How to Write a Really Good Blog

Posted by Slimuel L. Jackson on March 27, 2009 - 30 Comments
Advice, Random Commentary

After doing this sh*t for a little while now, I think I’ve started to figure out the perfect formula on how to write a bangin ass blog. The sh*t is really simple. Rather than keep f*ckin around talkin bout some bullsh*t, I’ma get right into it…just like ya girl. Ya feel me?

Keep it raw

Yo, when you really tryna have that traffic comin thru, you need to keep it raw. Aint no need to hold back on swearin and sh*t. People love vulgarity. The more you f*ckin swear, the more people will be entertained, the better off your blog will be. Oh yeah, eff condoms! B*tch!

Your vs. You’re

F*ck it. Doesn’t matter. Use your for everything cuz it’s easier and nobody cares when they just wanna be entertained. Are you not entertained? Eat a thick one.

Sex Talk

Everybody loves sex and smut talk. Make sure to use words like d*ck, p*ssy, balls, f*ck, cum, backshots, c*ck, etc. Also be sure to use phrases like “ride dat dyck” and “bust a fat nut”. This will keep the people coming back for more…or do I mean cuming?

Spellin Errahs

Don’t proofread yo sh*t. Blogs sposed to be real and uneditd if you want your sh*t to be popular. That typo in the last sentence was on purpose. Got more visitors cuz of it.

Punctuation

F*ck it Use a lot or none at all

Topics

Stay away from anything that makes people think or reflect…period. F*ck books too.

Pictures

Always use provocative ass pics. Who cares if people are at work when they read your site. Nothin is more exhilarating than seein how quickly you can minimize the screen or X out the window before someone see dem titties or dat ass. Ta-dow.

Videos

All videos posted should be similar to Tip Drill by Nelly or P*ssy Poppin by Luda.

Conclusion

Its easy to have a poplar website if you want to. Follow these steps and watch your readership grow regardless of what your promoting. F*cka Three Ways to Take It. That site is straight trash. Worst site on the net.

Keepin it real…and sh*t,

About Slimuel L. Jackson

Slimuel L. Jackson has written 237 articles on this blog.

Slim is a founder of Three Ways to Take It and a blogging machine. He describes himself as an honest, witty, and thought-provoking writer that's willing to tackle any topic that won't get him fired from his day job. Slim is the epitome of #BAWSE.

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30 Responses to “How to Write a Really Good Blog”

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JG*

March 27, 2009 at 8:53 am

The beauty of this post is just amazing. Bravo Sir Nuts.. Bravo!

Oh yea*

and C*nt, Sh**, and a whole bunch of otherness!

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Peyso will kuffi smack you

March 27, 2009 at 9:13 am

This post somehow made me laugh like really obscenely loud and i almost fell out of my chair

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Nyela Goodness

March 27, 2009 at 9:36 am

This post made my morning. I’m not doing work for the rest of the day. In fact, I think I’ll take these suggestions and apply it to my day. I’ll think of it as How to have a really good day at the office… Yeaaa…that’s what I’ll do:

I think I’m gonna start out by replacing “Good morning” with “What up, Mothaf***a?” to my co-workers. (People will be inspired that I’m taking a stand against archaic, office norms.) Then I’ll announce to everyone that I can’t wait to go home and ~~go raw~~ receive the pumpington from my boo-piece. (Breaking communication barriers!) Oooh then I’ll send out a company-wide email with the lyrics to The Whisper Song and propose it as our new theme/brand song. (Inciting change!) This’ll just be great.

Thanks, O’Houlihan! I think I’ll definitely make it to the top now!

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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:47 am
LOL.

This comment makes me smile for a multitude of reasons. It’s always great to know that a fellow man will be able to indulge in the warmth that is his wifeykins on Friday night. I envy him.

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Nyela Goodness Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Yea…it’s especially grand and warm when his roommate isn’t home.

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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
smh.

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RightCoastLexSteele, The Game Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 10:30 am
HOTNUTZ!!

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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:43 am
You are fabulous.

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Sasha Two Pistols Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Wow, I’m dying laughing over here! But I like the replacing “Good Morning” with “What’s up mothaf**ka” that’s more my mood when I walk into work anyway….lol!.

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Reign

March 27, 2009 at 9:43 am

Just wow! I’ll keep all that in mind lol.

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Cheekie

March 27, 2009 at 10:22 am

AHAHAHA! What a great way to start off a Friday ~~other than seeing money appear in my checking account~~.

Another good way to get a loyal audience:

E-F*ck your commenters. I’ve noticed the more those mysterious bloggin’ ninjas flirt with his commenters, the more loyal the commenters. And once you have enough of them, run an e-train. I’m talkin’ Amtrak.

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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:42 am
“And once you have enough of them, run an e-train. I’m talkin’ Amtrak.”

Oh em gee!

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Y.O.

March 27, 2009 at 10:37 am

Wowsers!!!! Very nice blog! That one woke me the hell up…just what I needed for the day, a pick me up! Peace Out Mutha F*ckers! LMAO

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RightCoastLexSteele, The Game

March 27, 2009 at 10:50 am

“You know why people read Three Ways? Because they’re writing about big screen tv’s, blunts, 40′s and b*tches. Your writing about homosexuals and vicadin. Get that sh*t outta here!!!”

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Britt

March 27, 2009 at 11:31 am

*Dead*

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niasmomma

March 27, 2009 at 11:32 am

Happy Friday, ya F*CKIN’ BASTAAAADS! lol

In honor of this ballz out post – I think, to get more “followers” today, I’ll just blurt out random TMI tidbits when my co-workers and students greet me.

Coworker: “Hi, Ms. Hill!”
Me : “Good morning… I think I have a yeast infection…”

Students: “Good morning, Ms. Hill!”
Me: “Good morning, little f*cker… I was hoping you would have stayed home today… Oh, well…”

Oh, and “Eat a thick one”…

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RightCoastLexSteele, The Showstopper, The Headline, The Main Event Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:39 am
“Good morning mistakes and missed birth control!”

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Sasha Two Pistols Reply:
March 30th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
LMAO!

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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 11:41 am
“Students: “Good morning, Ms. Hill!”
Me: “Good morning, little f*cker… I was hoping you would have stayed home today… Oh, well…””

I am in tears. LMAO.

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Sowhatiff Jenkins Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
LMAO!!

“Hey there little snot rags.”

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Nicki Sunshine

March 27, 2009 at 11:41 am

I am kilt softly now

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Peyso will kuffi smack you

March 27, 2009 at 11:54 am

I think the vulgarity would automatically make ppl think I’m joking. So i would just be nuttier and act as if any and everyone was my butler.

Boss: “Good Morning Peyso, did you finish those TPS reports?”
Peyso: “Just a bit of sugar in my tea, strawberry cream cheese on my bagel and if there is as much as a bit of pulp in my OJ, you’re getting sent back to Colombia”

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Slim Jackson Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
“if there is as much as a bit of pulp in my OJ, you’re getting sent back to Colombia”

Tear drop laughington.

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Southern Belle Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
LMAO, a mess!

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Tunde

March 27, 2009 at 12:20 pm

i am dying over here. lol

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Sowhatiff Jenkins

March 27, 2009 at 1:16 pm

yall be on dat s@!* on this blog. That’s what’s up tho.

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Seattle Washington

March 27, 2009 at 1:45 pm

YeAh s0n!!! Fr0M NoW oN I’M g0iNg to tYpE eRRth@nG LiK3 th!s.

Th@nKs f0r thE aDviCe H0tnUtZZZ!!!

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Cheekie Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Oh, see, now that’s just wrong. lol

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Nicki Sunshine Reply:
March 27th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
NOOOOOOOO!

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RightCoastLexSteele, The Showstopper, The Headline, The Main Event

March 27, 2009 at 1:57 pm

You forgot to add get some great co-writers and witty contributing writers!

And for my Caribbean friends: Bumboclaat, Rahtid, Blouse an skirt, rassclaat, fassy and suck yuh mumma.

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