Things Women Just Don’t Get
We, the incredible duo of RightCoastLexSteele and Slim Jackson, are here today to help better the world. We are advocates of efficiency and promoters of piece peace. Over the last 20 something years, we have made a variety of observations and encountered a plethora of obstacles involving the opposite sex. We also know that our brethren have suffered through equal if not worse foolishness in the confines of their relationships and/or “situations”. In an effort to eliminate headaches on both sides of the line, RCLS and Slim present to you the list of Things Women Just Don’t Get!
1. Our phones are rarely ever on full-sound alert and not always attached to our bodies.
One of the most irritating and perhaps most commonly asked questions by a significant other is “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” The answer is simple. We often keep our phones on vibrate or silent, and it’s not necessarily because we’re in the streets sliding off with your homegirl. Additionally, we do not keep them at our hips waiting for your call or your text message 24/7. If it is absolutely critical that you get a hold of us at that very moment, be creative. Calling 14 times in a row or sending a “where the f*ck are you?” text every 2 minutes won’t make us hear the vibration any quicker.
2. We don’t like talking on the phone
A major part of the reason our phones are usually no where to be found is because we hate talking on them. This is also the same reason that the landline jack doesn’t have an answering machine, cuz if you can’t leave a message, it’s practically like your phone call never happened, which saves us the hassle of returning calls. And don’t think it’s just you we don’t like talking to on the phone, it’s especially you; we don’t like talking to our parents, other loved ones, homeboys, telemarketers…no one. Even if Jesus called, we’d probably tell him to just shoot us an e-mail. Have you ever walked in on your man on a Sunday with the phone stuck to his ear talking to his homeboy about AP’s new cleats? Doubt it. Unless your man lives or is from Atlanta or DC, then maybe. (Yea, I said it.)
3. Just because we’re not clapping our hands rapidly and nodding aggressively at every word doesn’t mean we’re not listening.
Quite honestly, if we did nod our heads aggressively and clap our hands rapidly, that would be kinda gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that. But if we are dating you, you don’t want us to be gay. Just understand that we listen differently and that if you want to keep our attention, don’t keep going on tangents. Keep in mind, timing is everything. Typically, Sunday is not one of our listening days. Love ya.
4. Seriously, I do love you.
No matter the stage of the relationship, there comes a time in every man’s life when his boo claims that he doesn’t show enough affection, which if you translate back into woman-speak really means “You don’t reciprocate enough.” Just because he doesn’t shoot you back an “xo” at the end of every text or end every call with “I miss you/I love you” does not mean he doesn’t feel that way. It just means that he has a Y chromosome. If I had a nickel for everytime I heard my dad tell my mom “I love you”…well, I’d probably owe the nickel guy some money. And don’t “test” him by doing it when you know his boys or other women are around. That’s a demerit.
5. When we say don’t move, that means don’t move.
Now we understand that y’all like to feel a sense of accomplishment when it comes (hehe) to making your man or eff buddy blast off. However, you must understand that there are a certain number of strokes we need to get to before we authorize the deployment of the troops. We don’t speak in opposites like you do. So when we say don’t move or slow down, DO NOT speed up. Though the nut will feel great, we’ll just have to mark the encounter as an incomplete and document the inability to listen in your personnel file. Would you like it if the bus came early (hehe again) and you flagged it to slow down and the driver sped up and left you there? Well then.
6. We like head.
Just do it already. Gosh.
7. Our booboo will always stink.
No point in asking what we ate or what we’re doing in the bathroom. Just know that it will stink and that you really shouldn’t go in there for 10 minutes even if we did spray before we walked out.
8. You can’t be our everything 24/7.
We have lives and we have friends. We also have preferences on what we enjoy. Just because we don’t wanna do what you wanna do doesn’t mean we don’t care about you or that you have decreased significance in our lives. No, I’m not staying home with you while my boys go to Game 7 of the championships and no, I’m not just gonna go see this god awful movie because McDreamy kisses someone. $11.75 may not seem like much, but sometimes we just gotta draw the line.
So that’s our list for today. What do the men think of this? Any additions? How about the ladies? We’re sure you wanna tell us about things that men just don’t get. That’s fair game for today. Let’s do this…sideways. Get it? Got it? Good!
Yep. Omegas Can Write Good,
The Award Winning Slim Jackson & RightCoastLexSteele
P.S. The video below is an example of the tomfoolery of a woman who just doesn’t get it.
156 Responses to “Things Women Just Don’t Get”
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Aight, aight. You right. I pulled a “WHY AINT U ANSWER MY BBM?” attitude yesterday. But I was cranky yesterday too so that was outta the usual. You bogus for that ATL dig. Slim, you, you BETTA WATCH YO MOUF! lol Shoutout to Martin!
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SwDee Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
LOL!!!! i’ve been guilty!!!
i just hate when you bbm someone and you can see they read it but won’t answer you for hours! WTH!!!
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LOL. iCan’t front…with the exception of #5, this list is pretty on point. And was “Gosh” in #6 said in the Napoleon Dynamite voice? That’s how I read it and I giggled. lol. That said…
**drafting a response**
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:11 am
LOL @ the Napoleon Dynamite voice. Get your own tots! lol
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The randomness of #7 killed me.
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I thought I look at a recent topic as I’ve been on blast on a year old one. I really enjoyed this, and it was so on point, especially 1 and 2. None of my dating partners or women friends seem to get that I HATE THE PHONE! I will travel half way around the world to meet her, but I won’t cross the room to answer a vibrating! phone as I know she’s just calling…to talk. Really?
Also, glad to see that Omegas write good. Alphas write better, but Omegas writing good is a good thing. LOL! (Really just kidding.)
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LOL I’ll agree with this list! It made me laugh because I’ve done a few things on this list before (before I knew better lol)
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LMAO!! *tee hee hee* I’m soooo guilty of #5…and do it with a smirk like ‘gotcha’ *tee hee*. Believe me though he pays me back tenfold (not that I’m complaining *smirk* )
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:54 am
I’m sure your boo comes back strong with the 2nd round stamina. That’s when it’s no holds barred and you can go as hard and as fast as you like.lol.
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:39 pm
lol…yyaaaassss!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
hmm….
there are issues with round 2 that I feel go undiscussed on this board. Seattle & Slim act like its all good to just pick up and start over.
There is a law of equivalent exchange.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
No Full Metal Alchemist. lol
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
lmao! I knew you would get that.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I’m actually curious what you’re talking about Cheekz. Undiscussed issues? Do you mean like running the risk of not nutting at all?
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Most of this list implies to me as a woman also.
In addition,
Not all of us like to talk about everything. If I you ask how my day was, and I reply fine and don’t elaborate, I simply cannot think of anything interesting enough to tell you.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:52 am
This is crucial. I’m mad we didn’t put this one in our list!
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I love these list postings, here’s my take:
#1.Only bothers me when I start getting asked why I don’t pickup, plus I’m really bad with the phone, I’m not going to call a man out on that one.
#2. Even if you don’t like to talk on the phone, if your trying to see me for more than 1 date, we will have to have a good phone conversation. Its the only way I can judge if we are mentally compatible. I dated one guy who would call me all the time for like 5 minutes at a time, it got so annoying because we never got a chance to politic and he was always tying up my phone. I don’t mind missed calls but I do love some phone time at the end of the day.
#3. I’ve heard before.
#4. As long as you’ve expressed this love, I’m cool but I will never assume just because you clean the snow off my car then you must love me.
#5 is Hilarious, it should have had my name at the end of it. Female version would be “When I say don’t stop! Don’t Stop, don’t slow down and don’t ask questions! Funny thing is I think we reach these points at the same time. But usually after “don’t move” you guys only have about a minute left anyway, why end on a lame note.
#6. If she doesn’t get this yet, she probably never will.
#7. TMI
#8. That’s fair.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:54 am
I can def say that the “Dont move” message comes after the firing squad has deployed. lol.
You gotta say it up front.
“LISTEN. Im starting off slow. Let me be great”
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
“When I say don’t stop! Don’t Stop, don’t slow down and don’t ask questions!”
I’m getting a leg crap and you just keep laying there in pre-orgasm shock, starting to come than stoping than starting than stoping. Eventually I’ma be like “this girl doesn’t know what she wants and my arm/leg/back/neck/finger, forearm or tongue is burning with lactic acid.. I gotta switch strokes.”
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Renee Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
And these are the moments when your dedication to the job is being tested. A little lactic acid isn’t going to kill you lol.
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good list. I really have a problem with the phone one, but I guess I this enforces the notion that if a guy takes his phone with him everywhere–including the toilet/shower then something suspect is going on (had that convo a few weeks ago online). lol
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I think I would like to add one more to the list, if possible. This could probably go as #4A or #5.A.
a.) 5 Minute Post-Nut Rule:
After releasing a geyser of man juice, women need to accept the fact that men do not want to be touched directly after sex. This does not mean he doesn’t love you or chooses not to be affectionate, this means give us 5 MINUTES. 5 Minutes to think, revel or prepare for the next round.
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 am
ok i died a thousand deaths @ “geyser of man juice”.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 am
b) If I’m on top for the majority of the exercise, you have to sleep in the wet spot. Once the act is over and all the goes away adrenalin, fluids go from sexy to annoying real quick.
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 am
Good point!
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1. i hardly ever have my phone on loud or the ringer setting. it’s always on vibrate but usually i don’t have a problem returning phone calls or texts. that is unless i just don’t feel like it. *shrugs shoulders*
2. “Unless your man lives or is from Atlanta or DC, then maybe. (Yea, I said it.)”
-for real y’all. o_0 smh
3. it’s funny to me sometimes when women say that men don’t listen enough. i think women sometimes have a bigger problem with listening because they talk so much. lol
5. yeah that sucks (pause). pay back is a bitch though.
7. i don’t know bout y’all but my food comes out smelling exactly the way it did going in. if i had pasta for lunch then guess what the bathroom is gonna smell like? lol
roo to the good writing bruhz.
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ERin Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:57 am
“it’s funny to me sometimes when women say that men don’t listen enough. i think women sometimes have a bigger problem with listening because they talk so much. lol” – I am tired of hearing this. Not all women talk a lot. I’ve been around many guys that talked quite often.
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Tunde Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:34 am
i’m only speaking from personal experience which is what most people speak from. i’m sure there are men out there who talk more than women but just so happen am not one of those men.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
We don’t believe you…
You need more people.
Women TALK ABOUT NOTHING!
The most pointless conversation. I would rather have an elephant step on my sack than listen to you tell me about your day.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
“I would rather have an elephant step on my sack than listen to you tell me about your day.”
wow homie.lol.
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"Bullshi*!" ~ Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:51 pm
U’ll talk to me
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
So, if you don’t want us talking…I take that as going for ALL talking. Even through the microphone. Which contradicts #6.
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olivya23 Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
“7. i don’t know bout y’all but my food comes out smelling exactly the way it did going in. if i had pasta for lunch then guess what the bathroom is gonna smell like? lol”
LMAO! Foolishness!
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I think you actually wrote this list about me. Change the pronouns and this is a list I’d nail to the church door as well. Then again, I’ve been accused of having a hidden penis (no Lady GaGa).
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 am
Umm. You’re gonna have to elaborate on this accusation. You opened the
backdoor to it.lol.Reply
I have to add, that men like to focus. That means I dont wanna multi task so dont make me do it. I will not help you fold envelopes during the game. Commercials are all yours.
I also have to add, IT IS NOT OK TO WALK IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION WHEN THE XBOX OR PS3 IS ON.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 am
co-sign.
I would also like to add.. if I change the channel from the Giaint game during a commercial to the Yankee game.. there is no commercial and you get no time.
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Peyso Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 am
That is a valid addition.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 am
Mazel Tov.
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BLaCk Bruce WaYnE Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
Interesting points. Addition to this rule, female must be aware of the male’s allegiance and fanhood to respective teams. This will help better forecast dates and avoid conflicts with weekend activities.
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I actually agree with everything on it, and most of it can be applied to women. I hate talking on the phone, and I really hate checking voicemail. I have to tell my family/friends, unless it’s an emergency, do not leave me a message every time you call. If it’s that important and you want me to get the message right away, text me.
As for #5…hehehe. I take a lot of personal pleasure in hearing a man tell me not to move, and then I move just a little inside and out… gets him every time. Then he gets me the next time. However, when we say “right there” or “don’t stop”, don’t you dare stop or move from that spot, position, etc.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 am
“I hate talking on the phone, and I really hate checking voicemail. I have to tell my family/friends, unless it’s an emergency, do not leave me a message every time you call.”
I’m actually kind of the opposite. If you don’t leave a message, I feel it’s not important enough for me to call you back; it’s like your call never happened. And in the age of visual voicemail, checking msgs isn’t as cumbersome…plus, I can be selective.
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. and she's dancing like she never danced before... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 am
true… but my problem is that the message is usually something like just called to say hi, or some other non-important thing. I usually call everyone back within a day or 2, so the best way to let me know it’s serious and I should call back immejialey is to text me. b/c i’ve been conditioned to think the message won’t be about anything.
Now, I check messages from potential employers or boo’s(initially), but the fam will probably get ignored until the next day.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:24 am
I’m rolling with you on this N.I.A
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:30 am
I rarely check voicemails either.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:30 am
Oh yea I feel you on that. I meant detailed messages with the purpose of your call. The “hey, it’s me” hardly gets called back. The worse, though, is when the same person calls multiple times (in the same day) and leaves a message every time. One of my best friend’s does that, and it drives me nuts. Cuz all she says each time is “Hey, it’s me. Bye.”
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Smiley Face Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:48 am
What gets me is the messages marked urgent! I HATE that ish. My brother cries wolf at the time with this mess. I don’t return his calls until he emails me.
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Peyso Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
People dont realize that checkin voicemail uses up them daytime minutes. Eff that.
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. and she's dancing like she never danced before... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 am
exactly! LOL!
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
AND ANOTHER THING!
When you call, know what you want to say? I don’t want to waste my time on this phone listening to you think about why you called!
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I’m a fan of the text
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Yep! I’m a busy chick most of the time. If u don’t leave a message, ur just not getting called back. If what u had to say were important, I assume u would have alerted me to that fact somehow. Otherwise, typically, unless I have a reason to call u, I’m not gonna call back just to check.
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:30 am
*grabs a seat at the “hate talking on the phone” table*
Not all us chicks love it.
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
COSIGN. Beyond convos w/ my mommy, I don’t talk on the phone just to talk. If I do get “tricked” into a phone convo I usually don’t pay attn b/c “multitasking” just means doing whatever it was I wanted to do with my time anyway while holding a phone to my ear – which :-/ is admittedly worse than just avoiding the phone convo from jump. If u really want to just “talk,” lets hang out or send me an email.
(exception: sporadic “how’s life” convos & updates with long distance close friends who I don’t see day2day, month2month. special ppl do get special treatment)
(exception: sporadic “how’s life” convos & updates with long distance close friends who I don’t see day2day, month2month. special ppl do get special treatment)
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Exactly, those are my exceptions, too.
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:25 pm
lol, why did my words repeat?
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Reecie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
(exception: sporadic “how’s life” convos & updates with long distance close friends who I don’t see day2day, month2month. special ppl do get special treatment)
these are 90% of my phone conversations. lol. I gotta move, my phone talk time would go down tremendously! I do like to talk though–in any medium.
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This is pretty funny. What a good post to start of my morning…
Most things I understand because I’ve had male friends all of my life. As far as the phone situation is concerned, I think being so elusive was cool pre-smart phone generation. Now that everyone has a Blackberry, or Iphone, or Pre (if you have a flip phone, that’s a problem) the nature of communication has developed into this instantaneous relm of response. I don’t really sweat it if I send a text or bbm and it takes hours to get a response from my man because its not the end of the world; however, I don’t think guys should OD with the lag time…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 am
What exactly is ODn with lag time though? Like 1 hour and 1 minute? lol
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nyhoop - addicted to my Blackberry Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am
I’d say more than a day…I’m the type of person that would rather hear you say, “I’m busy, let me hit you back” because I too get very busy. But no, I’m not counting down the seconds until the BB lead light goes off, lol!
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Peyso Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
We know you are counting down the minutes, you aint gotta lie Craig…
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nyhoop - just for arguments sake Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
hahahahaha nah kid. I have ish to do. (unless I see the little R by the checkmark, then I have to blow up spots!)
If I send you something that’s just for laughs or whatever, and I don’t get a response, I don’t care. But if I send you something important that warrants a response, you read it, and choose not to respond, that’s #notagoodlook
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mi comprehend completely…I guess @ certain age when have studied the species long enough certain things come as no suprise..like shark behavior, altho sometimes unpredictable, most of the time its not LLS
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This list is too funny. My hubby knocked all this out within 6-12 months of dating in one way or another.
#1& #2–We are married and that not picking up the phon…UGH your girl be close to catching a case. He is consistent which works in his favor, no matter how much it annoys me.
#3 Hubby look with the eyebrow ” I hear you” end of discussion lol
#4 The constant “i love yous”…gets old after a while. Validation of love is not how often or who hears you tell your boo you love him/her. Validation is when they say it you feel it and through their actions. I live by the “Your actions speak so loud I can hardly hear what you say.”
#5 Too funny! You listen and stop sometimes and then sometimes you just be like nah I will take that this time. Like @Renee said it goes both ways.
#6 & #7 Simply fact
#8 If he doesnt have homeboys to hang out with sometimes he gets the serious side eye…you need time with your friends and I need time with my homegirls.
“Yep. Omegas Can Write Good,”–cosign on that my hubby is an Omega Man
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 am
ROO!
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This list isn’t exclusive to men. Men love to think they are so special and need to pretend that women need special instructions to make them feel good or not feel annoyed.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:28 am
Wow. Lighten up.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
Good morning Buzz Killington.
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
um. Yeah and when you were born, your parents signed your birth certificate then handed you the “Man Pages.” (computer joke)
Everyone one likes to think that the way they view the world is the most complete. But just like it makes perfect sense to ask a woman on how to satisfy her (specifically), it makes 100% sense for people to point out not so obvious things when dealing with the opposite sex. No need to spaz out about the post. I’m sure it was lighthearted, and it never said that the existence of “special instructions” is mutually exclusive to gender. Good day…
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I read this blog everyday but I’ve never posted (I don’t think?). Anyway! This blog was so on point. This sounds like some of my SO’s comments to me. He is from DC (He still doesn’t like to talk on the phone-LOL). I feel so much better about him and I now. I thought I was the reason he was acting this way. I see, its just a man thing. (whew). What a relief! Thanks for lettin’ a sista know what’s up…..
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
Welcome to the active commenting community and thanks for lurking and ish. As we said in the post, we’re trying to make the world a better place!
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The second part of #1 is lies and deceit. I know when folk are at home, the phone may not be near, given computer access. I’ll give you that. But in the age of Blackberry’s and iPhone’s, I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t have their phone in hand, at their waste, or in a pocket when they’re out and about. Moreover, these days, we check our phones even when it doesn’t vibrate!
So, yea…I’m bothered when you don’t answer. Not saying you gotta answer when you’re around people, but send me a text saying so. “Hey, can’t talk right now. Hit you up later.” It’s that simple. And if you can’t text at that moment, call me back later. The issue, gentlemen, isn’t that you don’t answer, it’s that you don’t call back or give any indication that you will. And, no, I don’t care if you know you’re gonna see me later; I called you for a reason…
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Reecie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:06 am
exactly. and don’t be steading on twitter, but haven’t responded to my text, g-talk, etc. ugh. I seeeeee you!!! LOL
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nyhoop - addicted to my Blackberry Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 am
LMAO!! CO-SIGN 2 times!
(that’s basically what I said above to Slim)
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 am
“don’t be steading on twitter, but haven’t responded to my text, g-talk, etc. ugh. I seeeeee you!!!”
hahahaha! Girl, I didn’t even wanna go there…LOL
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ildolceamore Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:35 am
Co-signature,
ildolceamore
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
LOL…you THINK you called me for a reason.
And yes while people don their blackberries all the time, sometimes you gotta charge em…sometimes you gotta drop a duece…sometimes you gotta roll the L in the other room cuz that’s where the TV is @…sometimes I’m @ the counter of the corner coppin a dutch…things happen meng.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 am
And this is where men and women encounter another #fail. The perceived importance of the woman’s call when it’s not something that’s critically crucial. If I were a developer, I’d develop an application for smart phones that allows an auto-reply text to be sent to the significant other sayin “Can’t talk right now. Love ya boo!” to appease this foolishness.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
And this comment right hea is foolishness. You basically just said, whenever your woman calls, it’s not important. What kind of foolishness is that? I, for one, don’t talk on the phone with the boo very often, since we’re around each other so much. So when I call, it’s a rarity, and he needs to answer. If he doesn’t answer, the courtesy I request is that he calls back. The foolishness here, Sir Jackson, is the perceived importance of what you’re doing being more critically crucial than ensuring that your boo isn’t in dire need.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
That’s where she needs to be creative if I don’t answer and it’s crucial and she can’t text me. At that point, she should send a DM on Twitter.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 am
You bout to make me cuss.
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
y I live by the motto “if there’s no message it ain’t important/if it’s important, leave a message” & all my ppl know that. that way the secret code IS the rare voicemail & thus a call back asap =)
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 am
i agree with this but i agree more with slim here. women are needy creatures. but sometimes women categorize the wrong things as important.
i.e.:
-ooh a funny joke i JUST know he’ll laugh at.
-i picked him up a pair of boxers. i was being considerate. let me call him & tell him.
-i don’t know what to eat for lunch, so i’m bored on my lunchbreak. let me call him.
-my boss is getting on my flipping nerves. let me call him because he’ll make it better.
now when we get home & he asks how our day was we have nothing to say but “fine” because we called him every flipping minute. just like we work and are busy or presumed busy, he is too. get up after work and talk.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:58 am
Do ppl really do that? Isn’t that what gchat is for? That’s a mess… Actually, one of my friends is like that…but she does it to everyone, not just the boo. I won’t get into specifics about the things I call for, but they’re not for random, “I don’t have anything else to do” reasons…
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Reecie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:09 am
g chat is for that, but sometimes when you are flipping mad a phone call is necessary. my girls that work in the field or teach–cant sit on gchat all day like me will call me in a minute, esp if they think its during my lunch time. I’m cool with that. but I guess if I want to share something that just came to me I should just call my mama since she’s retired and has time for my “wrongly important things”. smh.
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Streetztalk Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
Im laughin because Reecie DEF blew me up one time when I didnt answer a gchat message but I was updating twitter. By the time I was done, The MLK memorial was already completed with a west wing and a In and Out . You still my twigga tho, lmao
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Reecie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I hate being ignored. like seriously. by anybody. lol
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:15 am
If something is important it could be sent thru text message. Nothing important has to ever be said via a phone call. A phone call is for conversation, txt message is for information.
AND ANOTHER THING..
limit the communication:
If you call say the most important thing first.. don’t start with a meaningless point than when I want to leave say “but I didn’t even tell you why I wanted to call”
I can see thru this gimmick. You just want to be on the phone b/c your scared to be by yourself and want to “hear my voice”. I thought y’all were independent women… deal with it on your own. Stop using me as some crutch/pychologist. I’ma start charging yall by the hour.
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 am
“I can see thru this gimmick”.
LOL, fuhnee guy.
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Nyela Goodness Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:34 am
Are you serious? “I lost my job. ::tear::” I’m NOT sending that via text. And can we please stop misconstruing financial/career independence with emotional independence?! Just cuz I don’t need you to pay my phone bill doesn’t mean I don’t need you to comfort me when I’m hurt (just one example). But that’s an issue/post for another day.
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she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. and she's dancing like she never danced before... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 am
i agree with this sentiment.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
But wasn’t the the reason why sexist men didn’t want to give you financial independence, b/c he claimed you couldn’t handle the “emotions”?
If we are suppose to be equals, you should be calling me the same amount of time I call you. If you call more, you are only becoming a burden for your man and not his partner. I don’t want to hear about your problems, I got my own. If its life altering than fine, but I’m not falling for that Red Herron:
Lose you job: Call
But maybe you wouldn’t have lost your job if you spent less time talking on the phone about shoes!
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
OMG Cheekz, so harsh. BUT very true.
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... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
A smartphone is nothing but a tool. If I’m at home, I’m likely to leave up stairs while cooking downstairs. Or if I’m playing bball, I might not get to (for feel like) checking it for hours especially if my team is winning. (Winners stay, losers step)
There’s no point in asking a dude ‘why’ he didn’t answer his phone or respond. Clearly was wasn’t available. Find something else to do…
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like a previous commentator said, this is not exclusive to men. we women feel the same way.
#1 & #2: Do not question why I didn’t answer my phone. If I didn’t answer, I’m not being rude. I’m probably busy. Nor do I want you calling me to say something sappy like “hey boo i miss you. tis all”. Txt that mess and leave me be.
#3: you want to talk about your day? fine i’ll be attentive, but once you start rambling, i’m done. i mentally cut you off.
#4: babe I love YOU. If i told you this, please don’t ask me: babe you love me? i’m gonna say something smart like no, i’m using you for my own personal jamming device.
#5: when i say keep doing that, or right there, negro I mean keep doing it & stay right there.
#6: you wan’t Sloppy Mcsloppington, i wan’t Lickey McLickington.
#7: we booboo too.
#8: we have friends & had them before you.
I’d also like to add.. I’m trying to join your team and get down with sports. If I’m taking the time to watch w/ you, answer my questions regarding the sport. If ANY of my shows are on, ESPECIALLY project runway, don’t even THINK about telling me you don’t wanna see it. WE WILL watch TIM GUNN and all of his glory TOGETHER. and you’ll like it.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
“#4: babe I love YOU. If i told you this, please don’t ask me: babe you love me? i’m gonna say something smart like no, i’m using you for my own personal jamming device.”
I just saw Jesus. He told me it wasn’t my time and not to tell anyone what he looks like. Woke up with defib pads on my chest after I read this.
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
LMAO!
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Kasey Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 am
HILARIOUS!
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
LMAO.. Slim’s description of dying was TOO MUCH.
Ash, this comment was on point.
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LoudPen Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
#8…I have nothing to say. The pen is silent. I’m laughing that hard.
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*sigh*
I want to comment but I commented twice last night and my comments keep disappearing
Is there some heck the went into that you can get it for me?
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 am
I saw a few comments from you last nite. Not sure what you mean. Hit me up offline and let me know what’s happening.
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Jaci Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:02 am
I DMed you…cause I can’t remember your e-mail.
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I would like to add an amendment to #5.
You can’t be all excited in the beginning. Esp with NEW GIRLS or first timers. I don’t know what kind of reaction you will have … but more likely whatever you say, do, or moan is going to make me feel more like letting the kids fly. Too quickly we lose focus with NEW onces b/c we got caught in the rapture and enjoy seeing you enjoy my joy.
Its amazing how quickly it could go from “I’m making her..” to “she is making me”.
Calm down. Let me get use to the sound of your voice and the look of your breast flying in the air. Than I’ll have better control. I’m not going slow in the beginning for your sake, I’m trying to save my dignity and do long division (helps to calm him down).
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Jaci Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:18 am
*sigh You have a point here…I’ve heard slow down let me enjoy it or figure it out so I can last longer and I’m like WHAAT?
But now I get it…I guess women are knowledgeless in a few arenas *eye roll
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….don’t you mean: “Omegas can write WELL.”
#7 is hilarious. I don’t know why but the topics of farts and poop are hilarious to me! And shame on that girl in the video, just shame.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:12 am
The Omegas can write good was an intentional error. Geez. And the chick in the video reminds me of a few exes.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Intentional my ass. I told you it should have been “well” several times before you published it, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, “I’m the administrator, I know what’s best” ….smt
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:23 am
Administrators can delete comments sir.lol.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 am
LOL…I guess protocol won’t work here, huh?
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nyhoop - just for arguments sake Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
I got the joke Slim lol
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Peyso Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
You should open a school. The Slim Jackson Center For Bruhz Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too Besides hop, wreck
and serve the lick em high, lick em lowReply
she's a maN.I.A.c, maN.I.A.c on the floor. and she's dancing like she never danced before... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Besides hop, wreck
and serve the lick em high, lick em lowhow true is that, really?
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Did no one watch that youtube clip….my goodness, that was some tomfoolery. Women, we need to listen better. JDs gf was so selfish (and crazy), yikes…I feel bad cause my biggest pet peeve with my man is the phone thing. Typing it makes me mad (lol). I don’t sit by my phone but I am away(different continent and state) from family and friends and I make myself available so folks can reach me (within reason). I always have to remind myself that people have different careers and not everyone has the flexibility that my career has afforded me. Thanks for the list.
I was reading the list and smiling to myself thinking, I have grown because now I get all but #1 (I am working on it…wooooooosah).
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
That video cracked me up… that’s what she gets
who doesn’t know their S.O is leaving for two weeks? lol
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Ok ok on the one hand, I see some of you ladies’ point… If I’m with you and ur phone is always on high and vibrate and you answer everytime someone calls or texts, then yeah… Its a little frustrating when it takes you 5 hours to return my call. But that’s based on principle. If you want me to not expect constant communication, don’t set the precedent with ur homies and bosses when ur with me…
On the other hand, if I hardly see or hear ur phone when ur with me cuz you cut the ringer off to give me ur undivided, and with the exception of every couple hours or so when you check it to see who’s called, you don’t pay attention to it, then I can genuinely reason that you prob didn’t see my call for a couple hours, or that if you did, you were busy. In this day and age of constant communication, I like to turn my ringer off and leave it in the car sometimes, just so ppl don’t get used to be being on call. None of my friends or family expect me to pick up when they call cuz I rarely do… I will call/text back at my convenience. Not yours.
So its all about precedence, if you ask me.
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I’d like to pose a question. When does the threshold between I’m-busy-and-my-phone-is-not-glued-to-me and I’m just being disrespectful get crossed?
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:24 am
*sits back and waits for answer since I honestly wanna know, too*
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ildolceamore Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 am
It’s awfully quiet around this comment…
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Peyso Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Are you ready to stop avoiding our love eboo?
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Peyso Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
Depends. Its a moving scale depending on what is actually happening in one’s life. On a weekend when I aint doin nothing, that time should probably be an hour. During the work week when I got deadlines, that time is probably around 12 hours
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm
It really varies from situation to situation. I don’t quite know why it has to become disrespectful unless you have video of the dude outright ignoring your call. If yall are repeatedly supposed to talk at a certain time and he doesn’t answer, then I can see that. Also, some people are just more sensitive than others. I don’t ever take someone not answering my call and calling back with a certain time frame as disrespectful. If I need to reach them, I will.
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I have to agree. When did not wanting to asnwer a call become disrespectful? I feel like unless a guy never picks up/calls u back after leaving a message when u have a pertinent matter at hand, he has a right to not answer a call nor be questioned about it. The reasons are limitless! Should he (or anybody really) need a reason to not answer anyway? I say no. Speaking on behalf of myself, I can’t even count the number of times I just didn’t answer my ringing/vibrating phone in my hand because I just didn’t want to. U can judge ppl for it if u want; it may be inconsiderate if said person knows u like to talk on the phone a lot, but it’s not disrespectful.
There’s a difference b/w demanding attention & commanding attention – u can’t demand somebody elses time. Now, if u can command their time, making it hard NOT to pick up ur call b/c u just that fabulous, then kudos!
In the end tho, if u can legitimately assess disrespect, or feel like guy is just inconsiderate all too often, i.e. not calling u back even after a voicemail asking for a returned call…then he probably shouldn’t be considered ur friend/boopiece anymore anyway.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I don’t want to talk to you.
Its not disrespectful, you’re just not that interesting.
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Rox Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Sometimes it’s like that.
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Seattle Washington Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:18 pm
If I’m sitting by myself in a room with nothing going on, staring at the paint dry, racking my brain for something to do, you call and I hit “ignore” – that’s disrespectful.
If I’m at work grinding and I couldn’t reach my phone in time to pick up your “important” call – I’m busy.
And there’s some room to play in between those two statements.
I pose a question to you – if a dude’s getting a lap dance at a strip club and you call, is it more disrespectful to pick up the phone or to ignore it?
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:23 pm
So what if you just don’t want to talk to that person at that moment in time? Pending there’s no current beef between two people, are you saying its disrespectful just to simply not be in the mood at the moment to talk to them? If so, then it implies that one is obligated to answer that call in order to be ‘respectful’. I don’t know if I can roll with that one since a homie can just call back.
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nyhoop - just for arguments sake Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you have to be available everytime someone hits you on the phone or whatever. It seems to me that most people who read this blog have things going on in their lives. I’m simply asking, how long do you let that distance/business or whatever go on before getting back to that person? (If its a random person, or someone you just met, and you don’t want to talk to them, then that’s just the situation and they probably will get the point.) But I think your S/O should get a little more respect, no?
@Seattle – The strip club thing? Again, that’s just an example of dude being busy, lol. I personally don’t smother, so if I had something important to say, I’d expect a return msg/call once you’re available
which shouldn’t be days on endDoes that make sense?Reply
*still cracking up at the surprising revelation that your booboo stinks* I think actually YA’LL need to know that ours do. That’s the whole purpose of
Flavor Flav’sa turd’s life. To stink.Oh, you want the womens to make a list, too? Here’s ONE major one to start off with:
1. A polite smile does NOT mean I want to jump your not-so-lovely bones. Sometimes it’s just being polite. Learn to decipher, pwease.
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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
SAY THAT AGAIN.
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... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Then on the flip side, when I’m out sometimes a few of my lady friends may say: “She’s interested in you! You should’ve talked to her!” Even though she only gave a polite smile. Usually I think that person is being polite because I was polite in saying “excuse me” while walking by. Or maybe its because I don’t see every woman that happens to be attractive as a potential target. Just saying… But then again… I’m suppose to read minds…
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:26 pm
You gotta pick another name other than “…” man.lol. 3 Ways etiquette.
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I was wracking my brain over how to pronounce his e-moniker. “Dot-dot-dot”? “Ellipses”? These are the things I do when I should be working.
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
My bad. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything else. lol
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
*dying* @ your final choice of name. You shoulda stuck with “…”
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
lol. Just a product of the same issue when coming up with the first name. Hopefully, the comments generated from me not being banned will offset the death. lol
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:51 pm
If that polite smile was tighly pursed lips smile folks do to acknowledge people they don’t know, then no…don’t follow your friends’ advice. lol
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MeteorMan Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I think there was some teeth. But it didn’t matter, since I was already on a mission.
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This whole post was the bomb. It has finally allowed me to accept that men really don’t like talking on the phone. I’ve struggled with this for years. *Moment of clarity*
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... Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:19 pm
(the sky opens up)
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For the ladies all I say is: ADMIT you were wrong. 2 examples-My ex now just wants to be friends after now finding out she’s not pregnant with the OTHER guys seed at 27 she is sexing co workers raw…WRONG. Now that she dodged that bullet she then gets at me about how horny she was the other nite…I reminded her you want to be FRIENDS. Imo she thought I was weak and would go for that “yes means no” bull$hit. I told her I now see her as a relative she then ask should she be offended. In the words of incomparable Ocho Cinco ” Chile please”. If anything her ego is bruised.
No 2-the “She had to have his Baby type” and since so this former fashionista is now stuck so stuck she canceeled our date last Sat cause of those No’easters and she was afraid how it would affect her son..well thats smart but her problem is getting ANYONE to watch her kid. She claims to get no help from her fam or her fab friends many of whom are RHOA and the black chi-chi types which makes me question how much of a diva she ever was before the kid. There is something weird when someone cant get help from neither friends nor fam MAYBE they were all against her having her BD’s seed but knucklehead did so anyway..how bad is it? I have no kids so seeing the film “Where the Wild Things Are” is not a must do RIGHT NOW. She threw it at me as her alternative I knew right there she wanted bring her son and that means we would have to go out earlier. Mind yo she set up this date on Oct 1st-so here on the 17th I was about to get teh condoms already had the date planned she confirmed but then pulled out and then came up with wack ass plan B-from going bowling (which allows for plenty of touchy feely moments ) to sitting in a theater wit a 2 yr old, once again in the words of Ocho Cinco..”chile please”. She was wrong for having this man baby to the poin even a acasual date in which she sure as hell wanted me to come thru telling about this 500 Days of Summer dvd…talk about throwing cold water on a date…but yea ladies admit defeat.
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The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, You Can't Be Serious Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
**scratches head**
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Reecie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
no shots, temps but I always end up scratching my head. lol
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I think sometimes folks need to rant. lol
Let it out, temps.
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:59 pm
CHeeKie i e-love you for being so supportive, but
“Let it out, temps.”
Isn’t how he thought he got the girl preggers in the first place?
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I knew I could count on you to go there. I was waiting for someone to…
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CHeeKZ Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
“I knew I could count on you to go there. I was waiting for someone to…”
Virgin’s last words
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Cheekie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Corner…
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temps Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Of course you have to rant – a blog is great for it and being I have dealt with the 1st chick since 97 and she is becoming more confusing by the minute, (sexes boyfriend with condom but jumpoffs with out one)
no 2 I have dealt with (not dated we havent gone out on a real date since January) for a year and nothing is improving. Having that “studs” baby has rocked her world summin awful.Oddly these two ladies never call me they only text so thats cool.
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ashbunnie Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
#noshots but WTF does this have to do with the post?!?
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It’s not the “not getting” that often gets us caught up… it’s the not caring
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In light of the women y’all have enlightened here today & the number of women who DO get most of these things already, is it so hard to explain these things to those women in ur lives who don’t? I feel like reasonable girls will get it & appreciate it, & the ones who don’t will have helped u narrow down ur prospects. Sounds like a truly decent convo could be a win-win.
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I seriously gotta stop reading these blogs.. i’m starting to think i was a man in a previous life. I think and act alot like a man apparently.
1. I rarely answer my phone except when my daughter is at daycare and the number comes up as private(as the daycare does)
2. I hate talking on the phone.. say what you gotta say and hang the fuck up. I have better things to be doing than sitting doin nuthin but listening to your jaws flappin.
3. I can listen to you and continue whatever else i was doin. Why do you need a cheerleading squad to continue talking?
4. I don’t say I love you to anyone other than my daughter on a regular basis.. she hears it every day. The simple fact that your still around should be enough to tell you that your cared for and wanted. Im not here to be your ego/love booster.
5. I love this one.. simply because i love making it as intense as it can go without you punching me in the head, lol.
6. Nuff said. I love to give it.
7. Doesn’t everyones stink? I’ve never smelled any that gave off the aroma of roses.
8. Back up, give me some space. I like my alone time. If your in my face all the time, You will very quickly get on my nerves and I will be out the door.
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oh gosh im so guilty of most of this…… and all these comments are so hilarious
great post guys
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My comments are gender neutral:
#1, stop being so thirsty. Your boo might be in a meeting, chillin, whatever. Relax. Everything ain’t a damn emergency
#7, you know (male or female) whether or not you should pre-spray before you start
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