: “Don’t tell me how I should or should not feel. Stop minimizing my emotions.” Of course, there will be times when we will need a verbal shaking or a stern talking-to, but most of the time we just need to feel like we got our point across. Even if you aren’t really paying attention, look the part. She’ll think you’re all attentive and whatnot.
Okay, I’m done. I left the last two spots for yall to add to the list. Have fun with it.
My list-game is proppa,
152 Responses to “Things Men Just Don’t Get”
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I agree with everything Ms. Jenkins said.
I want to add that we do not always want to make love. Sometimes we want bang me against the wall, pull my hair, deep as it goes, fast as you can straight fycking.
And sometimes we want to be left alone and allowed to watch Lifetime, Oxygen, Bravo, etc…. Much like you wanna be left alone to watch the game… Don’t bother us during these times cause we might be PMSing and you might be on Snapped.
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LaLa Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:33 am
CO SIGN FOR DAYS!!! DAYYYYYSS!
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insomN.I.A. Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Don’t bother us during these times cause we might be PMSing and you might be on Snapped.
DEAD… walking into the light.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:49 am
I too am **DEAD**
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ASmith Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:42 am
First post and I’m out for the count too.
Done and done.
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Jaci Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:30 am
And every single one of yall know I’m telling the straight up truth.
Lots of times I watch Snapped and I see that the men did minimal things or heck nothing at all and end up outside in the the desert as a skull.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Snapped is gangsta
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:13 am
What’s Snapped?
TV show?
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yo, this for my N.I.A., though, special delivery.... Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Only the best show ever… A show about women killing their husbands, BFs, lovers, mothers, the other woman… basically, women committing murder… some innocent, but most are guilty.
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MyzDevyneOne Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Jaci, I don’t know you, but I love you. Tell them AGAIN! Can a sista get broke off sometimes? And DAMMIT, you should KNOW BETTA than to try to ask me about somethin when RHOA or True Blood is on! Dammnit! LOL
/rant
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ok good list miss jenkins…
imma just start @ #8..seriously dudes this is a good one. please please please dont tell me “its not that serious” if thats what u think , fine keep that ish to yourself and just address the issue @ hand ..cause as stated above imma go from angry to psycho in a second if you start to downplay my feelings!
#4- shopping should be a no brainer @ this point. me and my rommie spent 25 minutes in a store talking about one flat iron, comparing prices, looking up reviews on our phones. YES IT IS JUST THAT SERIOUS!
and of course i competely co sign “thats it, right there” like dude this is not the time to start with new tricks,dips and pop lock n drop its. do just what you are, yup right there, keep goin and yessss. thumbs up!
i have one to add to the list:
its really not about being your girlfriend.
like dudes really get scared when ladies wanna have “the talk” about moving from so called talking to being together better known as girlfriend/boyfriend.
guys really think we are just looking for that title when i honestly can say its not really about what you call me but please treat me with respect/love and honest and i am all yours. it only matters whats between the 2 people. i know what i am to you. i dont have to have matching outfits to know what position i hold. but this is only for the real men who can handle a situation like that. holla !
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Jaci Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:47 am
*high fives*
I don’t really need titles on everything either. I just need you to not disrespect home… That’s all I’ve ever said!
YES!
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Great list, Miss Jenkins.
And I agree with Jaci.
Most of the timeSometimes, we want to be bent over the arm chair and phucked hard and fast. Deep slow strokes are good, but deep, fast, “beating it up” strokes are fantastic!! Mmm Mmm good…Ok…. I need to go to bed now.
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When we say “I don’t wanna talk about it” once – we really do want to talk about it. If we say it again – we really are done talking about it.
When we say, “Call me that one more time and see what happens.” You really don’t want to see what happens, stop pushing. And when we don’t say anything at all, like have gone stealth mode silent… hide your instant grits and sleep with one eye open. I’m just sayin’. Now that you know the code. Follow accordingly.
When you say “I’ll call you later” and that call comes six days later and not six hours later, don’t be mad that we’ve moved on to one of your friends who dials back directly. As Miss Jenkins said in number 1 – we’re all about the affirmation.
When you say, “I love you baby,” we believe you. When you continuously and egregiously act contrary to those words we no longer believe anything else you say.
Not all of us are looking for forever with you. We’ve already made our pre-game assessment and deemed you good for stop, drop and roll… and little else. When we tell you up front it’s not about being your girlfriend, believe that. If we change our minds, we’ll let you know.
That’s it.
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ASmith Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:44 am
And when we don’t say anything at all, like have gone stealth mode silent… hide your instant grits and sleep with one eye open. I’m just sayin’.
Know this rule, understand this rule, make this rule your second BFF.
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Jaci Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Wooohoooo!
TELL THEM….
Don’t make us have to tell you STFU… one.step.from.being algreened.
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LittleMissSunshine Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:55 am
“Not all of us are looking for forever with you. We’ve already made our pre-game assessment and deemed you good for stop, drop and roll… and little else. When we tell you up front it’s not about being your girlfriend, believe that. If we change our minds, we’ll let you know.”
co.sign.
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WithRainbowSprinkles Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
ditto what she said…
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MyzDevyneOne Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
When you say, “I love you baby,” we believe you. When you continuously and egregiously act contrary to those words we no longer believe anything else you say.
Lawd, lawd! *hand raised* PRRREEEEAAAACHHH!
Like Chrisette told y’all, its What You Do!!
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CO-Sign…amen and halleluyer!!
Especially number 8! Don’t tell me not to be upset…booooyyy… you better just move away from me. Don’t poopoo my feelings…that’ll get you cut.
CO-sign Jaci too…if you just come walking in the door from work, say “hey Baby” and wink at me and my clothes just magically disappear….I’m looking for an appointment with DaddyLongStroke…negro just take it, make me run, let me know ” Dere is a Gawd.” Shut up and let me know about your day later b/c right this second, I ain’t interested.
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Damn you Miss Jenkins and your rebuttal ass!
Good list though. I must address a few things though as they pertain to the post in general.
1. With regard to the first one, I know this is how yall are and I’ma let you finish but…one can’t expect someone to do what they are not comfortable or willing to do themselves. Most men actually don’t have problems showing signs of affection. It seems to be more the case that these signs are not enough for what yall want/need. And while we are throwing around all of these feelings and signs of affection, what will yall be doing other than eating it up?
2. And perhaps this isn’t surprise, but within the first few comments I’m starting to see a pattern of women being more on the sexual stuff than men. No wonder sex posts always win in blog world. #takethattakethat
3. We understand you love shopping. However, we know that our opinions will ultimately not matter that much unless you’re picking out lingerie.lol. So if I say yeah, that looks cool. Don’t huff and puff about me being direct enough. I’ll tell you if it’s ugly and you’ll prolly know already.
4. About #6, sit on my joystick and you can play the game all nite long.lol.
5. About #7, yall tinkle and occasionally poot. That’s it.
6. About #8, alright alright we’re all guilty of this. Sigh…yes hun. yes dear. come hither dear. i got you dear. tell me all about it dear. Followed by some really emo message that makes her say aww or rip off your clothes.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:55 am
1. “what will yall be doing other than eating it up?”
Trust…if I feel appreciated and KNOW you appreciate me, and you show me… it is reciprocated, whether it’s your favorite meal, whether it’s surprising you with tickets to a game, event (whatever you like)…that video game that you’ve had your eye on. Just show me that you’re paying attention to me not just “uh-huhing me”…it’s corny but true, it’s the little things that get me. It’s not even the material stuff. Like if I told you about a problem I had on Monday and you remember to ask me on Thursday and you REALLY REALLY listen…? Talk about me being a puddle of ‘aaaaaaaawwww’.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:57 am
LOL at puddle of “awwwwww”.
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Okay I might be alone on this one but….
I don’t always want to go for hours without breaks. I like quickies, too, especially when I got other ish to do. I don’t know what woman got it into every mans head that we always want Don Juan Stallionairre, but sometimes, I just wanna be banged hard, rough, deep, and for ten minutes cuz Grey’s Anatomy comes on in 12. Leave the money on the dresser, thanks.
Also, we women like a Little jealousy. Notice I said a *little. You don’t have to play tough guy and act like it doesn’t phase you when I swoon at Johnny Depp or Idris Elba. I wouldn’t do it in front of you if I didn’t want you to tell me you’d whoop his @$$ if you saw him on the street. At least give me a I wish you would look. In addition to #1 on Miss J’s list, it makes us feel special and desired. But don’t take it too far. Draw the line somewhere between celebrities and male friends…
Ummm, and the reason we want chocolate on the rag is bcuz it has endorphins that make us feel happy when we’re feeling blue, and that balance the hormones in our body. That means there’s a medical reason we need it. That means go get me some (and pick up some tampons while you’re at the store – super plus, thanks boo).
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Joey you said alot.
quickies. quickies.
The only problem with a quickie is the negative connotation is has on males. Until it is established that I am the greatest of all-time, I am going to put in work in an effort to kill you. So if you like quickies, you better make that point clear early. Even so, there will be times where I am to check if I still got it… and you will be my guinea pig.
And (since we are talking about quickies, lets get it all out in the open) the definition of a quickie is having $3xual relations until the soonest possible momment for a man to bust off. In quickie mode, your O is completely irrelevant. I’m not going to hold it for you during a quickie, b/c once I start holding it I go from quickie mode to pleasure p it become hard to bust one out. The quickie turns into a “I can’t finish” marathon. Waiting for the cannon to shoot is no fun.
If you look at one of my freinds funny there will be a triz, but you will not getting any ring. I know how to share…
No self respecting man should ever buy women’s health products. I should never have to see any pads or plugs. Put that in a place I wont look, like in the oven. Also, I am not carrying your bag while you shop. Without a doubt, the quickest way to emasculate a man.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Depends on the position..if I want a quickie I’ll assume that position, after that..do what you gon do sweets.
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Jaci Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I swear you are lying.
You will hold my purse and I will do ungodly things to you in the dressing room.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
If holding the purse means I can get wopped down in the dressing room or deliver speedy pumps, I’m wit it.
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AMEN Miss Jenkins. Great list. I’d also like to add:
I am not the keeper of your ish. I do not know where your durag is nor do I know what the hell you did with your left trouser sock. I know I am maternal & womanly and all, but that does not make me the keeper of all things yours.
Ammendum to #4, if you make the smart choice to stay home while I am shopping, no matter what store I am in, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, call me a gazillion times asking me what time am i coming home because you are hungry. It is annoying & when I rush home only to find you’ve been laying around and could’ve made yourself something to eat, I will be pissed beyond all points of pisstivity.
Also, do not ever tell me or try to intervene with any of my vices. I am
strung outaddicted to coffee & soda. Yes I know its bad for my health but god damn it STFU & let me enjoy my damn caffeine.Lastly, at the end of the day, all I want is a god damn UNDISTURBED shower. Do not come in trying to get some buns, I don’t really want to hear about your day, Nor do I want to know about the game at this point. I just want to wash my ass in peace.
tis all.
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max Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:45 am
COSIGN to this! my name is not http://www.findit.com.
also have to add: we do not need you to fix everything. just because we tell you about a problem, it does not mean you have to solve it. all you have to do is empathize (and per #8 do NOT tell us we are wrong)
oh yeah and sometimes hitting the big O is not about you. and if i say i’m not gonna get there it is not a challenge for you to pull out your best moves in order to assert your sexual prowess. that will only make me chafe.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:05 am
“oh yeah and sometimes hitting the big O is not about you. and if i say i’m not gonna get there it is not a challenge for you to pull out your best moves in order to assert your sexual prowess. that will only make me chafe.”
I have heard that before… it is an insult to my paynus. You know how many women would die for this 10 inc… 7 inc….. 4inches of pleasure! How dare you not shake and tremble at the very sight of me a la nude.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:08 am
“go into the light Carol Anne”
DEAD!!!
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yo, this for my N.I.A., though, special delivery.... Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:11 am
You know how many women would die for this 10 inc… 7 inc….. 4inches of pleasure!
lol @ the incredible shrinking peen…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Must be a cold day.lol.
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WithRainbowSprinkles Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
i dunno…i have to disagree a lil…if i have a problem, i think it asserts your manliness to try to fix it…i like it…if i’m hungry, feed me…if someone looks at me wrong, kick him/her…if i can’t afford smthg, buy it for me (within reason)…etc
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Co-Sign the shower…DAYUM…can I bathe?!!
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Peyso Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Why would u bathe? I thought ya jus naturally smelled that good
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:07 am
*poking Peyso in the eye* boy…! this vanilla-coconut goodness just don’t happen, lol
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Also, just because you know how to hold a hammer, does that mean you are capable of fixing everything. Instructions are instructions for a very reason. They are to instruct you on how to do stuff. Read them. Not use it for decoration.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Dudes still wear durags?
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:41 am
wave game proper. hunny wears it before sleep. his equivalent to my wrap scarf.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:57 am
lol. true. I just hope he doesn’t have that line in his forehead in the morning or that “the-durag-doesnt-reach-right-here-on-the-back-of-my-head” patch in the back.
#justsayin…
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:23 am
lmaoooooo. i am dead @ “the-durag-doesnt-reach-right-here-on-the-back-of-my-head” patch.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
LMAO!!! Whhhyyyyyy do I now have a name for the patch that jus ain’t right?! LOL
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Its soo not a good look for your waves to stop spinning so abruptly…not a good look at all.
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Ash Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
“Lastly, at the end of the day, all I want is a god damn UNDISTURBED shower. Do not come in trying to get some buns, I don’t really want to hear about your day, Nor do I want to know about the game at this point. I just want to wash my ass in peace.
tis all.”
This is THE TRUTH! Just let me wash the day off and I’m all yours for the rest of the night. I just need the hot water to wash away the stress, dirt and ugh! of the day…Glad I’m not the only one…
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I am very, very guilty of number 8 but I think its the nature of men or at least me. I’m very solution oriented and I figure you should be. I dont see why someone would wanna talk about it instead of being about it. For most guys its not a calm down because we dont care, its a calm down so we can think of how to fix the issue.
I learned #2 and #3, freshman year thanks to the senior women who were willing to teach. My SO thanks you.
I got no problem w/ #6 but if you got a college degree I shouldnt have to explain it to you like you’re in kindergardn
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:56 am
#6 is a lie. They are just thirsty for attention and are using the game as an excuse.
Don’t be fooled!
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Shugah…speak for yourself! You don’t want to see me with God Of War….what?! That’s my game! Best believe I’ll be one of those fools standing in somebody’s line at the end of March waiting for my copy…hmph! LOL
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:56 am
see that’s the thing about number 8…stop trying to fix it all the time, especially if I didn’t ask you to.
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Peyso Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:58 am
If you dont want my opinion or help than why are you telling me about it in a matter that would imply that you would?
How are we suppose to know when or how we should help?
Men had to used to be mind readers….
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Nope…I’ll tell you…I’ve learned that much. I preface or end with “Baby what would you do…” but see that where that fine line comes in…you’re assuming she needs help. She’s assuming that she can talk to you without you offering help if she wants to vent.
That’s something y’all have to work out. That’s something that women need to make clear also.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:43 am
We are just asking you to listen, not fix all the time.
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Peyso Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:12 am
how am i supposed to know when?
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:37 am
that is like asking us to be stupid.
If we can see a solution to your problem why shouldn’t we say it. If I can clearly see you are acting wrong or irrationally why wouldn’t I say it?
Its the truth.
You wouldn’t be upset in the first place if you listen to your head…
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
*sigh* I repeat…just listen…
See..y’all are doing JUST what #8 describes..y’all trying to solve something we didn’t ask you to.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
B/C I can solve!
Why would you leave something unsolved?
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
So you’re just going to ignore “we didn’t ask you to” huh? Nobody is asking you to play dumb. We just want you to listen…
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Peyso Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
the thing is when you listen and dont say anything women go “You aint got nothing to say about it? No feelings?”
Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Peyso, there’s a difference between sitting there looking like a lump on a log and contributing to the conversation. Ask her what SHE wants to do about the situation instead of telling her what YOU would you do, or thinks she should (unless she asks). Chances are she already knows what she’s going to do but she wants to talk to you anyway, not to get a solution but to get it off her chest. Half the time she doesn’t even need co-signing (she can get that from her girls), she wants her man, you, to listen and talk WITH her, not over her.
9. When I say “Don’t Worry About It,” be worried….very worried. Keep one eye open like OneChele said.
10. Don’t ask me why I have 10 pairs of black shoes that look the same. You wouldn’t understand…maybe you would – you have as many pairs of sneakers/video games/CD’s, etc.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:11 am
For serious!! NO..I can’t wear THESE black shoes with THOSE jeans…boy hush up and let me get dressed, lol
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Dear Miss Jenkins,
Boooooooooooooooooo
I could tell its a good list b/c I am clearly offended by every point you made. When Slim and RCLS did there list my boo said “I see you are not the only who feels that way.” This list enforces the fact that I have a great person. B/c the faults in her that I can’t stand are apparently in every woman. The funny part is I know all these things… but refuse to comply to these rules.
Following the list = unhappy CHeeKZ.
1,4,5, & 8 all promote censorship. I don’t think I should be saying what you want to hear. What happened to the truth will set you free? The truth of the matter is if your upset its prob in the wrong. Your PMS is the reason you need to chill and relax. I dismiss your feelings b/c you have no control of your hormones. AND you look fat in either dress lets not waist an hour deciding what ugly unattractive European overpriced designer you are buying.
2 = Lactic Acid. If that is it and it needs to be right there.. you wouldn’t be able to tell me that is it and it needs to be right there.. its already there and when its there you can’t talk. I wish women could see other women have orgasms you would get a kick out of the expressions y’all make.
And another thing! When I’m down there licking the man in the boat like a seadog who misses his owner, mind my ears! I put in all that work just to have you spasm and smash your thighs against the side of my head! Not cool homey.
7 is a complete lie. Only Tranny’s fart, its a proven fact. I put my paynus in there, why would you ruin it by using that hole to take a dump?!? You disgust me Miss Jenkins, I’ll never be able to look at your bootyhole the same way again.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:10 am
“And another thing! When I’m down there licking the man in the boat like a seadog who misses his owner, mind my ears! I put in all that work just to have you spasm and smash your thighs against the side of my head! Not cool homey.”
If you weren’t good at it you wouldn’t have to worry about it so hush up!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
so you are telling me to eat poorly?
than I would have to do it less……….
BRILLANT!
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
….I wish you would…
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:02 am
LOL @ #7 being a complete lie. Silly goose.
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Numba 7 is a complete lie, huh? So, women are like comic book characters? We “poot” or “toot”?
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
you are underestimating how much I love big butts….
I’m not an atheist, I’m a 7th Day Buttist. I worship phat butts. I refuse to believe that any human being would use a woman’s juicy seat cushions for such horrific activities. That is like wipping your ass with a bible.
Esp you Cheekie, someone who has been blessed by the BootyGods with a full and welcoming landing pad for my waist (or face) would respect my religion and not desecrate one of my temples with fecal matter.
Now be a good girl.. get out that shower and come sit on my face. Now you don’t have to worry about me solving your problems, ill do all the listening you want b/c I can’t breathe.. and I like it.
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Death by booty…ah well, at least you died happy.
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blkberri Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
“ill do all the listening you want b/c I can’t breathe.. and I like it.”
I like your style.=)
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No.8:
I cant STAND that!
i dont give a fyck if its not a big deal for you…OBVIOUSLY it is for me or I wouldnt be upset about it
know role and play your position
either fyck me to forget, listen to me talk, or go make us a sandwich (no tomatoes please)
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
So if you’re telling a dude that you’re upset or feel a certain way and he says “take off yo clothes so can I break you off with some of this jungle d*ck so that you forget about your problems”, that would be okay?
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:48 am
yes.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Point noted. I’ma keep a tribal loin cloth around the crib just in case.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:57 am
that’ll just get in the way
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:02 am
yeah word. Just be nekked.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
So if you’re telling a dude that you’re upset or feel a certain way and he says “take off yo clothes so can I break you off with some of this jungle d*ck so that you forget about your problems”, that would be okay?
I will be using that quote VERBATIM.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:09 am
The loin cloth is for theatrics of the jungle d*ck. It’s also to cover the flaccid piece for a few seconds.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:19 am
You Tarzan, Me Jane…get to it!
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Call the Coroner!!
LMAOOO
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Actually I can attest to the fact about sex being a good pacifier for stress for women. After extensive experimentation an probing, I found the follow fact to be true:
Sex for women serves as headache medicine, addictive depressant (to cool the eff out), addictive stimulant (as a pick her up… literally), a hobby, emotional reinforcement, hormonal stabilizers, mental stabilizers, caffeinated coffee, and sleeping pills ALLLLL rolled up into one. There may be more but I’m just saying… Now the sporadic need for a nice fyck under one of the functions listed about is on top of regular prescription defined by the agreement/relationship. Many a day I had to miss lunch for a meeting. But as Kat Williams says: if we can fyck… So I guess it works out.
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i don’t have a problem with this list. i’m on point like that. #onmycockyshit. actually i do. number 5. hormonal imbalance or not. that doesn’t give you the right to act like a bitch. cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. smh.
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LoudPen Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Homie, I promise we can’t help it…for real. We feel fine one minute & the next we hate you. It’s crazy.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Lol. Like I mentioned, some broads do take it too far and make it an excuse, but for the average women, she’s not throwing things around the room just because she wants to and blames it on the PMS…it takes a lot of effort to notice and control what you can’t–the hormonal change. Its real out there. lol
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My faves from this list were 1, 3, 4, 5 & 8. Reasons:
1. Should be a given, but, if women are emotional creatures who like to talk of course we want you (our man) to tell us that you like us maybe even love us.
3. Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT effin touch me after the encounter. I hate that. I don’t care if you’re my lover, quick bang, or friend I don’t like to be touched after. I need to process what just happened and figure out if I’m going to let you perform again.
4. I grew up in the mall & I’m addicted to shopping. I must look at every item, leave it alone, continue shopping & then come back to the item. Then, I must try it out on & discuss w/ my shopping partner if the item is worth its price, decide where I can wear it, and decide if I have anything to match it. This a process…deal with it.
5. I was relunctant to admit that PMS is real b/c I didn’t get it until recently. However, it is very real & gets worse as we age. To avoid being labeled un-dateable I avoid males the week before, during, and after. Thus I’m only available for a week & a half. Catch me if you can.
8. I stopped dating someone after his repeated use of calm down. Nuff said.
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I”d like to add……a womans intuition is very real, so real you can bank on it, esp when emotions aren’t clouding it, and her third eye is known to be wide open, almost one with E.S.P….so if we warn you about a particular situation and/or person don’t discount it, take heed!
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Highfive Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
AMEN TO THIS.
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I agree, cept with the shopping part. I hate shopping. I don’t have the kind of patience. I get in, blow $300, and get out. I don’t try things on, I just buy. I do keep receipts though. LOL I also shop online alot because I just hate walking around stores. I can do that all day though.
I’m not one for Lifetime, O, etc. I’d probably be the one watching football all day saturday and sunday, so I don’t know where me and a guy would line up on that issue. Probably argue over who’s going to get up and get the snacks during timeouts. LOL
Everything else.. co-sign. I hate that “It’s not that serious” crap. HATE it.
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#4 is on the money
#6 is a good one also, I am super competitive and I will learn your video games just so I can beat you ha!
I would like to add 1 thing I think Men don’t get though and its that sometimes Women just aren’t listening, we totally zone you out if you step to us talking about the Best Rapper Alive, or a sport that were not into, or sneakers, there are some things we do not care for and never will, no matter how much we love. Also, we don’t want to hear your hardcore rap music first thing in the morning or ever.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 10:45 am
The music thing can go both ways. Rap can put me in an upbeat mood just as your *insert what you listen to* can do the same for you. Maybe we should both just turn off the tunes.
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Snaps for the kids!
I love the entire list but #2, #3 and #8 are really on task.
Having a man be spontaneous when you’re about to climb the big O and you request that he doesn’t move is like finding out as a kid that santa isn’t real and you gotta rely on selfish parents.
Please don’t touch me when we’re done unless you’ve got something else planned. Otherwise I’ll see you in the morning (after lunch, at the dinner table, etc…).
And your job as the boyfriend is not to tell me to calm down but to agree with me and say the heffa was wrong even if she was right. Chances are if I’m telling you about it I’m still upset. Let’s leave rational for later.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
“Chances are if I’m telling you about it I’m still upset. Let’s leave rational for later.”
Word. When people (men or women) are emotional about something, rationality don’t work. That’s why people get punched in the face or slapped ‘cross the mouf. They don’t want to hear about rationality and solutions.
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:41 am
“Chances are if I’m telling you about it I’m still upset. Let’s leave rational for later.”
*dap* Yes, indeed.
Rationality and Emotions mix like Wendy Williams and a mirror.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
“Rationality and Emotions mix like Wendy Williams and a mirror.
iHate you!! LMAO!!!
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yeah I said it! lmao…
dusts off the controller and starts practicingGood list Miss Jenkins. I can’t think of anything else at the moment to add. I guess I’m on the only one here who doesn’t get PMS? lol
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I only have reservation with #4. Seriously, we have technology…do the research @ home, come to the store focused, and get the hell on! 4 hours in macy’s to come out w/ some stockings??????!!!!!!!! How is that ever cool?
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:17 am
at least its not bra shopping…
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Now that I can help with!
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Yeah…okay…your tail’ll be mad after 10 minutes.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
No… I’ve got patience when it comes to VS. And usually I’m rewarded for it at the end of the day.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
you’re assuming its VS, lol
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Seattle Washington Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Hey if you want to get sexually harassed in the middle of Target or the Gap, that’s cool too. Then again, I will ogle my shorty and make indecent comments to her wherever we are, so… yeah that’s not much of a change.
You may just want to order off the site if you’re with me. Next day delivery though.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Lawd…iCan’t with you!!
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:29 am
“Seriously, we have technology…do the research @ home, come to the store focused, and get the hell on! 4 hours in macy’s to come out w/ some stockings??????!!!!!!!! ”
I really do try to do this, but sometimes online Macy’s doesn’t have everything shown online at stores nor do they show all the things they have at stores online. So…there.
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Reecie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:35 am
sometimes we go just to look around.
I prefer to shop alone. I go to the mall often, and leave with nothing if thats how I choose to spend my afternoon. I’m “window shopping” online right now. usually doing this, I know what I want when I’m ready to buy–but I have to check all the stores to make sure. it is what it is. lol
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I co-sign everything.
I would like to add, stop sayin “why you trippen” to everything! Sometimes its just a basic question with no underlying meaning behind it. Or we just want to vent about something….just shut up and listen for goodness sake!
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Good look, Tiff!
“8. We don’t like to be told to “Relax,” “Calm down,” “Chill out,” or that “Its not that serious.””
YES. In addition to doing the exact opposite of what you’re trying to accomplish and upsetting us even more, that ish just seems plain patronizing. It’s like patting us on the head all, “Aw, count to ten…simmer down, it’s gonna be okay”. Yeah, it’s gonna be okay after I let out this much-needed effing venting session. Yes, when we get upset, think of it as an “Eff ‘em Friday”, but on a Tuesday.
“4. Yes we do love shopping that much.”
I’m usually the type of girl to do a nicca a favor with this one because I actually prefer to do this ALONE. I hate someone watching me with “hurry up” eyes. Sighing all loud and ish. Stay your arse home. You’ll be doing us both the favor.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
But that’s why we have it on Friday. Not everyday. No one wants to hear you complain e v e r y d a y. Even the northern most point of Alaska has some beautiful days.
You gotta be mad all the time? C’mon baby, you going to gangbang on dessert cuz?
Furthermore, we’re not trying to downgrade your feelings. Personally, I hate seeing my shorty upset over b.s. The broad that’s plotting your demise at work is lower than your pay grade. Next time she gives you the side eye, tell her that her pupils remind of you of all those 0’s in your check.
C’mon baby, it’s going to be ok. Now just lay on your stomach…
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
“But that’s why we have it on Friday. Not everyday. No one wants to hear you complain e v e r y d a y. ”
I didn’t say everyday, though. But don’t front, ya’ll would do that “Calm down, relax…” ish even if we did complained one day a week.
“Furthermore, we’re not trying to downgrade your feelings.”
That may be the case, but sometimes you just gotta let a sista vent. We let ya’ll
throw tantrumshulk out when need be, let us cry us some rivers.Reply
Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
“Next time she gives you the side eye, tell her that her pupils remind of you of all those 0’s in your check. ”
No words…
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“We aren’t saying that we need to be told every 5 minutes that you miss us, love us or are thinking about us. But you need to remember to say those things anyway.”
This is the #ultimateswindle. Yall DEF do need to be told every 5 minutes. Sometimes, if yall have doubts about how we feel, you’ll want to hear it as many times possible until you’re satisfied, which is NEVER!
Yall don’t realize just how many times guys reassure you that they love you. If i have to say ti for the sake of saying it, then it doesn’t mean as much to me. I told an ex that once and it didnt end up well, which is why at times im convinced yall don’t want to hear the truth.
Can I get a witness?!
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:37 am
No you can’t.
Just kidding.
“Yall don’t realize just how many times guys reassure you that they love you.”
Aight bet. What does said reassure looks like, since it doesn’t look like the explicit “I miss you” stuff we ask for. Just so we know what to look for next time.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Duly witnessed
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 11:54 am
For serious b/c a random “What’s up wth you?” while you’re playing a game is not going to be seen as concern, lol
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I’m going to co-sign my signature 1,000 times and have it lookin’ like my twitter page. This is the ultimate swindle.
For some women it does take gestures every 5-10 minutes because they second guess everything and want something done in a particular way that totally ignores who we are as a person. And I’m totally with the not saying things just for the sake of saying it. Tomfoolery. Shenanigans. Houlihoos. Hijinks.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
by the same token, you’re ignoring who she is if she needs and wants that kind of reassurance from you.
Question though do you (Men) ask what kind of reassurance she needs? Or do you just get annoyed when she tells you and call shenanigans?
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
“by the same token, you’re ignoring who she is if she needs and wants that kind of reassurance from you.”
Co-sign! You made a very grandeur point, Smiley Face. The key is compromise! There needs to be an effort on both parts to appease and fulfill the other, while being mindful of and maintaining the level of comfort for both parties.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Can I just point out that compromise is a relative term and often manipulated by people to mean “you do what I say or I’ll manipulate you into thinking that you are doing this because you want to.”lol. I know some people consider themselves compromising because they think before they say certain things in front of their sig other for whatever reason when it’s really just common courtesy. I think that “do on to others as you would want done to you” or whatever should apply more so than compromise.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
We dont ask because we should know already through the non verbal signals you throw. If we act accordingly and get a negative reaction, then and ONLY then, should you ask. lol
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Yea, but sometimes y’all are given verbal queues (read: we TELL you) and act like y’all still don’t know…
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
You know why we act like we don’t know? Because sometimes no words spoken will cause less conflict than the truth…. and yall be talkin our heads off, and sh*t
For me to speak further would mean me losing my man card
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
What? So you’re just gonna sit there looking at me looking at you?! …and you don’t think THAT would make her mad?
Streetztalk Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
If I dont answer you will u be mad?
Streetztalk Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Reassurance looks like
“Love you Babe’ “you make me feel special”
etc etc
No Emo
Its also in our actions. If he trusts you with stuff he normally doesnt trust other with, thats LOVE
If he lets you be great whe you and I both knwo you’re clearly wildin out, THATS LOVE
If he’ll converse with you while you’re takin a sh*t inside the bathroom or while hes takin a shower? THATS LOVE
I guess showing that you love is the exception to the “actions speak louder than words” rule. Its a paradox even!
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Pastor Streetz has me stomping my feet, shedding tears with hand(s) raised while shouting “yess. yess!” in cadence with the other churchgoers. I just went and dove in a pool of holy water as a result of this comment because I wanted to be baptized 200 times over…and I can barely swim. I believe! I belieeeeeeeeeve! Loaves, Fishes, and Truth!
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Boy, you need to stop sometimes…lol
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Amen Bishop (lol)!
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
I will deliver you commentors in 3 ways…. to wash the iniquity of your prejudice in the seas of Galilee!
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
lol…you play too much!
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At 33 I dont need to be told women shit stink too nor that PMS is real if any man on these blogs finds any of this stuff about women “icky” he needs to be castrated!!!
Put a brother on to the more nuanced and subtle differences between men and women, screw these grown ass toys r us boys to men who STILL cant “get” a women’s cycle or her body in general
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
damn son…
That wasn’t the purpose of this post, but you do pose a good similar, yet different topic…
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Reecie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
yeah he did. first time I was like “word, I feel that”. lol
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Cheekie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Hmm…great point. That would be a more challenging and interesting post ThreeWays crew!
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
hahaha. I agree. You went hard. lol
On the other hand, people do be running around with the cootties. I’m silly, I know. I’m joking, but not really, sort of. lol
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Sorry I’m late…had to carve pumpkins wit da kids (uhm…otha people’s kids btw).
Yea I love this list, especially #1 and #8. With regard to #1, I’d add a bit of an addendum:
Do not confuse a woman’s independence and confidence in other areas of her life (e.g., at work, financially, etc.) with the dependence necessary within the confines of an intimate relationship. Just because I’m hot sh*t at work, I hold my own financially, and am capable of doing many things, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to still be the man and do or offer to do the things I’m very well capable of doing. Perhaps, I’ve always done these things because I’ve had to, not because I wanted to?
Additionally, a woman
wantsneeds to be validated by her man. (Note: I did not say a woman needs to be validated by just anyone.) Yea, we talk about how good we look, and we do, indeed, know we look good. But there’s nothin like hearing your boo say “girrrl, you look good” or “baby, I love you [ this ] much.”This may sound extra, but I think people in relationships should think to themselves every now and again, “What have I done for her/him lately?” When’s the last time you said ‘I love you’? When’s the last time you surprised her/him with her/his favorite something? In a woman’s case, we just want to know we’re thought about.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
“This may sound extra, but I think people in relationships should think to themselves every now and again, “What have I done for her/him lately?” When’s the last time you said ‘I love you’? When’s the last time you surprised her/him with her/his favorite something? In a woman’s case, we just want to know we’re thought about.”
Not extra at all!! I do think though that when we a reassured in our relationships, that question comes along more frequently. When we are not reassured we question (or wonder about) his love for us more often than not.
I KNOW Mr Mister loves me b/c he shows it, my job is to make sure he knows I love him back.
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Would it help the men to look at it like this:
You listening to us tell the story and siding with us and telling us that the other person was HORRIDLY wrong, IS the problem-solver.
Anything else you offer is wrong and not the answer. K?
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I’m not a woman, but for #8b or #9 I’d like to add –
You (women) don’t take criticism well or at all.
It’s cool. It’s a part of dating a woman. I’ve learned to just chalk it up in certain situations and battle to the death on others. It’s really just a Puric victory if I do win, but sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe in. Yes, you’re spoiled (or other unflattering characteristic) and some times you need to know that to progress and have a bigger perspective. …Even if I am significantly wounded at the end of it all.
When you realize that I may be right (but never admit it – #10), I usually get nursed back to life.
So, I’ll take some lumps on bigger issues just to keep you in check.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Uber agree.
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Jaci Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Neither one of you knows what the heck you’re talking about.
I take criticism well…as do my sisters…
Just take my boo..who told me I had to STOP drinking…
I took that criticism extra well… then picked up my cup and said kiss my ass me and my Jack gon be happy without YOU!
See… I took it well!
^I’m so sarcastic.
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Reecie Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
well you are better than me cuz I can admit I don’t. LOL
he made really good points, and even though I think I’m right 90% of the time, when I’m truly not-I can admit it. and I appreciate when my man can make that known. at that point all can say is “damn bae, you right”.
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Miss Jenkins Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Don’t be showing up on here all late making good points and what not…
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Seattle Washington Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
If that’s the closest comment I’ll get to “Yeah Seattle, you’re right.” I’ll take it!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I will name my first born son Tacoma in honor of this comment….
CO-SIGN!
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Yea, but then the other kids in school will start calling him Taco…
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Fine…
I will name my 2nd son Jack Napier in honor of this comment.
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PERFECT
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I’m guilty of #8. lol
I’m slowly learning to put on a show while being like “WTF” in my head. But honestly, I think sometimes #8 will stem from us thinking we ‘know’ a solution even though ’solution’ may not be what’s needed. So a corollary of #8 would be to NEVER tell a woman how to think (unless she ASKS you). I say that because, saying “Relax” or “It’s not that serious,” could easily turn into: “It’s not that serious if you look at it like…” Just saying… To make it even more interesting, #8 is more likely to happen during a #5 because we are more likely to say “Relax” given we KNOW is a #5.
And a #9 would be that women DO expect to know certain unsaid things even when there’s no way for us to even know without some type of verbal or visual communication. A lady told me that, to them, it speaks to the connection that you two share. Some things we’ll get wrong and some we’ll get right… I know it’s expected of me regardless of what a woman says. I’ll probably get it wrong mostly given I don’t manufacture fortune cookies but it’s easier just to accept it that way sometimes… It’s just a part of being her guy… I think…
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Go hard or go home.
I like the straight talk on sex but I think the fellas want a percentage of the times yall just want the shit fucked outta you.
And I mean within the context of a relationship.
I don’t need numbers per se but is this more than half the time? (once we’ve est a pattern) or occasionally?
Yea I go hard what yall ladies want these metrosex dudes wit more colors than crayola?!
Again at 33 I am cool with the shoppin-just don’t give a shit that I don’t give a shit, all I will say is “can I see you in them bad ass shoes you was showing me on the web”, please comply.
Video games, I do way too much vid editing to care about em now I buy 2 a year that’s it don’t even dare ask about editin if its jus some curious geogre type interest.
I would rather you ladies explain what makes yall want to have a mans baby? I have mentioned on these blogs I have run into a slew of 30 summin women who are havin kids like they were 17.
Baby born baby daddy gone before the child is here.
When this happened under 25 I understood we were all still crazy young and no one had any education or life experience to couple with their education. But to be in your mid to late 20’s and in some cases ur 30’s and gettin pregnant on that eff that tip is so lame. Esp when both parents have degrees. Anyway I ran into one of these woman today she didn’t speak neither did I she did have her baby. I am still confused by the actions of these women and would hope some of the ladies here can shed light. Note I am seeing a woman like this now and her life is a total 180 she went from being in any city on a wkend to trying to get me to take her n her son a movie date. I don’t know her son like that, we haven’t dated long enuff or consistently for me to think about him like that. Mind you the original date was just me and her.
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I don’t mind you asking about the game, but if you were really interested in the game, ask me BEFORE it comes on. Don’t interrupt my man time with the football game with stupid questions like “If their chasing him, can he runs back the other way toward his own endzone.”
Or do some research and impress me with witty statements about the game while it’s going on. That’s sexy
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